第一次写中立观点的文章，希望大家能提点意见！谢谢！

bearlaughyouUID: 2316440

这个文章能的多少分阿？谢谢大家指点！
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Grades (marks) encourage students to learn. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Can grades encourage students to learn? From my perspective, this question has no one hundred percent certain answer, for various students may have different attitude toward their grades they make. And the result is of course quite different. Some students may be encouraged and while some may be frustrated. It depends on students themselves.

Lower marks can have some positive function to those who are brave enough. Because those students are able to face their grade more rationally, they always understand the truth that the score is not everything. They are quite clear that they want to gain the knowledge and the skills, not the scores. For them, the grades are a kind of method to judge themselves, and to test themselves. They are able to analysis their mistakes from the paper, and attempt to avoid the same mistake next time. So if they got a low grade, they also could make progress from it.

And high grades also have the positive effect on these willing students. When these kinds of students get higher marks, they will be encouraged. Because, this is the result of their struggles and which makes them believe their diligence and hard working are worthy. Their confidences on study will certainly be developed and be more concentrating on study. No matter what the scores are, the result of the paper for them is good.

On the contrary, it is not a good thing for those students without such attitudes toward grades. Because these students may view the grades or marks the ultimate goal for studying, they view the grades so essential that they want to gain nothing except the grades. For these kinds of students, grades are sort of burdens. They live for grades, study for grades, cry for grades and laugh for grades. This attitude makes them totally blind on the true purpose of study, which is obtaining well-rounded knowledge.

To sum up, whether grades can encourage students to learn is depending on the attitude of students. The students who are able to view the scores rationally and calmly will improve themselves greatly while the students without those attitudes may suffer from their grades.

(27 mins, 359 words)

bearlaughyouUID: 2316440

有没有人提点意见啊？非常感谢！

richitUID: 2338879

个人看出来几个地方，不敢让楼主苟同：
1.and while some may be frustrated
   and which makes them believe
   我觉得这里的and都是多于的，正式的文章中很少见到这样的用法。

2.Lower marks can have some positive function to those who are brave enough. Because those students are able to face their grade more rationally, they always understand the truth that the score is not everything.
   由前边的brave enough而退出后便的understand the truth...好像不直接成立。

3.Their confidences on study will certainly be developed and be more concentrating on study.
   前一个半句的主语是their confidences，而后半句的主语按照语境来说应该不同于前边。

4. The students who are able to view the scores rationally and calmly will improve themselves greatly
   这不能绝对保证，因为有些人因此而意志消沉，彻底放弃，那也是坦然了。

kevinliu6883UID: 2338522

When you retrospect your writing, you may find your evidence is somehow an extreme case. Some students may think scores are very important, but no one " live for grades, study for grades, cry for grades and laugh for grades".

Generally, you can give an ample description of evidence to one side, including both pros and cons. Then a small paragraph list the opposite view and your comment.

As for this topic, I am inclined to support.
1). score is a mark that reflect the level of achievement a student reaches in learning process. Through the score, students will know if he/she needs further effort. score servers a milestone for students.

2) most students treat score seriously. When poor score is showed up, most students regard it as a red alert. They know if they don't study hard enough, they are more likely to fail the course. I servered as a teacher assistant. I did not grade students' homework at the very beginning. soon I found some students' work full of mistakes and some made illegible daubsting. I accepted my roomate's suggestion and began to grade. The situation improved a lot.

3) College needs a proper assassment on students academic achievement. scores serves a standard.

....

bearlaughyouUID: 2316440

感谢！明白了。