求改:作文3篇 1

fllsydUID: 2347970

Do u agree or disagree?
Children should not have to work or help with household tasks; their only responsibility should be to study.


While people who prose the idea that children’s only responsibility should be to study claim that working or helping with household tasks would ocuppy the time for studying, in my opinion, it’s necessary to encourage children to work or help with household tasks, since doing them could help children to develop the ability for daily life, the sense of responsibility and also help parents to liberate from the heavy chores to some extent.

The first reaon to support my opinion is that household tasks teach children the basic skills for daily life. Nowadays, will not never astonish us that somebody who attend the colloge or university couldn’t do their own laundry or cook anything besides a frozen microwave dinner, and it is aslo commen for students on campus hiring cleaners to clean their dormitries. Why this situation is so amzingly commen? It is because when they were children, their parents didn’t ask them to do anything but studying.

An additional factor of my opinion is that it is a good way to develop children’s sense of responsibility. They will know it is not so easy for parents to keep house clean and next time they will not throw his toys and books all over the house, on the contray, they will learn to pick them up whenever they finished using them.

An equally essential factor which deserves people’s attention that in contemporary sociey, the young parents are suffering from stress from both their own career and familiy affairs. As a member of a family, children should do something to ease parents’ burdens.

From what has been mentioned above, it is not difficult to deduce this summary that working or helping with household tasks should be demanded for children. If I were a son’s mother, I would ask him to handle some easy tasks related to his own affairs, including doing his own little piece of laundry,  picking up his own room, and sometimes helping me to wash dishes after dinner, and so on..  I will encourage him materially and mentally like buying him his favorite toys and praising him in front of other people, and then he will become more confident and responsibel adults in the further.

fllsydUID: 2347970

大家看了给点意见啊,6.16考,挺急的

MagiSuUID: 2182136

Do u agree or disagree?
Children should not have to work or help with household tasks; their only responsibility should be to study.


While people who prose the idea thatchildren’s only responsibility should be to study claim that working orhelping with household tasks would ocuppy the time for studying,however in myopinion, it’s necessary to encourage children to work or help withhousehold tasks, since doing them could help children to develop theability for daily life, the sense of responsibility and also helpparents to liberate from the heavy chores to some extent.

The first reaon to support my opinionis that household tasks teach children the basic skills for daily life.Nowadays, will not never astonish ?? us that somebody who attend thecolloge or university couldn’t do their own laundry or cook anythingbesides a frozen microwave dinner, and it is aslo commen for studentson campus hiring cleaners to clean their dormitries. Why this situationis so amzingly commen? It is because when they were children, theirparents didn’t ask them to do anything but studying.

An additional factor of my opinion isthat it is a good way to develop children’s sense of responsibility. For example,They will know it is not so easy for parents to keep house clean andnext time they will not throw his toys and books all over the house, onthe contray, they will learn to pick them up whenever they finishedusing them. In that case...

An equally essential factor whichdeserves people’s attention that in contemporary sociey, the youngparents are suffering from stress from both their own career andfamiliy affairs. As a member of a family, children should do somethingto ease parents’ burdens. If the childen take some of the houseworks, ...

From what has been mentioned above,it is not difficult to deduce this summary that working or helping withhousehold tasks should be demanded for children. If I were a son’smother, I would ask him to handle some easy tasks related to his ownaffairs, including doing his own little piece of laundry,  picking uphis own room, and sometimes helping me to wash dishes after dinner, andso on..  I will encourage him materially and mentally like buying himhis favorite toys and praising him in front of other people, and thenhe will become more confident and responsibel adults in the further.


翻看了一下，结构是一个大问题，你的作文头大，脚大，身体小，这是不成比例的。你应该加上一些例子或者正反论证来support viewpoint.另外把头尾都剪短一点。其他问题不大。

fllsydUID: 2347970

谢谢点评,结构上是先写头尾再写主体的,所以..头尾是上课老师给出的模板改的,所以写起来比较顺手,中间的例子在短时间内不好想,不知道这种畸形的文章可以在考试中拿到什么样的分数

MagiSuUID: 2182136

模板特别没意思。中间的例子不写等于没用。我要是老师给18分吧。