Argument147 同主题第二期，马上要考了多指教！

chronicleUID: 2254484

Argument147
The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."

In this argument, the arguer claims that the sales of Whirlwind video games would possibly increase dramatically in the next few months. To support this argument, the arguer cites the survey concerning what features the video games players prefer. It seems sound and reasonable at first glance, however, the sample volume and results of this survey are questionable.

First of all, the arguer cannot provide the clear number of the volunteers participate in this survey. If the sample volume is sufficient, the arguer would not be able to draw any valid conclusion by the survey. In addition, the age group of volunteers in the survey is not indicated by arguer. As a result, the arguer might omit the possibility that most volunteers who prefer the games with lifelike graphics are adults and would not play video games frequently. If it is the case, it would serve to undermine the arguer's claim.

In addition, assuming that the result of this survey is reliable statistically, the arguer cannot ensure that those people who prefer the games of lifelike graphic style would buy Whirlwind video games necessarily. The fact indicates that this sort of video games always require the most up-to-date computers, so these potential consumers would not be likely to promote their computers for the video games, and might try some other games which so not require so high level of the computer. And what's more, it is possible that those young men who are most likely to play video games could not afford the expensive cost of computers.

Finally, although the people at 10 to 25 year old would play video games most likely, the result of this survey, however, provides no evidence that these young men would prefer the video games with lifelike graphics. So it is entirely possible that the twenties might prefer the games with fierce graphics and competitive contents. What's more, the arguer fails to consider the market factors, which would influence the sales of video games. Are there some other agents to sell similar video games? And what is the price level people who prefer to this game could accept?

In conclusion, the arguer's claim that sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months is groundless. To make this argument more convincing, the arguer should provide clear evidence that these young men would buy Whirlwind video games actually.



[ 本帖最后由 chronicle 于 2007-2-9 15:04 编辑 ]

nkmatchUID: 2242521

1 调查样本的可靠性以及结果的正确性；
2 玩家可能承担不起高性能电脑的费用；
3 10to25 的人不一定就喜欢lifelike games，以及市场因素，包括其他商家的游戏

In this argument, the arguer claims that the sales of Whirlwind video games would possibly increase dramatically in the next few months. To support this argument, the arguer cites the survey concerning what features the video games players prefer. It seems sound and reasonable at first glance, however, the sample volume and results of this survey are questionable.
//开头字不多，不过主要信息都在。但是，to support this argu后面的句子是arguer用的原因么？应该是根据调研，得知什么特征的游戏比较有市场，然后推出新游戏的举措可以increase the sales of the video games.吧

First of all, the arguer cannot provide the clear number of the volunteers participate in this survey. If the sample volume is sufficient, the arguer would not be able to draw any valid conclusion by the survey. In addition, the age group of volunteers in the survey is not indicated by arguer. As a result, the arguer might omit the possibility that most volunteers who prefer the games with lifelike graphics are adults and would not play video games frequently. If it is the case, it would serve to undermine the arguer's claim.
//这一段显得很简练，觉得语言没有什么问题，可是应该可以充实一点。逻辑上，你的这段是：样本可能小，或者样本里的大多数不经常玩游戏。

In addition, assuming that the result of this survey is reliable statistically, the arguer cannot ensure that those people who prefer the games of lifelike graphic style would buy Whirlwind video games necessarily. The fact indicates that this sort of video games always require the most up-to-date computers, so these potential consumers would not be likely to promote their computers for the video games, and might try some other games which so not require so high level of the computer. And what's more, it is possible that those young men who are most likely to play video games could not afford the expensive cost of computers.
//逻辑上：即使调研结果为真---就是说大多数人喜欢lifelike graphics.   但是由于本类游戏要求配置较高，所以可能会影响玩家参与进来。
//           另外，由于竞争的关系，此类游戏也不一定会使产值增加


Finally, although the people at 10 to 25 year old would play video games most likely, the result of this survey, however, provides no evidence that these young men would prefer the video games with lifelike graphics. So it is entirely possible that the twenties might prefer the games with fierce graphics and competitive contents. What's more, the arguer fails to consider the market factors, which would influence the sales of video games. Are there some other agents to sell similar video games? And what is the price level people who prefer to this game could accept?
//说实话，单从这段来看，本身没有什么问题，不过跟前面如何衔接呢？ 而且它和第二个论点应该是并列关系吧，都是承认survey的结果后，//再演绎的。  所以第二个论点不用 In addition,用furthermore,第三个用in addition.


In conclusion, the arguer's claim that sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months is groundless. To make this argument more convincing, the arguer should provide clear evidence that these young men would buy Whirlwind video games actually.
//these young men? 个人觉得结尾不用约数好。


总体感觉，语言不错。不过这道题的逻辑上可以再考虑一下。

chronicleUID: 2254484

谢谢！

AnakinFoxeUID: 2277358

第一个论点，最后加上句“骂”arguer的话，指明他的错误（其实你在最后一句话已经提到了，只是没有指明他的错误的claim到底是什么）。这样这段就更加清晰明白，而不会给人种仅仅是在辩驳arguer没有提供足够的evidence的感觉（潜问句：没有提供证据又便如何呢？）。

第二个论点写得不错！

最后一个论点段里，我建议不要采用疑问或者反问句（事实上，通篇都不要采用最好），要不就给出对于这些问题的回答，否则会让人觉得（至少我觉得）你自己都不太清楚问题的答案。这在辩论中似乎不太合适。

至于三个论点的顺序和联系，我赞同nk的意见，前两者联系更紧密，而第三点更像是个补充，所以连接词要认真选择。