issue51 <aspire小组>第十一次作业

kooyiiUID: 2177986

ISSUE51 - "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

1.兴趣对教育的效率很重要.
2.实现有难度,而且不高效
3.学生兴趣跟教育目的的冲突
By scrutinizing various dimensions of the speaker's contention, I would agree that afford different courses to each student could make them truly educated. But this is only reason why students should "take course in a variety of disciplines they are interest", rather than concentrate on "the education to meet the individual needs and interest of each student is truly effective".

Admittedly, interest is the best teacher. Psychologists have proved that interest and curiosity are significant factors to motivate people to continue a certain career. When courses are set to meet the needs and interests of students, they will be push to study hard and well. Undoubtedly, all students will have strong auto motivation to choose those they are interested in, for the reason that they are aspire after knowledge which they had pay more attention. Similarly, when we desire to learn something, although it is very difficult, we can understand it easily. On the contrary, one may lose his characteristic under a strictly uniformed education environment. As we know, many children have his own talent on different field, like music, art, dance, mathematics, physics and so forth, however, most of them lose their curiosity while they have to spent more time to deal with the compulsory courses.

However, although there are many advantages when education meets “each” student’s needs, sometimes it is difficult to achieve because of the limitation of current education system--that too much students share little resource. The objective to explore each student's interests and meet everyone's needs which require a plethora of energy, time and money will increase the burden of educators and the whole society. Even if educators devote to fulfill this objective, they also can not completely guarantee we can effectively meet each student's interests and needs.

What's more, the aim of education is not to adapt the interests and needs of student, but provide useful person with ability to the whole society. What education do is to harmonize the contradiction between student's interest and needs of society. The truly effective education is to discover the student's interest, lead their interest to connect with social need and what's more  broaden their vision as large as possible. It brings no benefits to them if they receive the education which specially designed according to their will.

Weighing all the points above, it draws on us that education which student choose their needs and interests to learn seems ineffective, that's to say, it is unrealistic for the government or the society to carry out this policy.

限时,写了一个小时(开头结尾都是直接套模版上的),写完后一查十几个错误~而且感觉各段都有跑观点的嫌疑~
望指正!

seven741UID: 2260128

By scrutinizing various dimensions of the speaker's contention, I would agree that afford different courses to each student could make them truly educated. But this is [加the] only reason why students should "take course in a variety of disciplines they are interest[ed in]", rather than concentrate on "the education to meet the individual needs and interest of each student is truly effective".[第一段的意思好像偏题了吧，教育制度不等于课程啊。]

Admittedly, interest is the best teacher. Psychologists have proved that interest and curiosity are significant factors to motivate people to continue[follow,或者stick to] a certain career. When courses are set to meet the needs and interests of students, they will be push[ed] to study hard and well. Undoubtedly, all students will have strong auto motivation[改:inherent nature] to choose those they are interested in, for the reason that they are aspire[ed] after knowledge [加to]which they had pay more attention.[前面这句句子意思没写清楚] Similarly, when we desire to learn something, although it is very difficult, we can understand it easily.[这句写成：When we are driven by our interest to learn something which may seem difficult at the early stage, we are likely to make it easy to us through persistent efforts.] On the contrary, one may lose his characteristic under a strictly uniformed education environment. As we know, many children have his own talent on different field, like music, art, dance, mathematics, physics and so forth, however, most of them lose their curiosity while they have to spent more time to deal with the compulsory courses.[说这些的时候，老外常用maybe、possible等，因为你没有事实来说明。][这一段的说理总觉得没有说服力，没怎么说到点子上。]

However, although there are many advantages when education meets “each” student’s needs, sometimes it[指代不清] is difficult to achieve because of the limitation of current education system--that too much students share little resource. The objective to explore each student's interests and meet everyone's needs which require a plethora of energy, time and money will increase the burden of educators and the whole society. Even if educators devote [themselves] to fulfill[ing] this objective, they also can not completely guarantee we can effectively meet each student's interests and needs.

What's more, the aim of education is not to adapt the interests and needs of student, but provide useful person with ability[改：able person with specific skills] to the whole society. What education do[es] is to harmonize the contradiction between student's interest and needs of society. The truly effective education is to discover the student's interest, lead their interest to connect with social need and what's more [-- to]  broaden their vision as large as possible. It brings no benefits to them if they receive the education which specially designed according to their will.

Weighing all the points above, it draws on us that education [in] which student choose their needs and interests to learn[???learn needs?搭配有错] seems ineffective, that's to say, it is unrealistic for the government or the society to carry out this policy.

帮你改了一些错误出来，还有些不太好改。
评：
1）.一个很重的问题，你说话要学美国人婉转，要多用possible、likely这些词，少用肯定语气；
2）.感觉你的语言还没到位啊，要看看别人的文章找找感觉；
3). 叙述展开不是很充分，提纲列的时候要尽量详细一点，否则就是在begging argument。
4). 意见仅供参考。