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[a习作temp] argument65 -anan [复制链接]

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发表于 2007-3-31 19:39:36 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Argument65  10 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧!
------摘要------
作者:寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间:602     552 words
2007230114分到20072301260
------题目------
The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.
'For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses.'

反驳点:
1.       反驳论据一Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin 从标记的四点批判
2.       反驳论据二a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers.从标记的两点批判
3.       指出该措施实施后不一定能带来利润,可能相反。
------正文------
In the memo, the president of a chain of cheese stores asserts that to improve profits in all of his stores, the best way is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses, since his company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory. To support his assertion, the speaker cites the following evidence: (1) that the five best-selling cheeses at the newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin last year, and (2) that a recent survey by Cheeses of the world magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. With the two doubtful evidence, the assertion should not be agreed.

First of all, there are at least four major points in the first evidence against the speaker’s assertion. To begin with, the newest store cannot stand for the all store, perhaps the old stores all happen to the opposite case in that the residents that the old stores serve all tend to eat cheeses accept from domestic cheeses. And the time “last year” also cannot give relation to the action in this year and later years. It also is possible that the best-selling cheeses in such newest store will be replaced with other kind of cheeses because, as time going, the clients may lose interest in the domestic cheeses. Then, the place Wiscontin also is not on behalf of the entire nation. Why not can we suppose that in most place of the nation, the residents all dislike the domestic cheeses while a little  residents prefer to domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Absent evidence denies that the people like domestic cheeses in sake of their habitat near Wiscontin. Lastly, the five best-selling cheeses do little indication that these five domestic cheddar cheeses are the best-profits cheeses. The profits are not only depended on the selling conditions but also on the prices and the money affording. For example, perhaps the prices of the five cheeses are very low and the company can hardly gain profits from such selling action.

Secondly, the survey by Cheeses of the world magazine which indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers can have little to support the assertion. Consider that whether the survey can be believed if the Cheeses of the world magazine is on some motive or some unsuitable methods, or it has enough samples to make the results suitable to the whole nation. Even the increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers is true, still it does not mean that the increasing extent can make the company gain profits. Maybe the increasing is only from 10.01% to 10.02%. Lacking many convincing evidence, it is extremely possible that the people liking other cheeses are far more than those who prefer domestic cheeses.

Finally, the speaker also does not consider his some worse aftermath which may make the company unable to gain his profits. Perhaps if the advice to discontinue stocking many of their varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses are adopted, at the same time the company also loses his competence due to what discontinued is just what interested by the customers. In that matter, the company may fail to seize the new market it wants to but lose the former market. Moreover, whether there are other methods which are better in improving profits also are not considered. If such other methods exist, why should we adopt the speaker's advice?(是不是这句话不要更好?)

In the final analysis, the speaker should not do such an assertion with such unreasonable evidence. To bolster his assertion, the speaker should provide more convincing  evidence that whether the most of all national residence like to eat domestic cheeses and whether the company can gain profits when such action are done. To better evaluate the assertion, I would like to know whether there exist other better methods.
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发表于 2007-3-31 22:24:08 |只看该作者

自拍一下(补充)

Finally, the speaker also does not consider (his ) some worse aftermath which may make the company unable to gain his profits on the operation of the assertion.

[ 本帖最后由 zsa1983 于 2007-3-31 22:30 编辑 ]

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板凳
发表于 2007-4-1 22:56:21 |只看该作者
再看看

[ 本帖最后由 Prudence 于 2007-4-1 23:05 编辑 ]
Love you with the love of Christ...

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地板
发表于 2007-4-1 23:05:31 |只看该作者

回复 #1 zsa1983 的帖子

In the memo, the president of a chain of cheese stores asserts that to improve profits in all of his stores, the best way is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses, since his company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory. To support his assertion, the speaker cites the following evidence: (1) that the five best-selling cheeses at the newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin last year, and (2) that a recent survey by Cheeses of the world magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. With the two doubtful evidence, the assertion should not be agreed.First of all, there are at least four major pointsproblems in the first evidence against the speaker’s assertion. To begin with(First), the newest store cannot stand for the(去掉) all stores,.Perhaps the(去掉) old stores all happen to the opposite case,in that(which) the residents that the old stores serve(their customers)all tend to eat(imported)cheeses accept from domestic cheeses(去掉).Second, And(去掉) the time (去掉) “last year” also cannot give relation to the action in this year and later years. It also is(is also)possible that the best-selling cheeses in such newest store will be replaced with other kind of(imported) cheeses,because, as time going, the clients may lose interest in the domestic cheeses. Then(Third), the place Wiscontin also is not on behalf of the entire nation. Why not can(can’t) we suppose that in most placesof the nation,(all)the residents all(去掉) dislike the domestic cheeses while a little(few) residents prefer to domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Absent evidence denies that the people like domestic cheeses in sake of their habitat near Wiscontin. Lastly, the five best-selling cheeses do little indication that these five domestic cheddar cheeses are the best-profits cheeses. The profits are not only depended on the selling conditions but also on the prices and the money affording. For example, perhaps the prices of the five cheeses are very low and the company can hardly gain profits from such selling action.Secondly, the survey by Cheeses of the world magazine which indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers can have little(fails) to support the assertion. Consider that(去掉) whether the survey can be believed if the Cheeses of the world magazine is on some motive or some unsuitable methods, or it has enough samples to make the results suitable to the whole nation.(Chinese 了!而且可以把你批的这两点分开说:Firstwe have good reason to query whether the Cheeses of the world magazine is on some motive or some unsuitable methods. If so, the survey cannot be believed. Second, if the samples is insufficient and not representative of the whole nation, it, again, fails to persuade me.还可以再具体些的)Even the increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers is true, still it does not mean that the increasing extent can make the company gain profits. Maybe the increasing is only from 10.01% to 10.02%. Lacking many convincing evidence, it is extremely possible that the people liking other cheeses are far more than those who prefer domestic cheeses.Finally, the speaker also does not consider his some worse aftermath which may make the companystores unable to gain his(make)profits. Perhaps if(after) the advice to(of) discontinue(discontinuing)stocking many of their varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses are(is)adopted, at the same time(去掉) the company also(去掉) loses his competence due to(since)what discontinued is just what interested by the customers.(太长了,太难理解了。汗!!!!改下吧) In that matter, the company may fail to seize the new market it wants to (去掉)but lose the former market. Moreover, whether there are other methods which are better in improving profits also are not considered. If such other methods exist, why should we adopt the speaker's advice?(是不是不要更好?)不要说!!!In the final analysis, the speaker should not do such an assertion with such unreasonable evidence. To bolster his assertion, the speaker should provide more convincing  evidence that whether the most of all national residence like to eat domestic cheeses and whether the company can gain profits when such action are done. To better evaluate the assertion, I would like to know whether there exist other better methods.
Love you with the love of Christ...

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RE: argument65 -anan [修改]

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