ISSUE10【0706G－~4而后生~小组】第4次作业 by nap 有拍必回

napUID: 196976

TOPIC: ISSUE10 - "Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated."
WORDS: 572->600          TIME: 0:36:05          DATE: 2007-3-13

It is commonly thought that governments should support the major cities financially because they preserved and generated a nation's cultural traditions. As far as I am concerned, however, the government should not do this because most major cities are not that kind of ones.

Cultural traditions are a form of combination of local living style. When small countries were formed, people gathered and in a long period they bartered. During this time small countries were only a form of market and people always fixed a time to changed goods they needed. Because these people came from the nearby villages and then a style of culture formed. This culture was designed to meet the living need and we can also conclude that culture is actually the way a nation's people live in.

Most of the modern major cities, though developed from countries, are not the ones that preserve and generate cultural tradition. After the technology revolution, it is convenient for people to travel internationally who were of different background. As a result, because of historic and geographic reasons some countries such as London became major cities. Despite a little cultural tradition existing, because the cities was flowed into by many foreigners for some certain reasons many foreign culture entered and much of them became a part of the local culture. For example in some cities in Espana, though the culture is espanol, because the Moors once invade into these cities, the culture at present still contains some form of Moor ones. Thus many of the people are Muslim today.

In addition, some major cities are new and consequently have a little cultural tradition. The New York City, for instance, is totally a new city. Though the land is of the American Native people, the whole culture of the city is of the both traditional European and Modern style, even some Indian ones. Because the culture of these cities is a combination of other culture, it is almost meaningless to preserve such culture.

In contrast, some rural areas preserve and generate cultural tradition. Because when the major cities were formed nearly all the foreigners were attracted to these big ones, the almost pour cultural tradition existed. In the northern British, though Edinburgh is partly a modern city, in some countries people may still surprisingly find that some scenes which were thought to be existed in books appear in front of them. Because these countries are not the centers of economics and politics, the business man and the politicians are not interested in these seemingly poor ones. As a result, the local citizens still preserve the way they live, the art forms such as music and dance and the clothes styles. Besides, because the local citizens always have traditional views which argues that people should not change, these citizens tend to preserve the living way they owned.

Admittedly, some major cities do preserve cultural tradition. Though nearly all the major cities discard some part of the tradition, some exert a lot to preserve this culture. Kyoto is such one. After the revolution, a tremendous culture invaded into Japan and thus many people abjured the cultural tradition. Noticing this, many experts were afraid that by this the culture will wholly disappear. Consequently, the government made serious laws to protect the tradition. For example, a lot of traditional festival were preserve, the local culture were published in the form of cartoon into the west countries.

In sum, despite some exceptions, most of the major cities are actually not the ones that preserve and generate cultural tradition and the government should not support these districts financially.

[ 本帖最后由 nap 于 2007-3-16 17:33 编辑 ]

virilityUID: 2310179

There is thinking（这里可以用个更吸引人的句式，比如It is commonly thought that） that governments should support the major cities financially because they preserved and generated a nation's cultural traditions. As far as I am concerned, the government should not do this because most major cities are not that kind of ones.

Cultural traditions are generated ina long time（用period感觉更适合）. When small countries existed, people gathered and in a long time they bartered. During this time small countries were only a form of market and people always fixed a time to changed goods they needed. Because these people came from the nearby villages and then a style of culture formed（感觉上面这个例子举得很不典型，不太能证明论点）. This culture was designed to meet the living need and we can also conclude that culture is actually the way a nation's people live（是不是还要加个in）.

However, the modern major cities are not the ones that preserve and generate cultural tradition(这句话太绝对了) . After the technology revolution, it is convenient for people traveled（感觉是to travel） internationally who were of (用had吧)different background. As a result, because of historic and geographic reasons some countries such as London became major cities. Despite a little cultural tradition existing, because the cities was flowed into by many foreigners for some certain reasons many foreign culture entered and much of them became a part of the local culture. In some cities in Espana, though the culture is espanol, because the Moors once invade into these cities, the culture at present still contains some form of Moor ones. For example, many of the people are Muslim（感觉这段连词用得有点问题）.

In addition, some major cities are new and consequently have a little cultural tradition. The New York City, for instance, is totally a new city. Though the land is of the American Native people, the whole culture of the city is of the both traditional European and Modern style, even some Indian ones. Because the culture of these cities is a combination of other culture, it is meaningless to preserve such culture.（这个论断来得太武断了吧）
In contrast, some countries（用rural areas更恰当吧？）preserve and generate cultural tradition. Because when the major cities were formed nearly all the foreigners were attracted to these big ones, the almost pour cultural tradition existed. In the northern British, though Edinburgh is partly a modern city, in some countries people may still surprisingly find that some scenes which were thought to be existed in books appear in front of them. Because these countries are not the centers of economics and politics, the business man and the politicians are not interested in these seemingly poor ones. As a result, the local citizens still preserve the way they live, the art forms such as music and dance and the clothes styles. Besides, because the local citizens always have traditional views which argues that people should not change, these citizens tend to preserve the living way they owned.

Admittedly, some major cities do preserve cultural tradition. Though nearly all the major cities discard some part of the tradition, some exert a lot to preserve this culture. Kyoto is such one. After the revolution, a tremendous culture invaded into Japan and thus many people abjured the cultural tradition. Noticing this, many experts were afraid that by this the culture will wholly disappear. Consequently, the government made serious laws to protect the tradition. For example, a lot of traditional festival were preserve, the local culture were published in the form of cartoon into the west countries.（这段论述得比较清楚）
In sum, despite some exceptions, the major cities are actually not the ones that preserve and generate cultural tradition.（最后一段太草率，不能起到归纳论点的效果）
欢迎其它人拍砖
第四次作业
Issue 10 http://bbs.gter.ce.cn/bbs/thread-626840-1-1.html
Argument 11 http://bbs.gter.ce.cn/bbs/thread-626841-1-1.html


[ 本帖最后由 virility 于 2007-3-14 10:02 编辑 ]

insideUID: 2303230

在virility的基础上再说几点：

1、从结构上说，本文不同于以前的几篇：先下一个定义，然后说大部分大城市没有保留传统，新的大城市没有传统，乡村保留了传统，一些大城市也保留了传统。

这样看来，我觉得：第三段之前的however没有必要，这里根本不是转折，因为你前面还没有论述呢。如果它前面是第六段，however是顺理成章的；可如果它前面是一个定义，这里应该用的连接词是“在这样的定义下……”

此外，第六段我觉得没有必要，可以删去。

2、文章的问题是因为大城市保留了传统，所以政府应该让它得到所需的资助以保证其发展。你只说了是大城市还是小乡村保留了传统的问题，而没说任何资助的问题。我觉得应该加上这方面的论述。否则有点跑题。

hezhifei2008UID: 2233976

我觉得
1。第二段的定义不要单列一段，而且有点太长了
2。我也觉得第六段有点不舒服，要是舍不得删(删了就对题目全否了）就放第二段吧，