ISSUE83 【天下无G askme习作】第19次作业

askmeUID: 2264776

TOPIC: ISSUE83 - "Government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state, even though these areas are often extremely remote and thus accessible to only a few people."
WORDS: 719          TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 2007-2-24

Nowadays, people are growing concerned about environment. It, hence, often causes debates and most of them are over the issue: whether or not government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state even though they are extremely remote. I agree that it is government's duty to protect these areas insofar as these areas are quite important for humans. Besides, there is good sense in encouraging all citizens to collaborate to protect them and using them as natural parks.

To begin with, we all will benefit from protecting the publicly owned wilderness areas. It is universally acknowledged that most of precious kinds of animals and plants inhabit at these areas and that a majority of forest grow there. Both these creatures and forests are important for humans to undertake scientific researches and to live a healthy life. Thus, it is necessary for us to protect and make good use of them. To scientists, especially biologists, precious kinds of animals and plants living in wilderness areas are significant scientific materials. It is these areas that give animals and plants home. Were it not for these areas, these animals and plants would die out and humans, especially scientists, would suffer from the great loss of scientific materials. What's more, there areas are equally important to common people. As we know, most of oxygen we breathe comes from forest in these wilderness areas. Only when there are enough wilderness areas for forest to grow, we are able to continue our breathing. Without them, our world will soon turn to be inferno. As a result, everyone who cares about development of science and humans' health should ask government to preserve these wilderness areas.

Furthermore, even though some areas are too remote for humans to access, it is also necessary to protect them. While it is true that these areas appear to have little or nothing to do with our daily lives and many people suggest that these areas can be used to bury rubbish, yet, whatever else might be said, most people agree that everything in our environment relates to each other according to 'the Butterfly Effects'. That is to say, anything, happening somewhere, will exert profound influence effect on us. Thus, the degeneration in quality of environment in these wilderness areas might have negative influence all over the world. For supporting examples, one need look no further than deforestation in Amazon. Although these forests are far away from where we live, the negative effect of deforestation--the greenhouse effect--causes acid rains, storms and death of amounts of plants, all of these interrupt our normal lives and impede our development. Should government cared about the preservation of Amazon forest, hardly would these tragedies happen. Thereupon, we should also preserve these remote wilderness areas.

Besides, to better preserve these areas, aside from the effort of government, we should encourage all citizens to participate in this campaign. As a general rule, protect environment is a extremely complex project, requiring tremendous effort of all people. Only relying on government, the effect might be too limited to satisfy us. To protect environment, the most necessary part of protecting is keep these areas from those who hunt precious animals and cut trees at will. Because the wilderness areas are too wide for custodians from government to oversee, it is necessary to call on people living around these areas to help. Without their effort, these areas cannot be truly and efficiently protected. As a result, we, as environment protectors, should give a hand to this significant but complex project.

Finally, it is not that these wilderness areas remain natural state, but that government can use them as natural parks. For one thing, it can raise enough money to protect these areas. For another thing, it will bring about people's interest in protecting environment. For example, Yellowstone National Park in America, a piece of wilderness area, has been set up as a national park and been much better than what it looked like before. As a result, there is good sense in using these areas as natural parks rather than leaving them alone.

To sum up, because wilderness areas, even remote, are close to our breath and everyday lives, our government should spare no effort to protect these areas. Meanwhile, it is our duty to devote ourselves to this project.

lindorUID: 2290025

..........................真长啊....
拖下来都觉得眼昏...
明天再看..

lindorUID: 2290025

TOPIC: ISSUE83 - "Government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state, even though these areas are often extremely remote and thus accessible to only a few people."WORDS: 719          TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 2007-2-24Nowadays, people are growing concerned about environment. It, hence, often causes debates and most of them are over the issue: whether or not government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state even though they are extremely remote. I agree that it is government's duty to protect these areas insofar as these areas are quite important for humans. Besides, there is good sense in encouraging all citizens to collaborate to protect them and using them as natural parks.

