issue7 <aspire互改小组>第3次作业

jjjinyUID: 2297865

According to the speaker, the video camera provides a more important form of documentation than written records for the reason that the video camera provides a more accureate and convincing record of contemporary life. I almost agree to the opinion on the important role video camera plays in our daily life, though I also think the written records are indispensable in our modern life.
For the purpose of documenting temporal, spatial events and experiences, I agree that video camera is a more important form of documentation. No matter how skillful a reporter or a journalist can write a report, it still lacks the powerful and vividly of the image which can be given by the video camera. The written records can't give you the visual descriptions on the event, and sometimes we even won't believe a thing till we see it by our own eyes, which can be provided by the video camera. Take the 9.11 event for example, when my friends told me the TWIN TOWER was cracked by the airplane just now, I simply thought they were deceiving me for it's almost an forever "impossible" event in my though. Then they showed me the TV program which was recorded by the video carera, and I even can't believe my eyes when I saw it happening but finally I believed it. Without video camera, I think maybe many of us won't treat this kind of things to be true. So I think video camer is more convining when provided to illustrate something campared with written records.
The growing documentary role of video is not limited to seminal events like those described above, we use it more and more in almost every aspects of our life. Wheather we have good incidents or if there are some evidences we want to reord, I think most of the people nowadays will choose to use camera instead of records. For one things, it's more convenience and more rapidly to use the camera; for another, we can see the video records can play a more important role when we are recalling some sweet moments several years later. If we can provide some video records in the courtroom to support ourselves, we can have a much better chance to win. For the reasons above and some other reasons I don't illustrate which is existing in fact,  in order to record our contemportary life, the possibility for us to choose the video camera is much higher than the chance of the written record.
Nonetheless, for certain other purposes written records are advantageous to and more appropriate than video records. The law or other agreements we have reached must be recorded as the written form, for the written form is more formal and more preciseness compared with wideo form when an article or item should be record. Meanwhile, the conservation time and procession for the written record is much longer than the video form. In addition, if we want to express our feelings or our sense or reaction to something, writing it down completely may be a better choice. So written records are also playing important roles in our period of time.
In a word, the video camera provides a more accurate and convincing record of our contemporary life, and so it's a important form of documentation, but we can't magnify its effects. Written records is also indispensable in the modern world. A video record can be more objective and precise while it is of no use in documenting statistical or other quantitative information.

adamli629UID: 2230674

According to the speaker, the video camera provides a more important form of documentation than written records for the reason that the video camera provides(连续用两个provides是不是有点重复？要是换一个词用会更好) a more accureate(accurate) and convincing record of contemporary life. I almost agree to the opinion on the important role video camera plays in our daily life, though I also think the written records are indispensable in our modern life.
For the purpose of documenting temporal, spatial events and experiences, I agree that video camera is a more important form of documentation. No matter how skillful a reporter or a journalist can write a report, it still lacks the powerful and vividly of the image which can be given by the video camera. The written records can't give you the visual descriptions on the event, and sometimes we even won't believe a thing till we see it by our own eyes, which can be provided by the video camera. Take the 9.11 event for example, when my friends told me the TWIN TOWER was cracked by the airplane just now, I simply thought they were deceiving me for it's almost an forever "impossible" event in my though. Then they showed me the TV program which(that) was recorded by the video carera(camera), and I even can't believe my eyes when I saw it happening but finally I believed it. Without video camera, I think maybe many of us won't treat this kind of things to be true. So I think video camer(camera) is more convining(convincing) when provided to illustrate something campared (compared)with written records.（例子很生动）
The growing documentary role of video is not limited to seminal events like those described above, (;) we use it more and more in almost every aspects of our life. Wheather(Whether) we have good incidents or if there are some evidences we want to reord(record), I think most of the people nowadays will choose to use camera instead of records. For one things(thing), it's more convenience and more rapidly to use the camera; for another, we can see the video records can play a more important role when we are recalling some sweet moments several years later.（这句话读着有些别扭，另外还有用词重复的毛病。如两个can。） If we can provide some video records in the courtroom to support ourselves, we can have a much better chance to win. For the reasons above and some other reasons I don't illustrate which is existing(exists) in fact, in order to record our contemportary(contemporary) life, the possibility for us to choose the video camera is much higher than the chance of the written record.
Nonetheless, for certain other purposes written records are advantageous to and more appropriate than video records. The law or other agreements we have reached must be recorded as the written form, for the written form is more formal and more preciseness compared with wideo(video) form when an article or item should be record. Meanwhile, the conservation time and procession for the written record is much longer than the video form. In addition, if we want to express our feelings or our sense or reaction to something, writing it down completely may be a better choice. So written records are also playing important roles in our period of time.
In a word, the video camera provides a more accurate and convincing record of our contemporary life, and so it's a(an) important form of documentation, but we can't magnify its effects. Written records is(are) also indispensable in the modern world. A video record can be more objective and precise while it is of no use in documenting statistical or other quantitative information.
几点小建议：
首先拼写上好多错误，小的地方应该认真点，如果因为这些丢分有些不值得了。其次，语言上好多用重复的词，应该适当尽可能变换一下，这样给人的感觉会更好。
例子举的感觉不错，但有的也能看出来是网上的大众化例子，应该有些新意。总体感觉论证很严密，能围绕自己的论点进行论述。总之加油吧！写的比我好多了。呵呵