Issue50 【7.20，期待被砖拍，必回】

gyyxUID: 2290150

I50："In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."

2007-7-20

Education, one of the key word of our time, is too much essential in our era. As more and more students go to university to receive further education, the university also advances its education level, through the way that requiring the entire faculty to work outside in relevant to the courses they teach as the author asserts. For which, I totally approve. Although this is a waste of time if in some other view, interaction in this realm will benefit not only education, but the academic world.

As a teacher of school, a professor's reasonability is not research's sake, teaching may be more essential as to train the youth for the society. It is the function of education, the function of all colleges and university, to transmit the youth the best of one's culture, to improve them though creative spirit, and initiate the latest development in science and society. All these will achieve better effects if it is taught by the distinguished professor whose research relevant and even who is one of the top talents in the realm. As their great character, the students will be benefited not only in study the curriculum they teach, but also in the character cultivating, if they could draw some time to communicate with the students and even care for them in life. Additionally, some actions if held by the professor will be more popular to students and make them more interested in.

Certainly, teaching blindly only in their school is not enough, intercommunion among university and college in the teaching realm must be emphasized a lot. Organizing actions and participation in is a better way to rich the academic and teaching realm. In a competition just like Mathematical Contest in Modeling, an international competition in world, which many students from different country participate in with their work and the  of which are the head ones in the math, the professor taking part in it, will benefits in many aspects：(1) he could exchange words with the professors all over the world on the academic realm they search and even to be inspired to some extent; (2) he could learn some teaching methods and ways to see how different we teach compared to others, and derive the best to introduce to his own if possible; (3) he could know what students of other country do and the level they in, so as to compare with his own students in homeland. All these above will improve the teaching level of the college and university is out of suspect.

Admittedly, as one coin have two sides, too much time spending on the teaching will harm to academic research directed by the professors. Especially some routine in teaching work such as writing teaching routine plan and purposeless summary is a waste of the professors' time and may cause emotional problems which could be brings in research. If it is due to this nonsense teaching work, the professor's routine time in work and research is undermined, it is unworthy.

So, as a conclusion, the entire faculty should spend time working outside the academic world to contribute themselves in teaching work, in order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, but with a proper degree, the standard of which is not to influence the academic research.

学野UID: 2155973

I50："In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."

2007-7-20

Education, one of the key word of our time, is too much essential in our era.稍显重复 As more and more students go to university to receive further education, the university also advances感觉提高水平用improve顺一些~个人意见哈 its education level, through the way that requiring the entire faculty to work outside in relevant to the courses they teach as the author asserts. For which, I totally approve. Although this is a waste of time if in some other view, interaction in this realm will benefit not only education, but the academic world.观点鲜明

As a teacher of school, a professor's reasonability is not research's sake, (后面为体现more 这里可以换成compared with research as a professor's responsibility,)teaching may be more essential as to train the youth for the society. It is the function of education, the function of all colleges and university, to transmit the youth the best of one's culture, to improve them though creative spirit, and initiate the latest development in science and society. All these will achieve better effects if it is taught by the distinguished professor whose research relevant and even who is one of the top talents in the realm. As their great character, the students will be benefited not only in study the curriculum they teach, but also in the character cultivating, if they could draw some time to communicate with the students and even care for them in life. Additionally, some actions if held by the professor will be more popular to students and make them more interested in.这段体现teach重要性从而证明work outside of academic world 必要性吗？好像不是很convincing，呵呵

Certainly, teaching blindly only in their school is not enough, intercommunion among university and college in the teaching realm must be emphasized a lot. Organizing actions and participation in is a better way to rich the academic and teaching realm. In a competition just like Mathematical Contest in Modeling, an international competition in world, which many students from different country participate in with their work and the  of which are the head ones in the math, the professor taking part in it, will benefits in many aspects：(1) he could exchange words with the professors all over the world on the academic realm they search and even to be inspired to some extent; (2) he could learn some teaching methods and ways to see how different we teach compared to others, and derive the best to introduce to his own if possible; (3) he could know what students of other country do and the level they in, so as to compare with his own students in homeland. All these above will improve the teaching level of the college and university is out of suspect. 例子很生动，可惜这段跟题目有一定距离，题目要求是否faculty应该在学术之外working，而这段只说明intercommunion的好处

Admittedly, as one coin have two sides, too much time spending on the teaching will harm to academic research directed by the professors. Especially some routine in teaching work such as writing teaching routine plan and purposeless summary is a waste of the professors' time and may cause emotional problems which could be brings in research. If it is due to this nonsense teaching work, the professor's routine time in work and research is undermined, it is unworthy.

So, as a conclusion, the entire faculty should spend time working outside the academic world to contribute themselves in teaching work, in order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, but with a proper degree, the standard of which is not to influence the academic research.
语言很流畅，可是总感觉有点没有扣题，是限时写的吗？不过总的来说，比我的好阿~有空拍我的哈

gyyxUID: 2290150

回雪野：是限时写的，先写各个分论点，然后写里面的论证，险些就没写完
我觉得intercommunion是 work的一部分，就像是出公差那种，为了交流教学经验，还有带队出去比赛
我觉得这个就是学术之外的教育工作。

学野UID: 2155973

这样解释感觉很顺了，不过最好还是要提一下intercommunion is an indispensible part of outside work

gyyxUID: 2290150

好的说
你的帖子怎么被锁了呢？？

学野UID: 2155973

格式不对吧，不过我已经改过来了，现在还被锁吗

H-KevinUID: 2182070

原帖由 gyyx 于 2007-7-20 20:52 发表

Education, one of the key word of our time, is too much essential in our era. As more and more students go to university to receive further education, the university also advances its education level,(展望是不是太长了，读的找不到主题了) through the way that requiring the entire faculty to work outside in relevant to the courses they teach as the author asserts. For which, I totally approve. Although this is a waste of time if in some other view, interaction in this realm will benefit not only education, but the academic world.（题目是 the quality of instruction,是不是跑题了）