呀…这开头怎么越看越象啊

To begin with, we all will benefit from protecting the publicly owned wilderness areas. It is universally acknowledged that most of precious kinds of animals and plants inhabit at these areas and that a majority of forest grow there. Both these creatures and forests are important for humans to undertake scientific researches and to live a healthy life. Thus, it is necessary for us to protect and make good use of them. To scientists, especially biologists, precious kinds of animals and plants living in wilderness areas are significant scientific materials. It is these areas that give animals and plants home. Were it not for these areas, these animals and plants would die out and humans, especially scientists, would suffer from the great loss of scientific materials. 这里有点啰嗦,和前面的联系也不是很紧 What's more, there areas are equally important to common people. As we know, most of oxygen we breathe comes from forest in these wilderness areas. Only when there are enough wilderness areas for forest to grow, we are able to continue our breathing. Without them, our world will soon turn to be inferno. As a result, everyone who cares about development of science and humans' health should ask government to preserve these wilderness areas.

wilderness areas的重要性: 1) precious kinds of animals and plants, scientists来做研究, 2)大片森林可以produce oxygen. (其实wilderness areas也是可以没有什么forest的吧, 不全是jungle啊. 大部分氧气真的而是从哪里来的?那个only when是不是绝对了一点啊)

Furthermore, even though some areas are too remote for humans to access, it is also necessary to protect them. While it is true that these areas appear to have little or nothing to do with our daily lives and many people suggest that these areas can be used to bury rubbish, yet, whatever else might be said, most people agree that everything in our environment relates to each other according to 'the Butterfly Effects'. That is to say, anything, happening somewhere, will exert profound influence effect (这两个词用一个就行了吧) on us. Thus, the degeneration in quality (这个概念是怎么来的?为什么会有degeneration, 你的protect也没有解释, 要protect什么?)of environment in these wilderness areas might have negative influence all over the world. For supporting examples, one needs (你这里从来没有加s过..难道句型是这样的?) look no further than deforestation in Amazon. Although these forests are far away from where we live, the negative effect of deforestation--the greenhouse effect--causes acid rains, storms and death of amounts of plants, all of these interrupt our normal lives and impede our development(跟development怎么联系上的). Should government cared about the preservation of Amazon forest, hardly would these tragedies happen. Thereupon, we should also preserve these remote wilderness areas.

很remote的地方也要保护. 1) 远,和人们的日常生活也有关系, butterfly effects.这个切入点很不错

2) 不加以保护的后果,举例认证: Amazon 的deforestation

我觉得啊,protect和preserve.. in natural state还是有点点区别的, the former 太笼统, the latter 具体一些.

Besides, to better preserve these areas, aside from the effort of government, we should encourage all citizens to participate in this campaign. As a general rule, protect environment is an extremely complex project, requiring tremendous effort of all people. Only relying on government, the effect might be too limited to satisfy us. To protect environment, the most necessary part of protecting is keep these areas from those who hunt precious animals and cut trees at will. Because the wilderness areas are too wide for custodians from government to oversee, it is necessary to call on people living around these areas to help. Without their effort, these areas cannot be truly and efficiently protected. As a result, we, as environment protectors, should give a hand to this significant but complex project.

1.      保护环境很复杂, 光靠government不行,因为太远.

2.      要avoid个人或者某个公司进行破坏, 要靠住在周围的人帮忙.

不是很远么,人迹罕至的地方,这些周围的居民是否有能力保护? 那么we可以怎么帮忙? 换成government和people合作,government制定rules, people obey strictly, 并且resist illegal的从哪些wilderness出来的东东.. 可能思路通顺一些.

Finally, it is not that these wilderness areas remain natural state, but that government can use them as natural parks. For one thing, it can raise enough money to protect these areas. For another thing, it will bring about people's interest in protecting environment. For example, Yellowstone National Park in America, a piece of wilderness area, has been set up as a national park and been much better than what it looked like before. As a result, there is good sense in using these areas as natural parks rather than leaving them alone.

不是remain natural state, 而是开发成natural parks… 终于提到make good use of them的方式了.

1 提高收入 -- > 保护这些地方. 2 加工之后,变得更美.

To sum up, because wilderness areas, even remote, are close to our breath and everyday lives, our government should spare no effort to protect these areas. Meanwhile, it is our duty to devote ourselves to this project.

