ARGUE2 【0706G－cheer作文互改小组第一次作业】

christine-sevenUID: 2132371

请猛烈批评吧！ 撒花~~

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In the letter sent by a committee of homeowners from the Deerhaven Acres, he recommended to all homeowners in Deerhaven Acres that they should adopt their own set of restrictions on landscaping and housekeeping, because their neighboring Brookville community has its average property value tripled since they adopted a set of restrictions on how the community's yard should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors homes should be painted seven years ago. However, I find this recommendation logically unconvincing in two different respects.

Firstly, the recommendation that the committee makes relies on the assumption that no other alternatives there are available in raising the average value of the Deerhaven Acres community. However, assumption is not reasonably supported as it stands. It is entirely possible that the appreciation of the property value in Brookville is not directly brought about by the set of restrictions on the exteriors decoration, but rather on other factors. For instance, perhaps a central business district was planned and under construction at the same time when the restrictions were introduced seven years ago, which contributes to the prosperous development of its community, and an ever-increasing raise in average property value; or perhaps there may be a newly booming tourist resort right beside the Brookville, which brings tens of thousands of holiday-takers to the community, thus exerts a strong impulse to its skyrocketing land value appreciation. In short, without ruling out other possibilities, the committee cannot confidently reassure the Deerhaven Acres' community that only by adopting their set of restriction which is similar to that of Brookville's, can they achieve a desired increase in land value.

From the other perspective, the committee also fails to support his assumption that by applying the analogous set of restrictions to Deerhaven community is sure to have its average property value raised, even though the land appreciation in Brookville is mainly result from this specific method. Admittedly, this successful method lends some support to the committee's recommendation; after all, a beautiful exterior environment of the whole community can impress everyone in many ways, thus has itself well publicized. However, what if the interior environment is not so well established? Perhaps Deerhaven Acres community has been long troubled by poorly-organized water and electricity system; or perhaps has always been disturbed by constantly high crime rate, etc: the recommendation of decoration and landscaping would do little to the appreciation of Deerhaven Acres' average land value.

To sum up, the committee overlooks many aspects in his recommendation to adopt a similar set of restrictions in order to boost an increase in average property value. To bolster his recommendation, he needs to provide clearer evidence to show that there are no alternative means available for achieving a desired land value increase, besides the set of restrictions adopted in nearby Brookville; also he needs further proof for his recommendation to convince us that only by adopting this method can Deerhaven Acres' homeowners have their property value raised.



DRAFTS
1. The committee’s recommendation lacks its support in two respects.
2. First, there are other means for Brookville community to have its land property value raised. For example: a CBD or a tourists resort in that region.
3. Second, only by adopting the similar restrictions can not surely lead to the desired raise of land value in Deerhaven. For instance: high crime rate in Deerhaven, or poorly-organized water and electricity system.

[ 本帖最后由 christine-seven 于 2007-2-11 18:25 编辑 ]

caiminUID: 2303220

This is a good argument with specific and typical examples. But please pay attention to the tense and model. And looking forward to your better argu!

In the letter sent by a committee of homeowners from the Deerhaven Acres, he recommended (they recommends) to all homeowners in Deerhaven Acres that they should adopt their own set of restrictions on landscaping and housekeeping, because their neighboring Brookville community has its average property value tripled (triple) since they adopted a set of restrictions on how the community's yard should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors homes should be painted seven years ago. However, I find this recommendation logically unconvincing in two different respects.Firstly, the recommendation that the committee makes relies on the assumption that no other alternatives there are available in raising the average property value of the Deerhaven Acres community. However, the assumption is not reasonably supported as it stands. It is entirely possible that the appreciation of the property value in Brookville is not directly brought about by the set of restrictions on the exteriors (exterior) decoration, but ratheron other factors. For instance, perhaps a central business district was planned and under constructionat the same timewhen the restrictions were introduced seven years ago, which contributes to the prosperous development of its community, and an ever-increasing raise in average property value; or perhaps there may be a newly booming tourist resort right beside the Brookville, which brings tens of thousands of holiday-takers to the community, thus exerts a strong impulse to its skyrocketing land value appreciation.(good examples) In short, without ruling out other possibilities, the committee cannot confidently reassure the Deerhaven Acres' community that only by adopting their set of restriction which is similar to that of Brookville's, can they achieve a desired increase in land value.From the other perspective, the committee also fails to support his (their) assumption that by applying the analogous set of restrictions to Deerhaven community is sure to have its average property value raised, even though the land appreciation in Brookville is mainly result (results) from this specific method. Admittedly, this successful method lends some support to the committee's recommendation; after all, a beautiful exterior environment of the whole community can impress everyone in many ways, thus has itself well publicized (need some improvement). However, what if the interior environment is not so well established? Perhaps Deerhaven Acres community has been long troubled by poorly-organized water and electricity system; or perhaps has always been disturbed by constantly high crime rate, etc: (,) the recommendation of decoration and landscaping would do little to the appreciation of Deerhaven Acres' average land value.To sum up, the committee overlooks many aspects in his (their) recommendation to adopt a similar set of restrictions in order to boost an increase in (boost) average property value. To bolster his recommendation, he needs to provide clearer evidence to show that there are no alternative means available for achieving a desired land value increase, besides the set of restrictions adopted in nearby Brookville (unnecessarily); also he needs further proof for his recommendation to convince us that only by adopting this method can Deerhaven Acres' homeowners have their property value raised.



[ 本帖最后由 caimin 于 2007-2-11 23:29 编辑 ]