issue196 【四海一家】第三次作业

yuzhongwumeiUID: 2155222

196"Technology creates more problems than it solves, and may threaten or damage the quality of life."

We are living in a time when technology becomes the mainstream of the society, in which we enjoy the comfort and convenience brought by technology. While the development of technology enables us modern people to share the joy that never occurs to our ancestors, it also brings about many problems that have potential harm to damage, or already have damaged our quality of life and require us to figure out solutions.

It cannot be denied that technology has enhanced the overall standard of living and comfort level of human beings. As the aspect of traffic, we have taken great advantage of technology. Currently, we almost can go to anywhere in the earth if we want to, conveniently and fast. Due to the development of planes, trains, cars and boats, we are able to do business all over the world, achieving the goal of economic globalization; we can travel to any city in the country, any country in the world, making our lives more delectable and meaningful. As worldwide telecommunications have become both faster and less expensive, people are now able to keep in touch with more people in more places. Internet leads people to gain abundant information effectively and efficiently. We are acquainted with real time events that happened all over the world. Likewise, electronic technology and digital products provide people a novel way to ameliorate their lives.

Also, what we cannot deny, however, is that technology also threatens the quality of our lives. The introduction of nuclear weapons accounts for great changes for human beings and military. However, various allegations of resulting illness have also been made for many years. Thousands of persons have suffered from cancer because of public exposure to fallout in the world. Perhaps no event in biotechnology has caused more uproar and bioethical discussion than the cloning of Dolly, whose birth also created a sensation in the press and caused a wave of anxiety over the prospects for cloning humans.

However, what technology has caused today have to be solved by technology itself. We cannot stop producing automobiles because of the pollution. Instead, we should figure out a solution to make cars that cannot contaminate the environment or explore a new way to treat the environmental problems. Also, internet crimes cannot allay our passion to explore the application of technology of communication and, on the contrary, appeal many educated people to devote themselves to the mission of a securer network. Especially, environmentally speaking, our predecessors, in the ancient time, did not know how to explore and utilize natural resources, which is a matter of waste rather than environmentalism. It is our increasing knowledge and experience that enable us to avail ourselves of nature, though inevitably accompanied with harm. Hence now what we have to do is to excogitate a fresh way to keep the balance between human and nature, which is more complex and challenging.

We are facing numerous troubles when we celebrate our past success, which is a fact, not an illusion. But human beings are of wisdom, perception, imagination and creativity. We can always recognize our flaws and free our minds to exceed the boundaries of current technology, endeavoring to improve our lives.

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新的一步UID: 2194020

196"Technology creates more problems than it solves, and may threaten or damage the quality of life."

We are living in a time when technology becomes the mainstream of the society这个mainstream用得不错, in which we enjoy the comfort and convenience brought by technology. While the development of technology enables us这里的us感觉多余了 modern people to share the joy that never occurs to our ancestors, it also brings about many problems that have potential harm to damage, or already have damaged our quality of life and required us to figure out solutions.

It cannot be denied that technology has enhanced the overall standard of living and comfort level of human beings. As the aspect 好像一般都用in the aspect吧of traffic, we have taken great advantage of technology. Currently, we almost can go to anywhere in the earth if we want to, conveniently and fast. Due to the development of planes, trains, cars and boats, we are able to do business all over the world, achieving the goal of economic globalization; we can travel to any city in the country, any country in the world, making our lives more delectable 可能是使用习惯的问题,感觉这里用个wonderful更好,delectable是可喜的意思吧?and meaningful. As worldwide telecommunications have become both faster and less expensive, people are now able to keep in touch with more people in more places. Internet leads people to gain abundant information effectively and efficiently. We are acquainted with real time events that happened all over the world. Likewise, electronic technology and digital products provide people a novel way to ameliorate 可能是我比较土,但是ameliorate的用法我不是很熟悉,保险的话我会用improve,当然你有把握的话当然可以拉their lives.

Also, what we cannot deny, 这里可以改为what we must admit,因为这个deny在上个自然段首句也用过了however,这里插入语用得还是不错的,要我的话可能会把however放在最前面,你这样写感觉更地道些 is that technology also threatens the quality of our lives. The introduction of nuclear weapons accounts for这个词组不错 great changes for human beings and military. However感觉经常用however不好,可以换yet, various allegations of resulting illness have also been made for many years. Thousands of persons have suffered from cancer because of public exposure to fallout in the world. Perhaps no event in biotechnology has caused more uproar and bioethicalbioethical这个词好像不存在,可以用ethical代替 discussion than the cloning of Dolly, whose birth also created a sensation in the press and caused a wave of anxiety over the prospects for cloning humans. 这句话引出例子的方式值得学习,很流畅

However, what technology has caused today havehas to be solved by technology itself. We cannot stop producing automobiles because of the pollution. Instead, we should figure out a solution to make cars that cannot contaminate the environment 你的意思是找到一个方法使汽车不能污染环境,但写法上好像不太好,可以改为we should figure out a solution to reduce the pollution brought by the cars, 是不是更流畅?or explore a new way to treat用deal with好些 the environmental problems. Also, internet crimes cannot allay our passion to explore the application of technology of communication and, on the contrary, appeal many educated people to devote themselves to the mission of a securer network. Especially, environmentally speaking, our predecessors, in the ancient time, did not know how to explore and utilize natural resources, which is a matter of waste rather than environmentalism这个词不是环境保护主义的意思,是环境保护论的意思. It is our increasing knowledge and experience that enable us to avail ourselves of nature, though inevitably accompanied with harm. Hence now不知道hence now这种写法可不可以 what we have to do is to excogitate a fresh way to keep the balance between human and nature, which is more complex and challenging.

We are facing numerous troubles when we celebrate our past success, which is a fact, not an illusion. But human beings are of wisdom, perception, imagination and creativity. We can always recognize our flaws and free our minds to exceed the boundaries of current technology, endeavoringendeavor,和can 相对 to improve our lives.最后这句也很流畅

总的来说,观点和论证都没有问题,语言也比较流畅,只是有些地方的用词可能还有点问题,也可能是我的水平原因呵呵
楼主的语言很好,有些我都收了背,真的是非常感谢!

rny82UID: 2293947

We are acquainted with real time events that happened all over the world.既然是real time最好时态一致吧。

rny82UID: 2293947

Also, what we cannot deny, however, is that technology also threatens the quality of our lives.我是明白楼主的意思，但是有个小小的问题想探讨，这种标志性很强的词，比如说also和however同时用会不会有些冒险？

rny82UID: 2293947

the cloning of Dolly，Dolly应该是那只克隆出来的羊，被克隆的那只不叫Dolly，是不是改成cloning sheep Dolly好些？

rny82UID: 2293947

However, what technology has caused today have to be solved by technology itself.又一个However，如此说来楼主的语气已经一转再转，不知道是不是我受模版的奴役太深，总感觉这样比较让读者难理解，不知道楼主有没有“苏明明”系列的电子书。

yuzhongwumeiUID: 2155222

有道理,下次注意
我特别喜欢however这个词,好象有强迫症~~