【8月19号作文】主题：明星隐私------已停拍！！

夜空的彼方UID: 159120

Topic: Are famous people treated unfairly by the media ? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private lives?
（TOPIC来源：雅思版置顶下载贴---写作---IELTS Writing Topics---Topic 2）
DATE: 19th, August  
WORDS: 347
Time: 1 hr 20min
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感谢djconan的修改，有些错误已经做了改正:
第一个invased的确应该改为invaded;
is altered 我想表达的意思是：被修改了，alter有改变的意思，但是我不太确定这个表达是不是合适？
那个comlaints....笔误了...应该是complaints抱怨的意思~

by forbeck
3、  找出几个拼写的问题
4、  无聊的加一笔，例子中要是有体育的明星的更有意思;d:
感谢forbeck的修改，拼写问题的确值得注意，发现的错误已经改掉。
的确是，我所举的例子都是关于娱乐明星的，有体育明星的例子会更全面，更有说服力一些。

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提纲：
第一段---承认名人在很多情况下被侵犯了隐私。提出论点：名人也是人，应该拥有一定程度的隐私，但是作为名人，也必须清楚自己身份所带来的不可避免的隐私曝光问题。
第二段---分析这一现象产生的原因，大众的猎奇心理，辅以媒体的帮助，很多名人抱怨自己几乎没有隐私，造成压力太大，心理失衡（这里举几个明星自杀的例子。。。-_-||）
第三段---明星应不应该有隐私是一个权利和义务的问题，明星也是人，受法律保护，法律有保护个人隐私的条款，不能因为是明星就改变法律的尺度。
第四段---但是，承认明星这一群体有其特殊性，因为经常要在媒体上露面，不可避免的会被侵犯到一些个人隐私，作为明星，应该对此有心理准备；反之作为公众和社会，也应该加强对媒体的监管，不能无条件无限度的以对方是明星就肆意侵犯其隐私。
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It has been a common phonomenon that the privacy of famous people, such as TV and movie stars, are invaded by mass media. In my opinion, the famouse people should, and have right to posses a certain extent.

It is can not deny that, more or less, the public have a characteristic of seeking novelty, what have been added fuel to the fire by mass media, so it is not difficult to explain why more and more famous people often complain that there are nearly no private lives for them, what inevitebly conduce excessive pressures and sometimes, can even lead to more serious results. Take the Princess Diana for example, she was the typical of innocent ones for the mass media, to get away from the chase of Paparazzi, who are typical a group people working for the entertainment magazines, ended her life tragically in a car crash. And such examples are too numerous to mention one by one.

I suggest that people should be aware of, firstly, whether privacy of famous people should be protected is, to a certain extent, a problem in relation with right and obligation. It seems to me that the famouse people are citizens like us, certainly, their rights should be protected by laws. There will have unpredictable consequences if the standard of law is altered according to one's wishes, even these wishes are come from the masses.

Admittedly, famouse people are a special social group, as the particular nature of this vacation, for instance, they must appear in the media like TV shows and films usually, naturally lead to a problem of invasion to privacy. So, he or she had better realize, from the day they entered this stage, to a certain degree, there have high risks that their private lives may be revealed to the public. No complaints, just like solders have possibility to lose lives on the battlefields. Likewise, to the public and society, there should have moral restraint and legislation to restrict the behavior of mass media, there should have bottom line for the exposures of famous people's private lives.

PS：欢迎大家来拍，拍完别忘了放上你的习作链接，有链必回“拍”！

[ 本帖最后由 夜空的彼方 于 2007-8-22 04:17 编辑 ]

zryingUID: 2351633

这个比较狠啊

forbeckUID: 2297645

这个题目我喜欢~~;d:

djconanUID: 2257634

It has been a common phonomenon that the privacy of famous people, such as TV and movie stars, are invased 感觉别扭invaded好一些吧by mass media. In my opinion, the famouse people should, and have right to posses a certain extent private privacy.重复了，一个就好

It is can not deny that, more or less, the public have a characteristic of seeking novelty, what have been added fuel to the fire by mass media, so it is not difficult to expain why more and more famous people often complain that there are nearly no private lives for them, what inevitebly conduce excessive pressures and sometimes, can even induce lead to 比较好more serious results. Take the Princess Diana for example, she was the typical of innocent ones for the mass media, to get away from the chase of Paparazzi, who are typical a group people working for the entertainment magazines, ended her life tragically in a car crash. And such examples are too numerous to mention one by one.

