Issue48 [Cracking小组]欢迎狠批

kexinyupiaoUID: 2250204

[Cracking小组第三次作业]
TOPIC: ISSUE48 - "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
WORDS: 516          TIME: 1:12:14          DATE: 2007-2-3
有保留的同意：广大人民在历史上起着重要作用，但个人在历史上的作用仍受重视
1、        科技进步的发明由人们使用带来科技和社会的进步
                 蒸汽机
2、        人类社会的变动、重大事件靠人民的力量去产生
                Martin Luther King Jr. and the Civil Rights Act
3、        广大人民的需求推动科技和社会进步
                 望远镜和curved glass
4、        回顾历史时，我们应着重研究个人，即便利又可行

Does the study of history really place too much emphasis on individuals? Although I agree with the speaker that the most significant events and trends in history were made possible by the famous few as well as groups of people, the emphasis placed on individuals is not so much as the speaker says.

Today, technology and the research of science are improving almost every day and night. However, hundreds years ago, it was Industrial Revolution which made the society place emphasis on the study of technology. When the stern train was invented in England, people were amazed to find it is the fastest and most convenience train they had ever seen in their entire life. Finding the new invention would save a lot of time and money, people began to make use of stern train, which therefore bring change to the whole world as well. With the train, people could go from place to place faster and easier, bringing with them culture and custom in which they were bought up, thus, changing societies with different culture and custom.

Another example demonstrating that people played an important part in history is that the pass of the Civil Rights Act. We all know that Martin Luther King Jr. advocated the nonviolence movement and the freedom for everyone, black and white, regardless of the color of skin, and he was the one who promoted the pass of the Civil Rights Act which brought great changes to the life of American people; however, it is thousands of black people, who stand fast with all the abuse they faced and thousand of white people, who understand the real meaning behind the conception of freedom, that really get past of the Civil Rights Act.

Moreover, it is hundreds of thousands of people who make the improvement of the technology and society possible. For example, some instruments and apparatus which have brought great changed to the world were invented to meet the needs of people. For instance, the curved glass which could be used to build a telescope was used to produce illusion for fun at first. Besides, the demand of people can change the situation of a society. As the example of Civil Rights Act mentioned above, the situation of black people in America became better thus made the American society more harmonious.

Nonetheless, when we intend to know the idea of a certain group, it is wiser and more advisable for us to study the idea of a few people who are representative enough of the very group instead of all the numbers of the group. Obviously, studying all people in a certain group is impossible and unwise, while studying a few numbers of people, who may be the leaders of the group or important instructors of the groups, is comparative easier, as the idea of the leader of a group would represent the idea of the whole group.

To sum up, countless people have played an important role in the development of the history of the human beings. However, the importance placed on individuals is advisable, especially when one want to get closer to that phase of history.

shuwenyingUID: 2233183

Does the study of history really place too much emphasis on individuals? Although I agree with the speaker that the most significant events and trends in history were made possible by the famous few as well as groups of people, the emphasis placed on individuals is not so much as the speaker says. 建议开头的时候把题目同义改写一下
建议开头先写TS，这样稳妥一点Today, technology and the research of science are improving almost every day and night. However, hundreds years ago, it was Industrial Revolution which made the society place emphasis on the study of technology. When the stern train was invented in England, people were amazed to find it is the fastest and most convenience train they had ever seen in their entire life. Finding the new invention would save a lot of time and money, people began to make use of stern train, which therefore bring change to the whole world as well. With the train, people could go from place to place faster and easier, bringing with them culture and custom in which they were bought up, thus, changing societies with different culture and custom. 写作的时候例子最好简洁一点，重点是分析例子，用例子支持自己的观点。例子只是一个工具，不能喧宾夺主。例如，现在你没有分析，我作为读者完全可以认为：既然工业革命这么伟大，发明机器的少数人岂不是功劳最大？
Another example demonstrating that people played an important part in history is that the pass of the Civil Rights Act. We all know that Martin Luther King Jr. advocated the nonviolence movement and the freedom for everyone, black and white, regardless of the color of skin, and he was the one who promoted the pass of the Civil Rights Act which brought great changes to the life of American people; however, it is thousands of black people, who stand fast with all the abuse they faced and thousand of white people,知道你的意思想说“MKL这个人挺身而出，经受敌意和辱骂”，但是这句话这样写结构有点不太清楚 who understand the real meaning behind the conception of freedom, that really get past of the Civil Rights Act.同样，分析很重要
Moreover, it is hundreds of thousands of people who make the improvement of the technology and society possible. For example, some instruments and apparatus which have brought great changed to the world were invented to meet the needs of people. For instance, the curved glass which could be used to build a telescope was used to produce illusion for fun at first. 这个例子完整一点比较好，因为我看到这里就自然地在心里问：然后呢？人们怎么让它实现的？Besides, the demand of people can change the situation of a society. As the example of Civil Rights Act mentioned above, the situation of black people in America became better thus made the American society more harmonious. 论点是人们使科技和社会进步成为可能，
Nonetheless, when we intend to know the idea of a certain group, it is wiser and more advisable for us to study the idea of a few people who are representative enough of the very group instead of all the numbers of the group. Obviously, studying all people in a certain group is impossible and unwise, while studying a few numbers of people, who may be the leaders of the group or important instructors of the groups, is comparative easier这两个词意思重叠了, as the idea of the leader of a group would represent the idea of the whole group.这个观点本身就是一个issue的题目哦，就是说本身就是一个具有复杂性的观点，用它来作为一个前提来验证自己观点的正确性会部分削弱说服力
To sum up, countless people have played an important role in the development of the history of the human beings. However, the importance placed on individuals is advisable, especially when one want to get closer to that phase of history.
建议养成开头写TS的习惯，例子和议论的比例适当～～继续努啊

[ 本帖最后由 shuwenying 于 2007-2-3 22:22 编辑 ]

kexinyupiaoUID: 2250204

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