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kexinyupiaoUID: 2250204

TOPIC: ISSUE11 - "All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems."
WORDS: 568          TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 2007-2-24

错误单词（大量）、语法已修改，未计时
基本同意题中观点：
（1）       赞同：全球化趋势，不同国家学生带来不同视角
（2）       要考虑的：不同国家学生之间的纷争
决定研究方向、课题
重视全球化问题而忽略地区问题

With the increasing evidence of globalization, more and more problems pressing our society today are not confined in a certain country. It is, therefore, of great merits to establish and support a global university by all nations aimed at solving the world's most persistent social problems. However, there are still some items calling for much attention or else may undermine the objectives of the global university.

The greatest reason for my agreement with the speaker's claim that a global university is necessary for solving pressing social problems today is that as the acceleration of globalization, more and more problems are becoming of global nature. To look for empirical evidence, no needs to look no further than the pollution of environment today. The contamination is not confined to a certain areas; the deforestation and the deposition of disused gases and water have already do harm to the health of not only human beings but also other species. Besides, the greenhouse gases have warmed the earth to the point that it is threatening the very survival of human beings as a species. Moreover, as the development industrialization, the world has been witness to a surge of numbers of multination corporations, which rely on other countries for raw materials, labor force and consumer market. All of these stated above pose the necessity of a global university which can partly solve some global problems by making the most of our intellects today.

And one benefit with the global university is that as students in the university are coming from different cultures and society systems, based on their different education background and notions, they can come up with various perspectives when encounter certain problems. Such a myriad of perspectives will no doubt be helpful to solve these global problems or at least alleviate the consequences. However, going hand in hand with this benefit is the danger of crisis or even chaos in the university. As we all know, different perspectives and opinions can give birth to contentions and disputations, which may rise to the extent that they might undermine the very objective of the global university. It is, therefore, necessary for the administration of the university to keep an eye on the possibility by cultivating the collective sense of tolerance, equity, justice, and liberty, in that undue contentions can not solve the most pressing problems but actually create new problems.

Moreover, another problem calling attention of the global university is the decision of research subjects or directions. Among so many social problems which ones range in our list of priority? And, who will make the final decisions? By what means is it to undertake the researches? All these cited questions together with a myriad of not-mentioned questions needs to be considered comprehensively and seriously. Moreover, placing undue emphasis on global problems may lead to de-emphasis on local or national problems which may be also crucial to ensure the well-being of the society. Thus, the leaders should highlight the global problems together with local ones in order to avoid unwelcomed consequences.

To sum up, a global university has a number of merits and demerits in itself.  However, as long as the administration can handle well the potential problems which may otherwise undermine the ultimate goals, in my point of view, such a global university will go a long way towards solving the world's most persistent social problems. That is, then, I fundamentally agree with the speaker.

kexinyupiaoUID: 2250204

病了N久，打起精神
自己改
TOPIC: ISSUE11 - "All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems."
WORDS: 568          TIME: 0:42:00          DATE: 2007-2-24
错误单词（大量）、语法已修改，未计时
基本同意题中观点：
（1） 赞同：全球化趋势，不同国家学生带来不同视角
（2） 要考虑的：不同国家学生之间的纷争
决定研究方向、课题
重视全球化问题而忽略地区问题
With the increasing evidence 改为trend of globalization, more and more problems pressing our society today are not confined in a certain country. It is, therefore, of great merits to establish and support a global university by all nations aimed at solving改为in order to solve the world's most persistent social problems. However, there are still some items改为respects calling for much改为sufficient attention or else may undermine the objectives of the global university.

The greatest reason for my agreement with the speaker's claim that a global university is necessary for solving pressing social problems today is that as the acceleration改为increasing trend of globalization, more and more去掉 problems are becoming of global nature. To look for empirical evidence, no改为one needs to look no further than the pollution of environment today. The contamination of water is not confined to a certain areas改为area; the deforestation and the undue deposition of disused gases and water have already do改为done harm to the health of not only human beings but also other species. Besides, the greenhouse gases have warmed the earth to the point that it is threatening the very survival of human beings as a species. Moreover, as the development industrialization, the world has been witness to a surge of numbers of multination corporations, which rely on other countries for raw materials, labor force and consumer market. All of these stated above pose the necessity of a global university which can partly solve some global problems by making the most of our intellects today all over the world.

And one evident benefit with the global university is that as students in the university are coming from different cultures and society systems, based on their different educational backgrounds and notions, they can come up with various perspectives when encounter certain problems. Such a myriad of perspectives will no doubt be helpful to solve these global problems or at least alleviate the consequences.
重起一段However, going hand in hand with this benefit is the danger of crisis or even chaos in the university. As we all know, different perspectives and opinions can give birth to contentions and disputations, which may rise改为go further to the extent that they指代不清，改为these disputations might undermine the very objectives of the global university. It is, therefore, necessary for the administration改为administrators of the university to keep an eye on the possibility改为potential problem by cultivating the collective sense of tolerance, equity, justice, and liberty, in that undue contentions can not solve the most pressing problems but actually create new problems改为ones.

