Issue51 [METTLE小组第一次作业] by hejielady再次修改

hejieladyUID: 2282175

Topic:
"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
   
Only when it (education) is particularly designed to serve the needs and benefits of every student, which we call student-oriented policy, would (it) be more effective. Hereon, I present my statement that the student-oriented policy is the prerequisite of an effective education but that does not mean we will neglect or abandon other teaching purposes.（allow students undue freedom to effect this power.）
只有满足了个人的需要和利益得，教育（应试教育）才会有效。但是这并不意味着我们会允许学生过度使用他们的这种权利

Why can education be certainly more productive by implementing the policy of student-oriented? The first reason lies in the fact that human beings more or less have an inclination of (to) egocentricity, especially the immature students. Practice testified that students' potentialof hard working will be stimulated with arouses of their self-contented（when their request is satisfied）.  As it did in the case of one of my English teachers who have done her every effort to change her major from Law to English while she was a college student. She failed to maintain her law course simply because of disliking being involved in the law world. It was not until one year after finally taking her favorite English major that she recovered from one year's depression in study. Individual interests build a successful and amazing English teacher who now enjoys a high reputation in English study realm. In the final analysis, that is the contribution of the student-oriented policy.
每个人都有以自我为中心的倾向，所以只有当他个人的要求被满足时，他努力学习的潜力就会被激发出来。

In addition, as the majorforce of the future， students' needs deserve more concern. Consider, if the concerned education institutions always neglect students requests--for instance, a well-equipped lab for experiment, less homework but more leisure time, and just name a few--will there be more talented persons pouring out from schools or will there be a much brighter future? That reminds me a popular conception of Incentive Mechanism, which explains more encouragements and better behavior. This definition applies to everyone in all walks of life, students either. Hence, students' needs and interests should be paid more attention to.
作为未来世界的主力军，学生需求应该被关注。这里提到一个激励机制的概念，同样运用在教育身上。

Having recognized the importance of catering to the needs and interests of each student, schools or other education authorities nevertheless should not allow (permit) students' undue requests. Life experiencew told us that exorbitance is never desirable. A good example comes immediately to mind, Adolf Hitler, an egregious violator who managed to control the world by using undue political powers and launching numerous wars ends up forfeiting the political game. Another case in point is human beings undue chopping down trees leaves (leave) themselves a dangerous environment. Therefore, we should draw lessons from the past and think twice before they (we) make a decision.  
虽然意识到了满足学生需求和兴趣的的重要性，教育当局却也不能允许学生的过度要求。

In sum, an effective education calls for a proper compromise with students on their individual needs and interests. The concerned education institutions should do their best to cater(ing to) students' requests but (while) in accordance with appropriate principles.
总结

首先谢谢各位的指导,谢谢yangzengli，还有谢谢另外一个朋友的修改．因为临时改变互改队友，所以yangzengli的作文我稍后补上．

我的语法不怎么好，所以辛苦各位了！下回写了后我会先改下再发帖出来的，这里是根据各位的修改，还有自己的重新整理，希望各位再指出不适之处，非常感谢！

[ 本帖最后由 hejielady 于 2007-6-25 14:54 编辑 ]

