CRACK 9T小组第3次作业---yeren7722

yeren7722UID: 2297829

My home locates in a small town ,around which there is a picturesque countryside scene. However, few restaurants are included in the town, and it is not convenient for people , especially the tourists, to have their meal here. As a result, I quite agree a new restaurant to be built in my neighborhood.

An persuasive point is that the new restaurant can greatly facilitate people’s daily life,  not only for the residents here, but the tourist who are visiting our town. As is known to us all that,preparing for food is really a cumbersome job. And nowadays, people , sometimes, are so busy with their work that, they have litte time to do the timeconsuming housework.  Consequently, they can go to the coming restaurant for their meal, which can save their time and so they have more time to entertain or communicate with their family members. On the other hand, with the new restaurant , the tourists can enjoy their time , concentrate themselves in the striking prospect here ,and do not need to warry about where to have their next meal.

Furthermore, the economy here can be stimulated to develop rapidly by the new restaurant. As we know, to build a restaurant requires a large amout of the materials and labor forces.As a result,the factories in my town is able to provide various materials , meanwhile the people who are out of work and farmers nearby can do the building work for the restaurant. Moreover, if the restarant is finished, everyday ,it needs a multitude of things for cooking, such as rice ,vegetables, meats, eggs, and so forth, and all of them can be offered by the laborious farmers. Therefore, with the funds from the materials and foods,the factories can improve their equipments and techniques,and so can the farmers,which will spur the economic development in my hometown..

Although a new restaurant, sometimes, may bring disadvantages to the town, for instance,they may produce many rubbishes, which may contaminate the enviroment nearby, or may make some noises,which may disturb people’s tranquil lives, its merits outweigh its flaws.From what have been discussed above, we can eventually draw a conclusion that to build a new restaurant can  bring a lot of conveniece and dramatically benefit the tourits and people here, even my whole hometown.

冬子UID: 2290398

Writing部分修改见附件

Speaking：

条理很清楚，内容丰富，语速也控制得很好

有几个小缺陷：

1. 在childhood里面听到了三次 ”呃……“  place里面也有两三个“嗯……” 这个尽量避免吧，如果实在是想不起来要说什么了，那么保持沉默

2. 注意 L 的发音，有几次你的发音更接近 n  最明显的一次是childhood里面的 a lot of toys

3. 注意时态，还是childhood，里面很多地方应该用过去式， eg. there's (was) no pressure in my childhood.......

4. 语调略显单调，加入一些抑扬顿挫会更好（这个是以前flora姐姐提示给我的）

整体感觉，发音和文本都是place比childhood要好一些

[ 本帖最后由 冬子 于 2007-7-21 08:23 编辑 ]

zhouleixinUID: 2323826

不错

yeren7722UID: 2297829

十分感谢