我的作文，自我感觉比前几天有进步

bearlaughyouUID: 2316440

请高手指点！我现在写作文时最大的问题是不知道些什么，论据不充分，你们是怎么解决的阿？
下面是我今天写的作文，觉得比上几次发的有点小进步。
最后，请牛人指点应该怎样改的更好。谢谢！
121题 ： judge people by first impression, right or wrong?

The pace of the contemporary world is getting faster and faster, and we must get to know more strangers than we did in the past decades. So, whether it is right to judge a person by the first impression is an important issue to anyone. In my opinion, although the first impression is significant, it is not the sole factor for one to judge a person. On contrast, sometimes this attitude is harmful to you.

The major reason that I commit to the notion that the first impression shouldn’t be the only dimension to judge a person is we can not draw any conclusion to a person from the first time. Because any persons’ personalities are so complex that no one can be sure that he/she learns the people so well in the first time when they meet. For example, a person with little bad habits may be kind-hearted and is enthusiastic to offer his/her hand to those who needs help. However, he/she may leave some very bad impression to you if you judge a person from the first impression. You might think that he/she is so dirty and bad. What’s worse, such impression might rooted in you mind after the first meet with the person. Consequently, you will find it hard to change the attitude to him/her and thus you will never believe the good characters he/she has. In this cases, it is obvious wrong that you consider the person by the first impression.

Some times, judging people by the first impression is harmful and even dangerous. Recently, lots of tragedy news which some students were murdered by the “friends” they met from internet was broadcasted. Different victims share the same attitude toward strangers. That is, judging people by the first impression. The right way to learn someone and protect ourselves is contacting the person with a deeper knowledge.

Admittedly, the fist impression is of importance, especially in today’s world. When we hunting jobs, the first thing we have to do is behaving ourselves and attempting to be more clean and polite. Only in this way can make our potential boss believes we are capable. But it is certainly risky to trust someone merely by the first impression. To know someone better and deeper, long-term inspection is inevitable.

Consequently, although the first impression is important, we can not put it to prior. Because the first impression alone does not indicate to us how the person is really like, or even risk ourselves and put ourselves into danger. The best method is prudently learning someone in a long-term period.

briantanUID: 2180624

我的水平一般，不敢说指教什么的，就我读了楼主的文章，给点愚见吧

1。写作要求是以第一印象为中心，但读完楼主的文章给我的印象是，文章好像讨论“以貌取人”的成分较多。
2。第二段写得内容较多，对比第三段，第三段就显得有点空洞，不够说服力，能有事实论据会比较好。
3。我觉得写第一印象选right会比较好写：比如写到hunting jobs（楼主的补充论点），interview必须表现出最好的，这就是第一印象，用来反驳——这么重要的面试都没有足够的重视

不知道大家有没有其他论点论据呢？我学习学习。

bearlaughyouUID: 2316440

谢谢楼上的意见！
我也是找不到充足的论据和论点，才这样偷换概念的。我这篇算偏题吗？
我现在的问题就是总是找不到合适的论点和论据，你们是怎么解决的？

adonis4uUID: 201415

我感觉还不错。

richitUID: 2338879

只考过六级，但感觉而言，这篇文章比较通顺，但是论点和题目要求有点出入，另外优点在于读下来比较流利，文采不够。

bearlaughyouUID: 2316440

谢谢楼上的鼓励与中肯的意见！
另外想详细请教一下如何添加进文采，你说的文采是什么样的句子啊？

jackshenUID: 2348452

4

bearlaughyouUID: 2316440

非常感谢楼上的评分。还想问一下，作文的总分是多少啊？

daniel_lewUID: 2324362

it should be hunting for jobs

but i think it is not convincing enough by lacking of supports
and also i think if you choos the opposite opinion it can be easier