argument71 【米国有米】寒假第14天作业2－9

xwy8187UID: 2217620

TOPIC: ARGUMENT71 - Copper occurs in nature mixed with other minerals and valuable metals in ore, and the proportion of copper in the ore can vary considerably. Until fairly recently, the only way to extract pure copper from ore was by using a process that requires large amounts of electric energy, especially if the proportion of copper in the ore is low. New copper-extracting technologies can use up to 40 percent less electricity than the older method to process the same amount of raw ore, especially when the proportion of copper in the ore is high. Therefore, we can expect the amount of electricity used by the copper-extraction industry to decline significantly.
WORDS: 364          TIME: 0:30:00          DATE: 2007-2-9

The seemingly sound argument draw the conclustion that by using the new copper extracting technologies,we can expect the amount of electricity used by the copper-extraction industry to decline significantly.However,based on dubious evidence and illogical reasoning,the argument is far from perfect.

To begin with,the argument tells us that it is especially when the propotion of copper in the ore is high,the new copper extracting technologies can save more than 40 percent electricity than the old way.But it failed to indicate whether it can save the same amount of electricity when the new technologies are applyed to the poor copper ore.May be the amount of electricity consuming of the new extracting technologies would be no less than that of the old extracting way.Moreover,as the process of extracting continues,the proportion of copper in the ore will decrease too,which may make the new technology useless in case it can't save more electricity than the old way when the copper ore is poor.

Even if the new techonlogies are electricity saving in all kinds of ores,not matter it is high or low in the proporation of copper,it is hasty to deduce the conclustion that the new technologies deserve to be applied.Whether it will save electricity  or not is not the only perspective we must concern.Mire exploitation is a complex project.A lot of stuff must be concerned.Is the new technologies extract much less pure copper than the old wau?Will it destroy the other minerals and valuable metals in ore which can also be extracted?Besides,it is also possible that though electricity are saved,the new technologies conclude much more expensive instruments and chemistry compounds which are more finace-consuming.What's more,the new technologies may contaminate the enviorament around the copper ore.The argument failed to give detailed information about the technologies so that it is hard to assess the availability of them.

After careful consideration,the argument lacks sufficient evidence as well as precise reasoning to make a sound argument.The argument can be improved if the arguer provide more detailed evidence to prove that the new technologies are electricity saving in all kinds of conditions.The arguer also need to give all the attributes of the new technologies so as to assess the availability of them roundly.

blackswitchUID: 2110679

argument71 【米国有米】寒假第14天作业2－9
TOPIC: ARGUMENT71 - Copper occurs in nature mixed with other minerals and valuable metals in ore, and the proportion of copper in the ore can vary considerably. Until fairly recently, the only way to extract pure copper from ore was by using a process that requires large amounts of electric energy, especially if the proportion of copper in the ore is low. New copper-extracting technologies can use up to 40 percent less electricity than the older method to process the same amount of raw ore, especially when the proportion of copper in the ore is high. Therefore, we can expect the amount of electricity used by the copper-extraction industry to decline significantly.
WORDS: 364          TIME: 0:30:00          DATE: 2007-2-9

The seemingly sound argument draw the conclustionconclusion that by using the new copper extracting technologies,we这里用We指代觉得不客观 can expect the amount of electricity used by the copper-extraction industry to decline significantly.However, based on dubious evidence and illogical reasoning, the argument is far from perfect.

To begin with,the argument tells us that it is especially when the propotionproportion of copper in the ore is high, the new copper extracting technologies can save more than 40 percent electricity than the old way. But it failed to indicate whether it can save the same amount of electricity when the new technologies are applied to the poor copper ore.May be这里用It is entirely possible that 感觉更贴切些 the amount of electricity consuming of the new extracting technologies would be no less than that of the old extracting way. Moreover,as the process of extracting continues,the proportion of copper in the ore will decrease too,which may make the new technology useless in case it can't save more electricity than the old way when the copper ore is poor.

Even if the new techonlogies are electricity saving in all kinds of ores,not matter it is high or low in the proporation of copper ,it is hasty to deduce the conclustionconclusion that the new technologies deserve to be applied. Whether it will save electricity  or not is not the only perspective we must concern. Mire什么意思 exploitation is a complex project.A lot of stuff must be concerned.Is the new technologies extract much less pure copper than the old wau?Will it destroy the other minerals and valuable metals in ore which can also be extracted?Besides,it is also possible that though electricity are saved,the new technologies conclude much more expensive instruments and chemistry compounds which are more finace-consuming. What's more,the new technologies may contaminate the enviorament around the copper ore.The argument failed to give detailed information about the technologies so that it is hard to assess the availability of them.这段论证比较充分

After careful consideration,the argument lacks sufficient evidence as well as precise reasoning to make a sound argument.The argument can be improved if the arguer provide more detailed evidence to prove that the new technologies are electricity saving in all kinds of conditions.The arguer also need to give all the attributes of the new technologies so as to assess the availability of them roundly.
对题名的分析很全面，不错， 语言上还可以再提高