前面提哪些wilderness area的重要性的时候, 始终没有直接提protect的方式. 到底才算protect他们? in natural states 有没有用?

你把题目写泛了, 可以再精悍一些

[ 本帖最后由 lindor 于 2007-2-25 11:05 编辑 ]

jacanaUID: 2292520

Nowadays, people are growing concerned about environment. It, hence, often causes debates and most of them are over the issue: whether or not government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state even though they are extremely remote. I agree that it is government's duty to protect these areas insofar as these areas are quite important for humans. Besides, there is good sense in encouraging all citizens to collaborate to protect them and using them as natural parks.

To begin with, we all will benefit from protecting the publicly owned wilderness areas. It is universally acknowledged that most of precious kinds of animals and plants inhabit at these areas and that a majority of forest grow there. (这个有点绝对阿，你说得好象是森林……人家wildness也可能有其他情况嘛，像大西北)Both these creatures and forests are important for humans to undertake scientific researches and to live a healthy life. Thus, it is necessary for us to protect and make good use of them. To scientists, especially biologists, precious kinds of animals and plants living in wilderness areas are significant scientific materials. It is these areas that give animals and plants home. Were it not for these areas, these animals and plants would die out and humans, especially scientists, would suffer from the great loss of scientific materials. What's more, there areas are equally important to common people. As we know, most of oxygen we breathe comes from forest in these wilderness areas. Only when there are enough wilderness areas for forest to grow, we are able to continue our breathing. Without them, our world will soon turn to be inferno. As a result, everyone who cares about development of science and humans' health should ask government to preserve these wilderness areas.

Furthermore, even though some areas are too remote for humans to access, it is also necessary to protect them. While it is true that these areas appear to have little or nothing to do with our daily lives and many people suggest that these areas can be used to bury rubbish, yet, whatever else might be said, most people agree that everything in our environment relates to each other according to 'the Butterfly Effects'. That is to say, anything, happening somewhere, will exert profound influence effect on us. Thus, the degeneration in quality of environment in these wilderness areas might have negative influence all over the world. For supporting examples, one need look no further than deforestation in Amazon. Although these forests are far away from where we live, the negative effect of deforestation--the greenhouse effect--causes acid rains, storms and death of amounts of plants, all of these interrupt our normal lives and impede our development. Should government cared about the preservation of Amazon forest, hardly would these tragedies happen. Thereupon, we should also preserve these remote wilderness areas.
题目中though these areas are often extremely remote and thus accessible to only a few people. 似乎更多是强调地理位置的偏远而非影响上的微不足道，就算强调后者，似乎也应该提一下前者吧

Besides, to better preserve these areas, aside from the effort of government, we should encourage all citizens to participate in this campaign. As a general rule, protect environment is a extremely complex project, requiring tremendous effort of all people. Only relying on government, the effect might be too limited to satisfy us. To protect environment, the most necessary part of protecting is keep these areas from those who hunt precious animals and cut trees at will. Because the wilderness areas are too wide for custodians from government to oversee, it is necessary to call on people living around these areas to help. Without their effort, these areas cannot be truly and efficiently protected. As a result, we, as environment protectors, should give a hand to this significant but complex project.

Finally, it is not that these wilderness areas remain natural state, but that government can use them as natural parks. For one thing, it can raise enough money to protect these areas. For another thing, it will bring about people's interest in protecting environment. For example, Yellowstone National Park in America, a piece of wilderness area, has been set up as a national park and been much better than what it looked like before. As a result, there is good sense in using these areas as natural parks rather than leaving them alone.

To sum up, because wilderness areas, even remote, are close to our breath and everyday lives, our government should spare no effort to protect these areas. Meanwhile, it is our duty to devote ourselves to this project.

整个文章感觉有点冗长，但字数多也绝对不坏咯
但我觉得还是要弄清楚几个词 wildness remote,我也有点混乱，但感觉你的理解有点偏呢
另外body最后两段在逻辑上不太通顺，先说要大家一起保护，又说政府需要制定何种方案。我觉得preserve的定义是不是可以放到开头说？