生如夏花小组第一次作业

森林116UID: 2272614

写作：
It has recently been announced that a new restaurant may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer

Since the announcement of building a new restaurant in my neighborhood, a majority of my neighbours showed their concern for the project and expressed their views of buiding the restaurant. It is clear that the diversified views have converged to two: some people welcome the restaurant while others do not. In my opinion, we should agree with the latter without hesitation for the following reasons.

First of all. as everbody knows the purpose of any restaurant will be nothing but gaining profits as much as it could by any kind of means including something that benefites the restaurant while interrupts our life. For instance, the restaurant will be probablely equiped with neon light which may shine all the night, that will of course disturbes our sleepness. Secondly a restaunt especially a luxury hotel is a complex place which gathers the all sorts of people including punks and ruffians, who will probablely threaten the security of the neighbourhood. And a last but not the least reason I opposite buiding a restaurant is that it may bring pollution to this area as time goes by, once imagining we will live in such an environment be surrounded by plastic lunch boxes, cigarettes, feminine napkins, trash bags, nobody will not support the idea of buiding such a restaurant any more.

Because of the abovereasons, though a new restaurant my really brings some advantages to us as the exponents claim that it will be convenient when they need to treat their guests, the disadvantages it will give us are much more. Thus I strongly recommend that not buiding such a new restaurant in our neighbourhood, we never weicome it!

口语：
discribe the most important decision that you made in yourlife

While retrospecting my life till now, the most important decision I have been made is choosing Applied Chemistry as my specialty when entering university. Ever since I was a kid, I had a dream of being a famous scientist like Einstein, though it seems rather challengible,my parents told me that if there is a will, there is a way. Step by step, I gradually find the profound and entertainment of Chemistry which plays a significant role in the long human history in learning it during these years. Finally I made the most important decision in my life, at that moment, I was so excited that I will spend my whole life studying it as I become close to my dream inch by inch.

portsxuUID: 2342632

作文字数不够....口语很好....非常好....考试时候能流利的说出来肯定高分:loveliness:

mashanUID: 2352114

well done!

portsxuUID: 2342632

Since the announcement of building a new restaurant in my neighborhood(since后面加完整的分句，比方说since the project of a new restaurant's construction has been anounced), a majority of my neighbours showed(为什么用过去时？这是一个假设的问题，用现在时也可以，当然过去时也行，但是意味着下面的讨论也必须用统一的时态，过去时比较麻烦） their concern for the project and expressed their views of buiding the restaurant. It is clear that the diversified views have converged to two: some people welcome the restaurant while others do not. In my opinion, we should agree with the latter without hesitation for the following reasons.（without hesitation 比较绝对，不妨用大概的推测语气来写，这样下面更可加一段让步以凑字数）

First of all.（first of all 和last but not least其实是口语用词，写作还是用正式一点的to begin with好不好呢) as everbody knows the purpose of any restaurant will be nothing(这样写的意思就是说餐厅的建立只能带来某种功用，而后面用了something这样不确定的用词，和前半句的语气无法统一，而且句子略长，可以考虑使用逗号增加阅读的节奏感） but gaining profits as much as it could by any kind of means including something that benefites the restaurant while interrupts our life. For instance, the restaurant will be probablely equiped with neon light which may shine all the night, that will of course（undoubtedly certainly inarguably,尽量用书面语写吧） disturbes our sleepness（sleeping). Secondly a restaunt especially a luxury hotel is a complex place which gathers the all sorts of people including punks and ruffians（哥们，你不喜欢ＰＵＮＫ没关系，万一人家老外哈这个捏．．不如改成
stripper~heyhey), who will probablely threaten the security of the(our) neighbourhood. And(and 是连词，独立使用） a last but not the least reason I opposite buiding a restaurant is that it may bring pollution to this area as time goes by, once imagining we will live in such an environment be surrounded by plastic lunch boxes, cigarettes, feminine napkins, trash bags, nobody will not support the idea of buiding such a restaurant any more.（nobody will support the idea of erecting such a restaurant any longer)

Because of the abovereasons, though a new restaurant my really brings some advantages to us as the exponents claim that it will be convenient when they need to treat their guests, the disadvantages it will give us are much more. Thus I strongly recommend that not buiding such a new restaurant in our neighbourhood, we never weicome it!

