指导一下作文..555谢谢

jbbvsjzzUID: 2390457

Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words. pictures. music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Diversified spiritual productions have flooded into our society today and have also been influencing people’s lives subconsciously day by day. Though these words, pictures and music or films are the creative crystallizations of artists, there are some negative factors of these works which should still be restricted by the government.

With the development of film industry, each kind of film owns its own audiences. For example, literary movies could satisfy and enrich one’s spiritual world. Action movies could make one’s heart beat up and down as the story goes by in order to relax the nerves from work. So, every kind of film has their own supporters. But, today, more and more people are attracted by some negative movies, such as violence movies. Actually, some artists always add some plots about fighting, murdering, killing, stealing, pornographic and illegal dealing etc in order to play the atmosphere up in the story of the movie. But, many people, especially young people, are doing the things they have watched from the movies in real world. This has lead many people into the wrong way and has badly affected the whole society. So, governments really need to consider on whether some films should be restricted, especially about pornographic, drug dealings and violence.

Of course, creative artists have their own rights to produce their good works and our audiences are always expecting their good works as well. But government also has responsibilities to ensure its social security. Restriction on some negative works of artists’ ideas may also be a reasonable and possible way to make its people far away from misleading.

H-KevinUID: 2182070

发作文请在这里留下链接，有加分
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-724783-1-1.html
同时热心板油（牛儿天空和啦啦啦）会给你修改
如果需要菠萝修改请在这里留下链接https://bbs.gter.net/thread-729183-1-1.html
同时欢迎你也给别人改作文（有加分啊），从而学习别人的长处，更快的提高自己咯

futuremanUID: 2327059

revising..

futuremanUID: 2327059

Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words. pictures. music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Diversified spiritual productions have flooded into our society today and have also been influencing people’s lives subconsciously day by day. Though these words, pictures and music or films are the creative crystallizations of artists, there are some negative factors of these works which should still be restricted by the government. [开头很清晰]

With the development of film industry, each kind of film owns its own audiences. For example, literary movies could satisfy and enrich one’s spiritual world. Action movies could make one’s heart beat up and down as the story goes by in order to relax the nerves from work. So, every kind of film has their own supporters. But, today, more and more people are attracted by some negative movies, such as violence movies. Actually, some artists always add some plots about fighting, murdering, killing, stealing, pornographic and illegal dealing etc in order to play the atmosphere up in the story of the movie. But, many people, especially young people, are doing the things they have watched from the [去掉the]movies in real world. This has lead many people into the wrong way and has badly affected the whole society. So, governments really need to consider on [去掉on]whether some films should be restricted, especially about pornographic, drug dealings and violence.

Of course, creative artists have their own rights to produce their good works and our audiences are always expecting their good works as well. But government also has responsibilities to ensure its social security. Restriction on some negative works of artists’ ideas may also be a reasonable and possible way to make its people far away from misleading.

1.第二段定冠词使用的有点多，注意不该用the 的地方不要乱用
2.语言问题不大，但是你只用movie这一个例子就论证完了艺术，是不完全论证。最好用一般的说理方法，一段写论证艺术家自由表达思想的原因，另一段论证何时政府应当有所限制。Movie可以做一个例子简单说说，不能长篇大论的写。
3.建议重新考虑结构，有必要重写一遍

jbbvsjzzUID: 2390457

恩恩..谢谢菠萝兄,我就是每拿到一个题目就脑子混乱,不知道该写什么,所以每篇文章都写得乱乱的5555555怎么解决哦...555555555十月就考了,好紧张...我这种水平能拿几分哦..55555:(

futuremanUID: 2327059

take care 时间还来得及，多想一想再动笔，要不断反复修改自己的文章，不要追求写作量哦，要写一篇就有一篇的收获
看个这个，不过暂时只有3篇收录  加油;d:
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-729385-1-3.html

jbbvsjzzUID: 2390457

写作文写的头都大了，我每次都要用1个半小时写作文，怎么办哦，时间不够哦。。5555:( :( :( :(