argument147 [076G飞跃小组]cager第一次作业

cagerUID: 2267706

147.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."

word: 467

An editorial claims that the sales of Whirlwind video games will rise in the next few months. To support the claim, the editorial cites some facts as following: (1) the product of Whirlwind agree with the outcome of a survey which asks players what features are most important in games; (2) Whirlwind has introduced several such games to the people whose age are from 10 to 25 with lots of advertisement. Close scrutiny of these facts, leads to several flaws of the argument.

The editorial unfairly assumes that the sales of the Whirlwind video games will reverse. Although the survey shows that players are fonder of games which require the most up-to-date computers than others, it does not necessarily indicate that that type of game is good sales in market. Perhaps players just like them while they can not afford them because of the high price of device. For that matter, the survey does not meet the demands of the Whirlwind. Moreover, the arguer dose not offer enough information of the survey. We do not know any information of the scale and object of the survey and so on. It is entirely possible that the survey is not reasonable at all.

There is no evidence that the advertisement will work for the reverse of the sales of the Whirlwind video games. Although the age-group, 10 to 25 years old, is most likely to play video games, it is possible that the main customs of the Whirlwind are just them. In that case, no matter how perfect the advertisement is, the customs will not increase more, and the advertisement should turn to players of other age sections. Besides, even if the object of the advertisement is proper, whether or not the advertisement can be successful is still a doubt. The argument can not convince me until it provides enough evidences.

Furthermore, even though the points above do not have any problems, the argument will not be credible, if these things are not considered as following: (1) the price of Whirlpool’s product and the purchasing power of people, if people can not afford the product of Whirlpool, it seems impossible that the sales of Whirlwind will reverse. (2) Whether people may buy video games of Whirlwind or not. Perhaps there are companies which offer cheaper product and better service. People will still not buy the product of Whirlwind.

In sum, I am not convinced that the sales of the Whirlwind will reverse, if the arguer does not provide enough evidences. The argument should offer more information of the survey and the advertisement to prove they are effective for sales rising. Whirlwind should think about all aspects of itself, such as service, price, quality and so on. Besides, the company could consider sales of other product to achieve its reverse.

joyce8512UID: 2263806

"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."

word: 467

An editorial claims that the sales of Whirlwind video games will rise in the next few months. To support the claim, the editorial cites some facts as following: (1) the product of Whirlwind agree with the outcome of a survey which asks players what features are most important in games; (2) Whirlwind has introduced several such games to the people whose age are from 10 to 25 with lots of advertisement. Close scrutiny of these facts, leads to several flaws of the argument.

The editorial unfairly assumes that the sales of the Whirlwind video games will reverse. Although the survey shows that players are fonder of (be fond of是固定词组，好像不能这样用比较级的，我也不确定~)games which require the most up-to-date computers than others, it does not necessarily indicate that that （两个that一起后者指代不清，可用从句，the type of game which is…）type of game is good sales in market. Perhaps players just like them while they can not afford them because of the high price of device. For that matter, the survey does not meet the demands of the Whirlwind. Moreover, the arguer dose not offer enough information of the survey. We do not know any information of the scale and object of the survey and so on. It is entirely possible that the survey is not reasonable at all.

(这里最好用个连词，还有第一段首，显得逻辑更清晰)There is no evidence that the advertisement will work for the reverse of the sales of the Whirlwind video games. Although the age-group, 10 to 25 years old, is most likely to play video games, it is possible that the main customs of the Whirlwind are just them. In that case, no matter how perfect the advertisement is, the customs will not increase more, and the advertisement should turn to players of other age sections. Besides, even if the object of the advertisement is proper, whether or not the advertisement can be successful is still a doubt.（用open to doubt更好） The argument can not convince me until it provides enough evidences.

Furthermore, even though the points above do not have any problems, the argument will not be credible, if these things are not considered as following: (1) the price of Whirlpool’s product and the purchasing power of people, if people can not afford the product of Whirlpool, it seems impossible that the sales of Whirlwind will reverse. (2) Whether people may buy video games of Whirlwind or not. Perhaps there are companies which offer cheaper product and better service. People will still not buy the product of Whirlwind.

In sum, I am not convinced that the sales of the Whirlwind will reverse, if the arguer does not provide enough evidences. The argument should offer more information of the survey and the advertisement to prove they are effective for sales rising. Whirlwind should think about all aspects of itself, such as service, price, quality and so on（上面用过这个啦，这个换个用，etc./and so forth）. Besides, the company could consider sales of other products to achieve its reverse.

还是羡慕你的字数，哇哇~~~
我觉得你的argu已经没有问题了，论证和分析都很到位~

hischildUID: 2143480

写鸟多长时间？

cagerUID: 2267706

:mad: 超时很多

hischildUID: 2143480

么么~~~一样一样！处女作？
我明天来拍你，今天的作业还没写.....