yangzengliUID: 2332195

Only when it is particularly designed to serve the needs and benefits of every student, which we call student-oriented policy, would be more effective. Hereon, I present my statement that the student-oriented policy is the prerequisite of an effective education but that does not means we will neglect or abandon other teaching purposes.
第一段给出中立的观点，但后文好像没有很好的去阐述
      Why can education be certainly more productive by implementing the policy of student-oriented? The reason lies in the fact that human beings are more or less have an inclination of egocentricity, especially the immature students. Practice testified that students' potential energetic of hard working will be stimulated with arouses of their self-contented. As it did in the case of one of my English teachers who have done her every efforts to change her major from Law to English while she was a college student. She failed to maintain her law course learning simply because of disliking being involved in law world. It was not until one year after finally taking her favorite major English that she recovered from one year's depression in study. Individual interests build a successful and amazing English teacher who now enjoys a high reputation in English study realm. In the final analysis that is the contribution of the student-oriented policy.
      In addition, as themajor force of the future world, students' needs deserve more concern. Consider, if the concerned education institutions always neglect students requests--for instance, a well-equipped lab for experiment, less homework but more leisure time,这句话蛮多语法错误 and just name a few--will there be more talented person pouring out from schools or will there be a more brighter future world? That reminds us a popular conception of Incentive Mechanism, which explains more encouragements and better behavior. This definition applies to everyone in all walks of life, students either. Hence, students' needs and interests should be paid more attention.
    Having删 recognizing the importance of catering tothe needs and interests of each student, schools or other education apartments nevertheless？ should not allow permittudents' undue requests. Life experience told us that exorbitance is never desirable. A good example come immediately这个prep应挪到后面 to mind, Adolf Hitler, an egregious violator who was managed to control the world by using undue political powers and launching numerous wars ends up forfeiting the political game. Another case in point is human beings undue chopping down trees leaves themselves a dangerous environment. Therefore, we should draw lessons from the past and think twice before they make a decision.这一段举的例子感觉有点偏离主题了，是在谈教育啊此外，例子也应具体展开阐述
     In sum, an effective education calls for a proper compromise with students on their individual needs and interests. The concerned education institutions should do their best to catercatering to students' requests but in accordance accordwith appropriateness principles.
总评：文章思路不是特别清晰，语法上蛮多错误，感觉不能过分的追求长句子，本文有些长句用得不是很恰当，另外中式英语格调蛮浓。

秋千UID: 2317735

本想给lz改改，可是看完后觉得写的真的很不错，不论是用词上还是例子上，基本上都很到位。加油～

hejieladyUID: 2282175

Only when education is particularly designed to serve the needs and benefits of every student, which we call student-oriented policy, would it be more effective. Hereon, I present my statement that the student-oriented policy is the prerequisite of an effective education but that does not mean we will allow students undue freedom to exert this power.

Why can education be certainly more productive by implementing the policy of student-oriented? The first reason lies in the fact that human beings more or less have an inclination of egocentricity, especially the immature students. Practice testified that students' potential passion of hard working wouldl be stimulated when their request is satisfied.  As it did in the case of one of my English teachers who have done her every effort to change her major from Law to English while she was a college student. She failed to maintain her law course simply because she dislike being involved in a law world. It was not until one year after finally taking her favorite English major that she recovered from one year's depression in study. Individual interests build the successful and amazing English teacher who now enjoys a high reputation in English study realm. In the final analysis, that is the contribution of the student-oriented policy.


In addition, as the major force of the future world, students' needs deserve more concern. Consider, if the concerned education institutions always neglect students request, requests like a well-equipped lab for experiment, less homework but more leisure time, and just name a few, will there be more talented person pouring out from schools or will there be a more brighter future world? That reminds me a popular conception of Incentive Mechanism, which explains more encouragements and better behavior. This definition applies to everyone in all walks of life, students either. Hence, students' needs and interests should be paid more attention.

Having recognized the importance of catering to the needs and interests of each student, schools or other education authorities nevertheless should not permit students' undue requests. Life experience told us that exorbitance is never desirable. A good example comes immediately to mind, Adolf Hitler, an egregious violator who managed to control the world by using undue political powers and launching numerous wars ended up forfeiting the political game. Another case in point is human beings undue actions of chopping down trees leave themselves a dangerous environment. Therefore, we should draw lessons from the past and think twice before we make a decision.  


In sum, an effective education calls for a proper compromise with students on their individual needs and interests. The concerned education institutions should do their best to catering to students' requests in the prerequisite of being in accordance with appropriate principles.

[ 本帖最后由 hejielady 于 2007-6-25 14:59 编辑 ]