Moreover, another problem calling attention of the administrators of the global university is the改为concerning the decisions of改为about research subjects or directions. Among改为For instance, among so many social problems which ones range in our list of priority不确定这个用法? And, who will make the final decisions? By what means is it改为are they to undertake the researches? All these cited questions together with a myriad of not-mentioned questions needs改为need to be considered comprehensively and seriously. Moreover, placing undue emphasis on global problems may lead to de-emphasis on local or national problems which may be also crucial to ensure the well-being of the society. Thus, the leaders should highlight the global problems together with local ones in order to avoid unwelcomed consequences.

To sum up, a global university has a number of merits and demerits in itself.  However, as long as the administration can handle well the potential problems which may otherwise undermine the ultimate goals, in my point of view, such a global university will go a long way towards solving the world's most persistent social problems. That is, then, I fundamentally agree with the speaker.

[ 本帖最后由 kexinyupiao 于 2007-2-27 23:02 编辑 ]

shuwenyingUID: 2233183

TOPIC: ISSUE11 - "All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems."
WORDS: 568          TIME: 0:42:00          DATE: 2007-2-24
错误单词（大量）、语法已修改，未计时
基本同意题中观点：
（1） 赞同：全球化趋势，不同国家学生带来不同视角
（2） 要考虑的：不同国家学生之间的纷争
决定研究方向、课题
重视全球化问题而忽略地区问题
With the increasing evidence 改为trend 仍然有点奇怪，trend能够increase? 想不出什么动词比较好，建议改成currentof globalization, more and more problems pressing our society today are not confined in a certain country. It is, therefore, of great merits to establish and support a global university by all nations aimed at solving改为in order to solve the world's most persistent social problems. However, there are still some items改为respects calling for much改为sufficient attention or else may undermine the objectives of the global university.
The greatest reason比较少见，不如变成“最重要的” for my agreement with the speaker's claim that a global university is necessary for solving pressing social problems today is that as the acceleration改为increasing trend of globalization, more and more去掉 problems are becoming of global nature. 套的从句稍多了点，以前别人建议我TS简洁为好，因为TS往往是统领整段的To look for empirical evidence, no改为one needs to look no further than the pollution of environment today. The contamination of water is not confined to a certain areas改为area; the deforestation and the undue deposition of disused gases and water have already do改为done harm to the health of not only human beings but also other species. Besides, the greenhouse gases have warmed the earth to the point that it is threatening the very survival of human beings as a species. 这里的例子用的都很好，只是建议这里再突出一下“不仅危害污染源当地人的健康，还危害其他地方的人的健康”这种意思，会更好一些Moreover, as the development industrialization, the world has been witness to a surge of numbers of multination corporations,读起来有点不顺～可能太多of短语了 which rely on other countries for raw materials, labor force and consumer market. All of these stated above pose the necessity of a global university which can partly solve some global problems by making the most of our intellects today all over the world. 这段总体挺好的，只是某些句子从句和Of套的太多了，在of比较多的时候建议采用同义的、无Of的短语
And one evident obvious好点 benefit with the global university is that as students in the university are coming from different cultures and society systems, based on their different educational backgrounds and notions, they can come up with various perspectives when encounter certain problems. Such a myriad of perspectives will no doubt be helpful to solve these global problems or at least alleviate the consequences.
重起一段However, going hand in hand with this benefit is the danger of crisis or even chaos in the university. As we all know, different perspectives and opinions can give birth to contentions and disputations, which may rise改为go further to the extent that they指代不清，改为these disputations might undermine the very objectives of the global university. It is, therefore, necessary for the administration改为administrators of the university to keep an eye on the possibility改为potential problem by cultivating the collective sense of tolerance, equity, justice, and liberty, in that undue contentions can not solve the most pressing problems but actually create new problems改为ones. keep an eye on … by…这样用有点怪，by 后面表示一种方法，这句话变成”通过这些方法来注意某个问题’。  “通过某种方法防止某某问题”会不会好点？
Moreover, another problem calling attention of the administrators of the global university is the改为concerning the decisions of改为about research subjects or directions. Among改为For instance, among so many social problems which ones range in our list of priority不确定这个用法? 我能确定的是take priority on，其他不敢说啊～And, who will make the final decisions? By what means is it改为are they to undertake the researches? All these cited questions together with a myriad of not-mentioned questions needs改为need to be considered comprehensively and seriously. Moreover, placing undue emphasis on global problems may lead to de-emphasis on local or national problems which may be also crucial to ensure the well-being of the society. Thus, the leaders should highlight the global problems together with local ones in order to avoid unwelcomed consequences.
To sum up, a global university has a number of merits and demerits in itself.  However, as long as the administration can handle well the potential problems which may otherwise undermine the ultimate goals, in my point of view, such a global university will go a long way towards solving the world's most persistent social problems. That is, then, I fundamentally agree with the speaker.
回拍晚了，对不起啊～天气变化太剧烈，前几天感冒发烧了
总体感觉还挺好的，只是多留意一下嵌套的就构，如从句和of 稍稍简化一下，有助于表达清晰
都快考了，一起加油～～