argument239 【四海一家】第三次作业

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239The following appeared as an editorial in the local newspaper of Dalton.
"When the neighboring town of Williamsville adopted a curfew four months ago that made it illegal for persons under the age of 18 to loiter or idle in public places after 10 p.m., youth crime in Williamsville dropped by 27 percent during curfew hours. In Williamsville's town square, the area where its citizens were once most outraged at the high crime rate, not a single crime has been reported since the curfew was introduced. Therefore, to help reduce its own rising crime rate, the town of Dalton should adopt the same kind of curfew. A curfew that keeps young people at home late at night will surely control juvenile delinquency and protect minors from becoming victims of crime."       

The author of this editorial suggests that Dalton should adopt the same curfew as Williamsville to control juvenile delinquency and protect minors from becoming victims of crime. The author tries to convince us by comparing Dalton with Williamsville in terms of the same situation. However, the seemingly reasonable statement reveals several logical fallacies, which make the statement doubtable for us to believe.

First, the author tries to convince us by a fact that since Williamsville adopted a curfew four months ago, youth crime in Williamsville dropped by 27 percent during curfew hours. While we believe that is the truth, the author’s thinking, which suggests the former action caused the latter result, is unacceptable. Apparently, the author makes a mistake of “after this, therefore because of this”. Since there is no such cause-effect relationship between the two events, we can think of many results the former one causes, and also, various reasons that cause the latter one. For example, the drop of crime is because the season was not suitable for people to go outside; maybe it was too hot or too cold. In that case, the crime will probably rise certain time later.

Moreover, the author tells us that in Williamsville's town square, not a single crime has been reported since the curfew was introduced. First, beside the same mistake analyzed above, the author also fails to realize that the situation of one town square does not represent the situation of the whole town. It is highly possible that the crimes scattered in other areas, which the author does not mention. Second, the crimes have not been reported does not mean there were no crimes. Therefore, if the author wants to convince us he or she will have to present more details about the fact and convincing evidence to prove he or she is right.

Finally, even if the drop of crimes in Williamsville is in virtue of the curfew, the idea that “all things are equal” is incorrect. The author assumes without justification that Dalton should adopt the same policy as Williamsville because he or she believes that they can benefit the same as Williamsville. However, what is practical in Williamsville is not necessarily as practical in Dalton. There have to be some dissimilarity between the two towns, which results in the different effects when put in force a same policy. Unless the author brings forward a sound analysis, the suggestion will not be as rational as it could be.

In conclusion, the author fails to convince us his or her suggestion is right. To be fair and objective enough, the author should present clear evidence, convincing reasons, sound analysis, and objective details, which help to decide whether they should adopt the same curfew as Williamsville.

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239The following appeared as an editorial in the local newspaper of Dalton.
"When the neighboring town of Williamsville adopted a curfew four months ago that made it illegal for persons under the age of 18 to loiter or idle in public places after 10 p.m., youth crime in Williamsville dropped by 27 percent during curfew hours. In Williamsville's town square, the area where its citizens were once most outraged at the high crime rate, not a single crime has been reported since the curfew was introduced. Therefore, to help reduce its own rising crime rate, the town of Dalton should adopt the same kind of curfew. A curfew that keeps young people at home late at night will surely control juvenile delinquency and protect minors from becoming victims of crime."      

The author of this editorial suggests that Dalton should adopt the same curfew as Williamsville to control juvenile delinquency and protect minors from becoming victims of crime. The author tries to convince us by comparing Dalton with Williamsville in terms of the same situation. 这句话似乎有点问题,作者并没有把两者进行比较,只是假设情况相同罢了 However, the seemingly reasonable statement reveals several logical fallacies, which make the statement doubtable for us to believe.

First, the author tries to convince us by a fact that since Williamsville adopted a curfew four months ago, youth crime in Williamsville dropped by 27 percent during curfew hours. While we believe that is the truth, the author’s thinking, which suggests the former action caused the latter result, is unacceptable. Apparently, the author makes a mistake of “after this, therefore because of this”.恩,典型的句型,强加因果关系 Since there is no such cause-effect relationship between the two events, we can think of many results the former one causes, and also, various reasons that cause the latter one. For example, the drop of crime is because the season was not suitable for people to go outside; 关于分号的使用我不是很理解maybe it was too hot or too cold. In that case, the crime will probably rise certain time later.这里有更明显的错误是犯罪时间的问题,可能改在curfew以外的时间进行,这一段最后的论理感觉有些勉强,当然也没有错

Moreover, the author tells us that in Williamsville's town square, not a single crime has been reported since the curfew was introduced. First, beside the same mistake analyzed above, the author also fails to realize that the situation of one town square does not represent the situation of the whole town. It is highly possible that the crimes scattered这个词不错,我用happen就感觉很恶心 in other areas, which the author does not mention. Second, the crimes have not been reported does not mean there were no crimes. 这里最好补充一下为什么会没有被报告,感觉更完整 Therefore, if the author wants to convince us he or she 这里用He or she感觉不好,用he就行了吧will have to present more details about the fact and convincing evidence to prove he or she is right.

Finally, even if the drop of crimes in Williamsville is in virtue of the curfew, the idea that “all things are equal” is incorrect.感觉这里写the argument is based on a false analogy更专业一些 The author assumes without justification that Dalton should adopt the same policy as Williamsville because he or she 第二次he or she,感觉有点烦琐believes that they can benefit the same as Williamsville. However, what is practical in Williamsville is not necessarily as这个as是什么意思? practical in Dalton.这里用valid代替practical感觉更好 There have to be some dissimilarity between the two towns,最好这里能讲清楚到底有哪些不同 which results in the different effects when put in force a same policy. Unless the author brings forward a sound analysis, the suggestion will not be as rational as it could be.

In conclusion, the author fails to convince us his or her suggestion is right. To be fair and objective enough, the author should present clear evidence, convincing reasons, sound analysis, and objective details, which help to decide whether they should adopt the same curfew as Williamsville.

优点主要是句式的灵活和用词的多样,值得学习,但分析错误的感觉批驳还不到位,还不够深入,多考虑几个为什么会使得你的逻辑感觉更严密.
感觉楼主的issue的语言要比argument要流畅,不知道是为什么,这只是我的拙见,有说的不对的欢迎讨论!