作文一篇!

hildawangUID: 2394142

Many organizations have it own requirement for minimum requirement for a candidate. Some think it is a kind of discrimination. Do you agree or disagree.

Anyone who has ever applied for an organization knows that there is a minimum requirement for a candidate. It tells us who is entitled to apply. However, this is thought by some as a kind of discrimination.  I do not agree with it because I think basic requirement, rather than discrimination, acts as a effective elective technic to help company find the right person and the person find the right career place.

First of all, from the company point of view, nature, thus requirement varies for specific position, so minimum job demand means the essential ability asked of a potential candidate to be capable of that job instead of a limitation. It also means that even if a person successfully made it to the job, he will probably stay long because he is not really qualified enough to do the job. For example, a position which involves the frequent communication with foreign clients will require a high English proficiency. So, HR person may have every reason to reject interview a candidate without such English ability.

Secondly, for an individual, the minimum job demand also tells one what job is suitable for him and what not. Take the common used working experience demand for example. You may say this is unfair, but experience do tell part of the story. This is fully demonstrated by a newly-graduate. He may lack the basic knowledge of working environment which is totally different from university. So a financial graduate is most unlikely to choose a banking credit position which require at lease, say, 5 years of experience. This is not discrimination, but a suitable place for a right person.

From the above discussion, we can see that minimum job entry request has it own reason to exist. It should not be viewed as unjustified but a tool to better match company with job seekers. However, we should ensure it will not become limitation to their ability and talent in career.

ray-dayUID: 2366509

Many organizations have it own requirement for minimum requirement for a candidate. Some think it is a kind of discrimination. Do you agree or disagree.

Anyone who has ever applied for an organization knows that there is a minimum requirement for a candidate. It tells us who is entitled to apply. However, this is thought by some as a kind of discrimination.  I do not agree with it because I think basic requirement, rather than discrimination, acts as a(an)  effective elective technic to help company find the right person and the person find the right career place. （两个right和find可否同意替换一下？）

First of all, from the company point of view, nature, thus（不清楚这里为什么用thus?） requirement varies for specific position , so minimum job demand means the essential ability asked of a potential candidate to be capable of that job instead of a limitation. 开头中心句真赞~~~

It also means that even if a person successfully made it to the job, he will probably stay long because he is not really qualified enough to do the job.

For example, a position which involves the frequent communication with foreign clients will require a high English proficiency. So, HR person may have every reason to reject interview a candidate without such English ability.
第2段的后2句话，由于前一句我理解的模糊，所以不清楚他们之间的联系。楼主如果看到请指教下，谢谢~

Secondly, for an individual, the minimum job demand also tells one what (换成which?) job is suitable for him and what （is）not. Take the common used working experience demand for example. You may say this is unfair, but experience do tell part of the story. This is fully demonstrated by a newly-graduate. He may lack the basic knowledge of working environment which is totally different from university. So a financial graduate is most unlikely to choose a banking credit position which require at lease, say, 5 years of experience. This is not discrimination, but a suitable place for a right person.

From the above discussion, we can see that minimum job entry request has it own reason to exist. It should not be viewed as unjustified but a tool to better match company with job seekers. However, we should ensure it will not become limitation to their ability and talent in career.

通篇整体感觉很好~ 论证比较严密，条理清楚。读完觉得很舒服。向楼主学习拉~~~

hildawangUID: 2394142

先谢谢LS的。自知还有许多不足。。。请多指教！

......acts as a(an)  effective elective technic to help company find the right person and the person find the right career place.替换成：acts as a(an)  effective elective technic to help company pick the right person and the person find the suitable career place.

First of all, from the company point of view, nature, thus requirement varies for specific position 这里的thus可能有些不适合，换成.....nature of a specific position differs, so does its requirment.

futuremanUID: 2327059

revising

futuremanUID: 2327059

Many organizations have it own requirement for minimum requirement for a candidate. Some think it is a kind of discrimination. Do you agree or disagree.

