argument76 互拍！！！

PrudenceUID: 2286952

TOPIC: ARGUMENT76 - The following appeared as part of an article in a health and beauty magazine.

"A group of volunteers participated in a study of consumer responses to the new Luxess face cream. Every morning for a month, they washed their faces with mild soap and then applied Luxess. At the end of that month, most volunteers reported a marked improvement in the way their skin looked and felt. Thus it appears that Luxess is truly effective in improving the condition of facial skin."
WORDS: 397          TIME: 0:35:00          DATE: 2007-4-6

According to a questionable study, the author draws a hasty conclusion that Luxess is truly effective in improving the condition of facial skin. I will indicate each flaw in turn.

In the first place, the study itself suffers from several respects that are open to question. First, I wonder how many people are in this group. If there are only 10 or 20 people, then the study is unreliable at all. Second, it is dubious whether the volunteers are representative. Do they belong to different age span? Do they live in a same region? If any question's answer is yes, then the result of this study can be applied to that certain group.

In the second place, a month is not a particular long time for a scientific study, especially in face cream field. Maybe this month ago, most volunteers suffered from disability of sound sleep due to the stress of living and working which leads to their terrible facial conditions. However, during this month their stress of living and working is mitigated and they begin to be able to sleep well, which help their facial conditions improved. Thus, if want to rule out such possibilities as I mentioned above, the author should prolong the period of study.

In the third place, even if the study is reliable and a month is long enough, the effect of Luxess is still questionable. First, the mere fact that most volunteers reported a marked improvement in the way their skin looked and felt does not mean the conditions of their skin are really improved. Maybe, it is their psychology that gives them a false sense. Even though their skin conditions improved, it may be not attributable to Luxess. Maybe it is the soap which they used to wash their faces that leads to their skin's change. Again, even if it is not the soap's effect, maybe it is other products which they did not reported such as maskets that result in their skin's improvement. Thus, without ruling out foregoing possibilities, the author fails to prove that Luxess is truly effective.   

In conclusion, the author fails to make the argument convincing. In order to change this situation, the author should carry out a reliable and representative study which also should long enough-at least three months, and in this study other factors may leading to improvement of facial condition should be excluded.

IloveissuetooUID: 2323606

仰视...你一天写了多少啊...OTZ

According to a questionable study, the author draws a hasty conclusion that Luxess is truly effective in improving the condition of facial skin. I will indicate each flaw in turn可以这样用吗？不确定.

In the first place, the study itself我觉得almost所有的flaw都是study itself里面的 suffers from several respects that are open to question. First, I wonder how many people are in this group. If there are only 10 or 20 people, then the study is unreliable at all. Second, it is dubious whether the volunteers are representative. Do they belong to different age span? Do they live in a same region长短句交替，这一段全是短句? If any question's answer is yes, then the result of this study can be applied only to that certain group.

In the second place, a month is not a particular long time for a scientific study, especially in face cream field. 这个例子是细节了，前面加一句概括Maybe this month ago, most volunteers suffered from disability of sound sleep due to the stress of living and working which leads to their terrible facial conditions. However, during this month their stress of living and working is mitigated and they begin to be able to sleep well, which help their facial conditions improved. Thus, if want to rule out such possibilities as I mentioned above, the author(it's not the author who conducted the study) should prolong the period of study.

In the third place, even if the study is reliable and a month is long enough, the effect of Luxess is still questionableTS中是不是最好把错误指出. First, the mere fact that most volunteers reported a marked improvement in the way their skin looked and felt does not mean the conditions of their skin are really improved. Maybe, it is their psychology that gives them a false sense. Even though their skin conditions improved, it may be not attributable to Luxess. Maybe it is the soap which they used to wash their faces that leads to their skin's change. Again, even if it is not the soap's effect, maybe it is other products which they did not reported such as maskets that result in their skin's improvement. Thus, without ruling out the foregoing possibilities, the author fails to prove that Luxess is truly effective. 还是长短句的问题。另外一段话里面太多让步读起来累

In conclusion, the author fails to make the argument convincing. In order to change this situation, the author should carry out a reliable and representative study which also should long enough-at least three months这个数据是怎么来的？, and in this study other factors may leading to improvement of facial condition should be excluded.
嘿嘿，点抓得挺好，比我好
不过段内的结构要加强
也帮我改改吧