As a teacher of school, a professor's reasonability is not research's sake, teaching may be more essential as to train the youth for the society. It is the function of education, the function of all colleges and university, to transmit the youth the best of one's culture, to improve them though creative spirit, and initiate the latest development in science and society. All these will achieve better effects if it is taught by the distinguished professor whose research relevant and even who is one of the top talents in the realm. As their great character, the students will be benefited not only in study the curriculum they teach, but also in the character cultivating, if they could draw some time to communicate with the students and even care for them in life. Additionally, some actions if held by the professor will be more popular to students and make them more interested in.( 全段落只看到quality of instruction, 没有看到outside work的影响)

Certainly, teaching blindly only in their school is not enough, intercommunion among university and college in the teaching realm must be emphasized a lot. Organizing actions and participation in is a better way to rich the academic and teaching realm. In a competition just like Mathematical Contest in Modeling, an international competition in world, which many students from different country participate in with their work and the  of which are the head ones in the math, the professor taking part in it, will benefits in many aspects：(1) he could exchange words with the professors all over the world on the academic realm they search and even to be inspired to some extent; (2) he could learn some teaching methods and ways to see how different we teach compared to others, and derive the best to introduce to his own if possible; (3) he could know what students of other country do and the level they in, so as to compare with his own students in homeland. All these above will improve the teaching level of the college and university is out of suspect. (这一段写的还是挺好地,例子总结句读很清楚)

Admittedly(这一段好像不适合用这个词,因为你后面的内容与题目忽近忽远,比如说a和b是题目的两点,你这一段写的确是 b1和 b2的关系), as one coin have two sides, too much time spending on the teaching will harm to academic research directed by the professors. Especially some routine in teaching work such as writing teaching routine plan and purposeless summary is a waste of the professors' time and may cause emotional problems which could be brings in research. If it is due to this nonsense teaching work, the professor's routine time in work and research is undermined, it is unworthy.

So, as a conclusion, the entire faculty should spend time working outside the academic world to contribute themselves in teaching work, in order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, but with a proper degree, the standard of which is not to influence the academic research.


感觉LZ 对题目的审查还不是很清楚
不能全文围绕主题来写
还是比较发散

加油,共勉

[ 本帖最后由 H-Kevin 于 2007-7-21 09:45 编辑 ]

gyyxUID: 2290150

我的第一个论点是想写，只是由教授传授给学生会更好些，而且教授应该多关心学生的学习生活（这个我认为就是教学相关的工作，不知道理解的有错没）
第二个是想说，类似于教学经验的交流是很有价值的，能提高教学的质量
第三个是想说，过多的这样的工作都学术研究会有不良的影响

辞不达意，哎，头疼

qawsedUID: 2359935

Issue50 【7.20，期待被砖拍，必回】
I50："In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
2007-7-20

Education, one of the key word of our time, is too much essential in our era. As more and more students go to university to receive further education, the university also advances its education level, through the way that requiring the entire faculty to work outside in relevant to the courses they teach as the author asserts. For which, I totally approve. Although this is a waste of time if in some other view, interaction in this realm will benefit not only education, but the academic world.

As a teacher of school, a professor's reasonability is not research's sake, teaching may be more essential as to train the youth for the society. It is the function of education, the function of all colleges and university, to transmit the youth the best of one's culture, to improve them though creative spirit, and initiate the latest development in science and society. All these will achieve better effects if it is taught by the distinguished professor whose research relevant ??and even who is one of the top talents in the realm. As their great character, the students will be benefited not only in study the curriculum they teach, but also in the character cultivating, if they could draw some time to communicate with the students and even care for them in life. Additionally, some actions if held by the professor will be more popular to students and make them more interested in.

Certainly, teaching blindly only in their school is not enough, intercommunion among university and college in the teaching realm must be emphasized a lot. Organizing actions and participation in is a better way to rich the academic and teaching realm. In a competition去掉just like Mathematical Contest in Modeling, an international competition in world, which many students from different country participate in with their work and the  of which are the head ones in the math, the professor taking part in it, will benefits in many aspects这个句子有问题，好几个谓语了 拆开吧：(1) he could exchange words with the professors all over the world on the academic realm they search and even to be inspired to some extent; (2) he could learn some teaching methods and ways to see how different we teach compared to others, and derive the best to introduce to his own if possible; (3) he could know what students of other country do and the level they in, so as to compare with his own students in homeland. All these above will improve the teaching level of the college and university is out of suspect.这是毋庸质疑的意思吗？你确定就好

Admittedly, as one coin have two sides, too much time spending on the teaching will harm to academic research directed by the professors. Especially some routine in teaching work such as writing teaching routine plan and purposeless summary is a waste of the professors' time a waste of time是个固定短语吧?能加professors’吗？and may cause emotional problems which could be brings –be brought in research. If it is due to this nonsense teaching work, the professor's routine time in work and research is undermined, +and it is unworthy.

So, as a conclusion, the entire faculty should spend time working outside the academic world to contribute themselves in teaching work, in order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, but with a proper degree, the standard of which is not to influence the academic research.另起一句
主要语法错误：逗号无力连接两个句子，要在逗号后面加 and 才可以。你改下文章里类似的错误
另外，一个句子中不能出现两个谓语，接有宾语的才算谓语
其实在好多复杂句之间加点简单句也很好
加油