ARGUMENT28 哈鸡帮涂鸦习作 还是第一次

disyooUID: 2223964

TOPIC: ARGUMENT28 - The following is a memo from the superintendent of the Mylar school district.

"A recent six-month study, in which breakfast was made available at school for 100 schoolchildren ages five to twelve, found that children on the breakfast plan were less likely than other children to be absent from or late for school. Clearly, eating breakfast before school plays a role in reducing student absenteeism and tardiness. It is also well known that children who regularly eat a healthful breakfast tend to perform better in school. Therefore, in order to reduce absenteeism and tardiness and to improve academic performance in all of Mylar's elementary and secondary schools, we should provide breakfasts for all students before each school day."
WORDS: 605          TIME: 0:55:26          DATE: 2007-2-22

In this argument, the author concludes that to reduce absenteeism and tardiness and to improve academic performance in all of Mylar's elementary and secondary schools, they should provide breakfast for all students before each school day. To support the conclusion, the author cites that a study shows that children who is served a breakfast plan were less likely than other children to be absent from or late for school. The author also points out that, the children who regularly eat a healthful breakfast tend to perform better in school. However, the author's argument relies on a series of unpersuasive stands, and is therefore unsubstantiated assumptions.

Firstly, the author attributes the less absenteeism and tardiness to the breakfast plan in the schoolchildren, but the author has no evidence to support his conclusion. It is surly that the children has less absent from and late for school in the study, but there are more reason which lead to a children be late for or absent from school. For example, a traffic jam in the morning, even if the children have enough food for breakfast, he will never except from the traffic jam on the way to school. Or by some objective reasons the children are likely to absent from school, such as play with friend, because of a long time study in school, one likes to choose to absent to play outside. So after all, it may be some other reasons that course the children be late for and absent from school less.

In addition, the author presents that all of Mylar's elementary and secondary schools (Ms) will also be less absenteeism and tardiness as the 100 school children ages five to twelve (100s) do in the study. It seems similar between Ms and 100s, but 100s is a poor indication to Ms. Firstly, the author fail to present the ages of Ms, are they belong to the group of 5-12 years old children? If not, the absenteeism and tardiness will not reduce by provide breakfast. Secondly, the environment background of the two group of children is not mentioned, if 100s are all living near the school and they all performance well in the study, but the Ms are living in the neighbor state of school and they are lazy in the morning, the breakfast plan will do hardly affection either. So providing breakfast will do no use to reduce absenteeism and tardiness in Mylar’s elementary and secondary schools.

Finally, the author has no evidence to support that children will perform better in school if they eat a healthful breakfast. It is true that a wonderful breakfast is good for the health of children, but does it mean the children will do better in school? Whether they perform well or not is depend on their hard work. For example, a hard work may be coursed by interesting, a child will fall in love what he learn by interested in it even if he does not have his breakfast. Or, it is also possible that a child fail to study even if he has a healthy breakfast, he may sleep on class or think other subjects in the school. So it is impossible to say that a child who eat a healthy breakfast will tend to perform better in school.

In sum, the author can not support his conclusion in the argument, to strengthen the argument, the author should cites more evidence to support his conclusion that the breakfast plan in the schoolchildren lead to less absenteeism and tardiness and that can make a child perform better in school. The author should also cite more information to similar cases of the Ms and 100s, in this way the Mylar will reduce absenteeism and tardiness in school as the study shows.

[ 本帖最后由 disyoo 于 2007-2-23 23:27 编辑 ]

tntwcUID: 2305112

最后一段有点跑题的感觉

tntwcUID: 2305112

不好意思~发错了~

hischildUID: 2143480

字太小了，看着好费力....