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发表于 2007-3-12 07:09:40
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ISSUE3
"It is more important toallocate money for immediate, existing social problems than to spend iton long-term research that might help future generations."
I fundamentally agree withthe speaker that to allocate money for immediate, existing socialproblems is more important than to spend it on long-lerm research thatmight help future generations.(感觉这么说就完全否定第2段了,给点余地吧)
It is true that thegovernment should pay for some long-term studies, which our futuregenerations could benefit from. These studies should be focus on eithersome significant themes(感觉比太合适,换个别的吧,例如project, study) of our lives and societies, includingenvironmental protection, space exploitation, resource saving and so onor some successive research in scientific fields like physics,chemistry, biology, astronomy and etc. Some of the problems which arenot so serious today, may become too severe to survive(Problem survive?) from in thefuture. Therefore, it is too late for us to reach the moment that(是不是when?) thesituation could not be saved any more. For example, although thepopulation can be contained by the earth, there might be some day thatno more room for another person to stand on the ground, so we shouldtry to establish a space station from now on. And also, some researchin physics, chemistry and biology may seem to be useless right now, butperhaps they will play an important role in future development ofmedicine and survive a great numbers of people who suffered from adeadly disease.(这两个例子行)
However, we should pay moreattention to the existing problems and allocate more money on solvingthem for the reason that the demand for solving the existing problemsis far greater than that of studying the long-term ones that mighthelp future generations(感觉主题句太长了,我一遍没反应过来,不知道老美会怎么想). Our society is such a fast developing one thatmany problems will appear at the same time, for example, theunemployment, the poverty, the lack of food supplies, the AIDS, thebird flu and etc., all of which are likely to cause a socialearthquake. In terms of the government, if it pays less to solve thepresent social problems, it will receive the civil resistance, becausethese problems tend to be more sensitive to the mass.
Moreover, it is undeservingof spending lots of money on a predictive thing which we cannot evenmake sure whether it will take place, because what we could see clearlyis just what has happened rather than what will happen. Comparing twostudies, one is about how the solar system will evolve after 4.5billion years, while the other is about how we can reduce theunemployment, it is no doubt, by an average view, that the latterappears more tough to the citizens and should be operated immediately(说不出什么问题,就是感觉例子论证有点怪,LZ自己看一下吧).In fact, our society is developing step by step, and each step, as faras I concerned, stands for a solution of a present problem.
(感觉最好在这两段的主题句上突出说明两段的关系)
To sum up, though somelong-term studies should be done since they might have a profoundeffect in the human being’s future(就是这句,我感觉最好在第一段声明一下), more proportion of the definitemoney that can be allocated should be spent on the immediate andexisting social problems.
这篇还行嘛,我感觉在没有感觉的时候能这么写就很好了,很有结构
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