I suggest that people should be aware of, firstly, whether privacy of famous people should be protected is, to a certain extent, a problem in relation with right and obligation. It seems to me that the famouse people are citizens like us, certainly, their rights should be protected by laws. There will have unpredictable consequences if the standard of law is altered 解释一下啥意思according to one's wishes, even these wishes are come from the masses.

Admittedly, famouse people are a special social group, as the particular nature of this vacation, for instance, they must appear in the media like TV shows and films usually, naturally lead to a problem of invasion to privacy.很棒 So, he or she had better relize, from the day they entered this stage, to a certain degree, there have high risks that their private lives may be revealed to the public. No comlaints,不懂啥意思 just like solders have possibility to lose lives on the battlefields.不太合适 Likewise, to the public and society, there should have moral restraint and legislation to restrict the behavior of mass media, there should have bottom line for the exposures of famous people's private lives.
总体不错，就是个别长句不太顺

夜空的彼方UID: 159120

非常感谢djconan的修改！

第一个invased的确应该改为invaded;
is altered 我想表达的意思是：被修改了，alter有改变的意思，但是我不太确定这个表达是不是合适？
那个comlaints....笔误了...应该是complaints抱怨的意思~

djconanUID: 2257634

恩，不错 alter 我反正想不出来别的了

forbeckUID: 2297645

It has been a common phonomenon that the privacy of famous people, such as TV and movie stars, are invaded by mass media. In my opinion, the famouse people should, and have right to posses a certain extent private privacy.(是不是重复了？）

It is can not deny that, more or less, the public have a characteristic of seeking novelty, what have been added fuel to the fire by mass media, so it is not difficult to expain（拼写） why more and more famous people often complain that there are nearly no private lives for them, what inevitebly conduce excessive pressures and sometimes, can even lead to more serious results. Take the Princess Diana for example, she was the typical of innocent ones for the mass media, to get away from the chase of Paparazzi, who are typical a group people working for the entertainment magazines, ended her life tragically in a car crash. And such examples are too numerous to mention one by one.

I suggest that people should be aware of, firstly, whether privacy of famous people should be protected is, to a certain extent, a problem in relation with right and obligation. It seems to me that the famouse people are citizens like us, certainly, their rights should be protected by laws. There will have unpredictable consequences if the standard of law is altered according to one's wishes, even these wishes are come from the masses.

Admittedly, famouse people are a special social group, as the particular nature of this vacation, for instance, they must appear in the media like TV shows and films usually, naturally lead to a problem of invasion to privacy. So, he or she had better relize（拼错？还是其他拼法？）, from the day they entered this stage, to a certain degree, there have high risks that their private lives may be revealed to the public. No complaints, just like solders have possibility to lose lives on the battlefields. Likewise, to the public and society, there should have moral restraint and legislation to restrict the behavior of mass media, there should have bottom line for the exposures of famous people's private lives.

1、  我觉得写得很好:loveliness: ，我想在准备g的人结构和立论就是不一样吧！
2、  尤其最后一段的写法，很值得学习：）
3、  找出几个拼写的问题
4、  无聊的加一笔，例子中要是有体育的明星的更有意思;d:

继续和楼主学习分析和写作~~:handshake

[ 本帖最后由 forbeck 于 2007-8-19 15:30 编辑 ]

牛肉伢子UID: 197768

很不错啊  支持阿

djconanUID: 2257634

你考过gre 阿？怪不得这么强！！！！！羡慕。。。