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[求助] 帮看看俺作文贝````使劲批吧!! [复制链接]

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发表于 2007-6-14 21:22:58 |显示全部楼层
Currently, people long for more colorful and easy life, as they go after work, hoping that more pleasure things will be chosen, so spare time is a key word of our time. However in the next twenty years will people have more free time than nowadays? From my perspective, I favor it by the virtue of the desire of people.

First of all, spare time tend to help people relax mind and relieve pressure. Seldom does anyone refuse a period of precise leisure time, because people need time to relax themselves by a variety of effects from pressure. For example, a student who will take the university exam  need be overwhelmed in the numerous review books; a management is  always try to make the company run smoothly whenever s/he is; a worker in the force is busy with fulfilling her/his task per day. Almost everyone struggles to do work constantly, for a multitude of reasons that might be entering a well-known university, obtaining more profits for company or even earning more money per month. So a leisure time could help them get out spontaneously, and plunge into that again dynamically.

Furthermore, leisure time is helpful to keep fit. As no doubt, health is anther imperative word in the modern society, but couch potato could not help people be a healthy one, both sports and communication are more likely to be helpful. Leisure time is a must-possess item. Imagine how it is fantastic to bring your little child, dear partner and little dog to run slowly in a early morning? how it is charming to participate a healthy club? I am sure both of these could be in favor of your health, not only in terms of physical, but also in terms of mental.

In short, the tempo of living is increasing, the leisure time is becoming a must-have thing, after twenty years there will be more than now, to some extent it is during the leisure time people could get relaxed and keep fit at their pleasure.

[ 本帖最后由 cheng_xin 于 2007-6-14 21:30 编辑 ]

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发表于 2007-6-15 01:14:51 |显示全部楼层

回复 #1 cheng_xin 的帖子 more leisure time?

Please list the assignment.

It seems so many problems in your writing.

First, state your question, then provide your point of view clearly.

Then offer reasons including facts and examples. These evidence should be logically coherent.

Discuss the opposing view briefly and make your conclusion.

Some peaple call it "5 paragraph structure". One is for introduction at the very beginning. One for summary at the ending. The other three are the body text for three major reasons generally.

Also good writing demands proper use words and also follow grammar. Please check your writing again.

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发表于 2007-6-15 09:22:42 |显示全部楼层
Currently, people long for more colorful and easier life.Hoping to spend more time on the interesting things, so spare time is a key word of our time. However in the next twenty years will people have more free time? From my perspective, leisure time is destined to become more in future, in both terms of alleviating pressure and keeping fit.

First of all, spare time tends to help people relax mind and relieve pressure. Seldom does somebody refuse a period of precise leisure time, because people needs time to relax themselves by a variety of effects from pressure. For example, a student who will take the university entrance exam is usually  overwhelmed by the numerous review books; a manager is always trying to make the company run smoothly whenever and wherever she/he is doing ; a worker in a work force is busy with fulfilling her/his daily task. Almost everyone struggles for own goals under a big pressure, so a leisure time could help them get rid of them temporarily and plunge into duties again dynamically.

Furthermore, leisure time is helpful to keep fit. As no doubt, never could a couch potato be a healthy one if s/he stays still, under the circumstance proper break is a must-spend time. Let us do a hypothesis, without spending time to have a break, in the toefl text how could we do the speaking secession well? I am sure that appropriate break from the tedious work could be in favor of your physical and mental health.

Admittedly, in the highly competitive society, people tend willing to make full use of time on the work and study. For example, in a securities firm the trading staff could never spend their time on a new comedy. Nevertheless, this case is not universal enough to obscure the tendency of a increasing in leisure time. Government interference is not a guarantee of ample leisure the people hold, but for health the pay-off would worth the effort.


In short, with all the dimensions maintained above incorporated, I strongly vote for the statement that in the next twenty years the leisure time human holds will  be much more.

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发表于 2007-6-15 09:24:02 |显示全部楼层
曾经写过3段理由段的作文,但发现第3个理由很难想对我而言。
hehe...  
这个改了好多~~~~
再帮看看吧~~~~

感激 牛牛~~~~~~

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发表于 2007-6-15 09:41:03 |显示全部楼层

回复 #4 cheng_xin 的帖子

I made a comment for another writing of the same topic. You will find it at

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... age=1#pid1770367351

Good luck tomorrow.

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发表于 2007-6-15 13:12:41 |显示全部楼层
:loveliness: :loveliness:  很谢谢你!!

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RE: 帮看看俺作文贝````使劲批吧!! [修改]

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