似乎把餐厅扁得太厉害了些，不过作为first edition比我好多了哈～～可能盖得不恰当，请多指教了～～～
另外现在还可以再加吗～？我７月７号和８月４号都有，，，自己一个人没干劲呐～～

sljljUID: 2229927

生如夏花小组第一次作业

写作：
It has recently been announced that a new restaurant may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer

Since the announcement of building a new restaurant in my neighborhood, a majority of my neighbours showed their concern for the project and expressed their views of buiding the restaurant (since后用完成时态感觉是不是好点？). It is clear that the diversified views have converged to two: some people welcome the restaurant while others do not. In my opinion, we should agree with the latter without hesitation for the following reasons.

First of all. as everbody knows （xdf童玲说用as is known to everybody要正式）the purpose of any restaurant will be nothing but gaining profits （be nothing but,我觉得这个用的很好）as much as it could by any kind of means including something that benefites the restaurant while interrupts our life（something benefits不知道这里单复数有什么讲究没？something应该是和means对等的。这个我不是很清楚，可以讨论一下）. For instance, the restaurant will be probablely equiped with neon light which may shine all （over）the night, that will of course disturbes our sleepness（杜撰的？好像没有sleepness这个词，呵呵）. Secondly, a restaunt especially a luxury hotel is a complex place which gathers the (此处the不用) all sorts of people including punks and ruffians, who will probablely threaten the security （对，应该这样表达好，我的没有你的好）of the neighbourhood. And a last but not the least reason （这样表达的不知道有没有，像我ls那我提的，last but not least 确实是口语化的词汇，用在口语题里非常好，用在作文里面估计就只just so so了）I opposite buiding a restaurant is that it may bring pollution to this area as time goes by, once imagining we will live in such an environment be surrounded by plastic lunch boxes, cigarettes, feminine napkins, trash bags, nobody will not support the idea of buiding such a restaurant any more.

Because of the above reasons, though a new restaurant may really brings some advantages to us as the exponents claim that it will be convenient when they need to treat their guests, the disadvantages it will give us are much more. Thus I strongly recommend that not buiding such a new restaurant in our neighbourhood, we never weicome it!

你的长句明显比我用的多，逻辑条理清晰，aw遗风^_^。关于那个转折放哪里的问题，我也是看一篇帖子说美国人的思维方式一般转折放前面，后面是重点。当然我自己的作文body1有点长了，是个问题。嗯。别的意见我们可以再讨论


口语：
discribe the most important decision that you made in yourlife

While retrospecting my life, till now, the most important decision I have been（这里been不用吧） made is choosing Applied Chemistry as my specialty when entering university. Ever since I was a kid, I had a dream of being a famous scientist like Einstein, though it seems rather challengible这个单词也没有找到,my parents told me that if there is a will, there is a way （very good）. Step by step, I gradually find the profound这个是形容词 and entertainment of Chemistry which plays a significant role in the long human history in learning it during these years. Finally I made the most important decision in my life, at that moment, I was so excited that I will spend my whole life studying it as I become close to my dream inch by inch.

套套近乎，我也是学化学的，贼船，呵呵

森林116UID: 2272614

恩，谢谢你的批改,,,,用词方面我会注意的.汗,,,,,last but not least 当年在argument里用了N次了~~~
至于转折的问题,,我当时是在准备AW时听说的,,,,说一开始最好表达自己的观点,让别人快点知道你的立场,然后在最后稍微让步显得有辩证思维,,,,当然,你那样说也有道理

ernest81888UID: 2247639

最后一句  we never weicome it! 小森林的情感发泄出来了，哈哈

sunflowerchenziUID: 2328335

开头段太厉害了，绝对让人眼睛一亮