Anyone who has ever applied for an organization knows that there is a minimum requirement for a candidate. It tells us who is entitled to apply. However, this is thought by some as a kind of discrimination.  I do not agree with it because I think basic requirement, rather than discrimination, acts as a effective elective technic[election techniques] to help company find the right person and the person find the right career place.[观点很清晰，good]

First of all, from the company point of view, nature, thus [such as]requirement varies for specific position, so [so?因果？]minimum job demand means the essential ability asked of a potential candidate to be capable of that job instead of a limitation. It also means that even if a person successfully made it[make it 就是succeed，不过make it 是口语词] to the job, he will probably stay long because he is not really qualified enough to do the job.[这句话说反了吧，而且也没有必要说，成功得到工作不就意味着达到最低要求了么，为什么后半句又说没有资格呢？你的思路在这里出现了混乱] For example, a position which involves the frequent communication with foreign clients will require a high English proficiency. So, HR person may have every reason to reject interview a candidate without such English ability. [段末要总结]

Secondly, for an individual, the minimum job demand also tells one what job is suitable for him and what [is]not. Take the common used working experience demand for example. You may say this is unfair, but experience do tell part of the story. This is fully demonstrated by a newly-graduate. He may lack the basic knowledge of working environment which is totally different from university. So a financial graduate is most unlikely to choose a banking credit position which require at lease, say, 5 years of experience. This is not discrimination, but a suitable place for a right person. [这段论证8错]

From the above discussion, we can see that minimum job entry request has it own reason to exist. It should not be viewed as unjustified but a tool to better match company with job seekers. However, we should ensure it will not become limitation to their ability and talent in career.[最后不要however再提出一个新的想法了，这是总结段，要抓住文章论证过的内容]

你第一段提到了discrimination的问题，是不是也应该有一段论证下为什么不是discrimination呢？这样可以完备你的论证。
把握全文逻辑的能力比以前有提高，段内的论证还需要进一步严密，比如第一段。
还有些语言上的问题，很细小，感觉是你语感的问题，比如最后一段better match company with job seekers，这个with让人读得很别扭，很多像这种小的搭配显出你的英文功底不是特别好，但这个也不是一天两天就能解决的。稍微注意一下，不要随心所欲的加一些小词，注意表达要地道。加油~~

hildawangUID: 2394142

修改！！！

Anyone who has ever applied for an organization knows that there is a minimum requirement for a candidate. It tells us who is entitled to apply. However, this is thought by some as a kind of discrimination.  I do not agree with it because I think basic requirement, rather than discrimination, acts as a effective elective election techniques to help company find the right person and the person find the right career place.

First of all, from the company point of view,the requirement of a specific position varies with the difference nature of job. Only the person processed with necessary ability can is eligible for the post.
Imagine a position without any entry level and anyone can lodge application. The result will be horrible:
HR department can do nothing but constantly interview all these candidates. So the function of minimum job demand does not mean to limit the candidate, instead, a clearly defined job requirement increases the efficiency of the whole recruitment process by excluding those who are not competent.

Secondly, for an individual, the minimum job demand also tells one what job is suitable for him and what is not. Take the commonly used working experience demand for example. You may say this is unfair, but experience does tell part of the story. This is fully demonstrated by a newly-graduate. He may lack the basic knowledge of the real working environment which is totally different from university. So a financial graduate is most unlikely to choose a banking credit position which require at lease, say, 5 years of experience. This is not discrimination, but a suitable place for a right person.

From the above discussion, we can conclude that minimum job entry request has it own reason to exist. It should not be viewed as unjustified but a tool to make a good match between company and job seekers, who both benefit from this objective standard.

forbeckUID: 2297645

等下也会来凑热闹;d:

hildawangUID: 2394142

哈哈, 蒙牛真有意思, 欢迎你多提提意见哦:cool:

futuremanUID: 2327059

改的不错 第二段的TS如果用一句话就更简明更好了~~加油吧！;d: