生如夏花小组--第1次作业(restaurant)之小马过河

ernest81888UID: 2247639

独立写作部分
Topic: It has recently been announced that a new restaurant maybe built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan. Why?

To evaluate the feasibility of building a new restaurant in our neighborhood requires us to have a full view on both advantages and disadvantages. For my part, a restaurant apparently brings us many conveniences because it could not only help people in saving time in cooking, but also provide us with delicious foods. On the other hands, it might supply works to those who are out of jobs or it might help students who are searching for a part time job and needs to gain some experiences from it. So I will support this exciting news as I will analyze it as below.

Primarily, cooking at home is known for its time-consuming. It is especially true when it comes to our neighborhood. For people in our neighborhood, they are mostly working in some big companies so that the most time they spent in is to make a living for their family. Time seams too limited for them. What’s more, some families have children in kindergarten. It seems that before cooking the meal they had to pick up their children firstly. What's worse, even if they want to do cooking themselves, their children might already feel hungry for the late dinner. For the reason, a new restaurant which could supply a fast food for people might appease this kind of problem.

More, with the increasing of unemployment rate, some people in our neighborhood have lost their jobs. A new restaurant could fit on the point to solve those people’s working problems. Besides, the students in our neighborhood might take advantages of obtaining a part-time job, which could both improve their personal working experience and gain some pocket money as well. Accordingly, there is no reason to object this project.

Finally, people all prefer delicious foods and making new friends. A restaurant which will sale both Chinese tradition and Western foods seam attractive to us. Meanwhile, it appears that eating at a restaurant could possible to have some new friends. For these two points, building a new restaurant is not a bad choice.

In sum, as a member of AAA neighborhood, I would support the new restaurant project. However, some elements should also take into consideration. For example, the sanitation of the restaurant, the price of foods it provides, or if their food taste caste to popular. Although it might be too haste to have a final conclusion for the project, the advantages can not be denied.
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口语部分
Describe the most important decision that you made in your life

I think the most improtant one in my life is entering the company which now I am working in as being a testing engineer in semiconductor.It is because my company gives me a lot of chances to touch the highly advanced knowleges and also trains me to be a qualified engineer. Secondly, working in the company helps me a lot in english approving since we should work with many U.S guys. Lastly, I think, with the help of my chief, I have learned a great amount of ability to equiped myself in being a testing engineer.That's the reason why I thinks it is the most imprtant decision in my life.

[ 本帖最后由 ernest81888 于 2007-7-2 18:48 编辑 ]

小马家家UID: 2247022

－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－

小马几号的ＩＢＴ？

ernest81888UID: 2247639

8月头。具体的忘了，汗。。。。

[ 本帖最后由 ernest81888 于 2007-7-2 20:39 编辑 ]

森林116UID: 2272614

两只小马?

f_dingUID: 2283047

强啊
我也是9月头的，
还没开始呢
羡慕
加油～

hooligan2003UID: 2243580

9月头的现在复习也蛮紧的，还要考G，快疯了

lisha726UID: 2282972

独立写作部分
Topic: It has recently been announced that a new restaurant maybe built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan. Why?

To evaluate the feasibility of building a new restaurant in our neighborhood requires us to have a full view on both advantages and disadvantages. For my part, a restaurant apparently brings us many conveniences because it could not only help people in saving time in cooking, but also provide us with delicious foods. On the other hand, it might supply works to those who are out of jobs or students who need to gain some experience from a part-time job in our neighborhood. So I will support this exciting news as I will analyze it as below.

Primarily, cooking at home is known for its time-consuming. It is especially true when it comes to our neighborhood. For people in our neighborhood, they are mostly working in some big companies so that the most time they spent on is to make a living for their family. Time seams too limited for them. What’s more, some families have children in kindergarten. It seems that before cooking the meal they had to pick up their children firstly. What's worse, even if they want to do cooking themselves, their children might already feel hungry for the late dinner. For the reason, a new restaurant which could supply a fast food for people might appease this kind of problem. [detail不错，很详细；主要围绕时间方面的问题展开]

Moreover, with the increasing of unemployment rate, some people have lost their jobs. A new restaurant could fit on the point to solve those people’s working problems. Besides, the students in our neighborhood might take advantages of obtaining a part-time job, which could both improve their personal working experience and gain some pocket money as well. Accordingly, there is no reason to oppose this project. [继续优点:可提供工作机会]

Finally, people all prefer delicious foods and making new friends. A restaurant which will sale both Chinese tradition and Western foods seam attractive to us. Meanwhile, it appears that eating at a restaurant could possible to have some new friends. For these two points, building a new restaurant is not a bad choice.

In sum, as a member of AAA neighborhood, I would support the new restaurant project. However, some elements should also take into consideration. For example, the sanitation of the restaurant, the price of foods it provides, or if their food taste caste to popular. Although it might be too haste to have a final conclusion for the project, the advantages can not be denied.

文章结构严谨，按总-分-总的顺序，让我受益的是，优点的展开很细，提供了很好的detail，学习学习！
但是有个疑问，文章一开头就说要优点、缺点都考虑，但是全文的基调确是支持，即大部分考虑的优点，只是在结尾处略提了点问题吧；这样的话，这个开头一句到底有什么作用啊？麻烦解释一下。
还有,on one hand/on the other hand,是不是必须要联在一起用啊？[第一段]
结构上,按你的文章，应该是第一段把大致要说的主要论点都提吧，但是第三个论点的make friends却在第一段没提，这样做是不是也可以啊？
-----------------------------------------------------------------口语部分
Describe the most important decision that you made in your life

I think the most important one in my life is entering the company which now I am working in as being a testing engineer in semiconductor.
It is because my company gives me a lot of chances to touch the highly advanced knowledge, and also trains me to be a qualified engineer.
Secondly, working in the company helps me a lot in English approving since we should work with many U.S guys.
Lastly, I think I have learned a great amount of ability to equip myself in being an excellent testing engineer with the help of my boss.
That's the reason why I thinks it is the most important decision in my life.

明显看出是first draft, 里面有一些很明显的拼写错误;个人觉得3条理由陈述的不错;字数也把握很好！


[ 本帖最后由 lisha726 于 2007-7-2 21:25 编辑 ]

ernest81888UID: 2247639

恩，说的对，我make friends的确有点问题，开头需要改善，谢谢