ISSUE2【CLIMATE小组】第一次作业

LeonS.KennedyUID: 194492

ISSUE2 - "Competition is ultimately more beneficial than detrimental to society."

字数：419          用时：00:45:00          日期：2007-11-9 23:58:49

According to the speaker,competition is advantageous to the society.I have to admit that sometimes competition can further accelerate thing’s development.Nevertheless,I think competition is ultimately more detrmental than beneficial to society.

Admittedly,competition is an inborn character of human being.Since the  human being originated,the human being community which consists of countless individuals always brims over with competition owing to Darwin's theory of evolution.It is absolutely decided by the regulation that the fittest survive and the weak are weeded out.So,competition is a normal phenomenon and it tells human being how to live in the earthly world.

In addition,competition in the modern society not only makes people learn the survival skills but also improve the quality of our life.For instance ,competition in science makes the technology develop continuously.Similarly,competition in business urges the enterprises to produce more and more merchandises which own both excellent quality and low price. Then, our daily life becomes more convenient and comfortable due to these kinds of competitions .Even some advances of the human civilization are related to the competition in human being society.

Aside from the foregoing two provisos, however, I fundamentally disagree with the speaker's opinion.As be well known,competition owns dual nature.These competitions happening in the world everyday bring our earthly society even our planet——earth tremendous detriment while they take some benefits to us.

For supporting examples,one is the military competition among different nations .It is seemed that all the adjacent countries will imitate this behaviour , if a country tests a new weapon such as a nuclear bomb.And the  following armament competition which causes by those behaviours will endure for a long period finally .Except being a huge cost and the hidden war hazard,this competition is something of no worth.Another analog is the industry competition.Many people might take it for granted that what brought by industry development must be a epoch of human civilization. However, based on the 4th report of Intergovernmental Panel On Climate Change,from the industrial era,the producing and exploiting activities of human being have exhausted many natural resources, extincted lots of species and made the ecological environment worse than ever before ,just because of the avariciousness of the human being.Besides,the severe warming trend nowadays is also contributed by the human being mostly.To sum up,the similar examples are too numerous to mention individually.

In conclusion,the competitions exist in our human being community have spoilt our essential benefits largely.As a member of the inhabitants of this beautiful planet who own responsibility,human being must face their surrounding circumstance rationally and be engaged in their activities correctly.

[ 本帖最后由 LeonS.Kennedy 于 2007-11-13 09:50 编辑 ]

LeonS.KennedyUID: 194492

ARGUMENT2 - The following appeared in a letter sent by a committee of homeowners from the Deerhaven Acres to all homeowners in Deerhaven Acres.

"Seven years ago, homeowners in nearby Brookville community adopted a set of restrictions on how the community's yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted. Since then, average property values have tripled in Brookville. In order to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres, we should adopt our own set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting."
字数：337          用时：00:30:00          日期：2007-11-5 11:54:22

In this letter ,the committee recommends that homewners in Deerhaven Acres should landscape and paint their houses in order to raise values. However,the assumptions in this letter only render this recommendation wholly unpersuasive as it stands.


Firstly,this recommendation relies on an  unsubstantiated assumption that average property values in Brookville have risen after the homeowners there implement that set of restrictions.No convincing evidence shows that the property values there indeed rose .Thus,this argument lacks thorough credibility.

Secondly,even though the properties in Brookville have become more valuable,which is,of course an unwarranted assumption.We also can not exclude this possibility that the increasing of the values derives from some other reasons but not the adoption of that set of restrictions.For example,there is no guarantee that the Brookville community is located in the central region of the city and the property values there rise quickly in recent years due to the development of real estate market of this city. In that case, the embellishment of the properties were not responsible for the increase in Brookville property values.

Finally,if the committee in Deerhaven Acres wants to raise the property values surely ,it must take more considerations of this matter.First, the location of Deerhaven Acres and the pattern of the properties there may be greatly different from those of Brookville Community. So, that set of restrictions might not be appropriate to the former,even though the increase in Brookville property values is certainly attributable to the implementation of those restrictions. Second, the committee should wildely solicit opinions from the homeowners about the concrete scheme of embellishment.Otherwise,the new exterior appearance might make people unsatisfactory and spoil the property values of the whole community.

To sum up,the committee can not justify its recommendation on the basis of the scant evidence presented in this letter.To convince me that those restrictions are still suitable to the Deerhaven Acres community,the committee must show clear evidence that the properties in Deerhaven Acres bear a close analogy to those in Brookville and the embellishment in Brookville surely makes the values increase erenow.

[ 本帖最后由 LeonS.Kennedy 于 2007-11-10 10:32 编辑 ]

LeonS.KennedyUID: 194492

ARGUMENT3 - The following appeared in a newspaper article about law firms in the city of Megalopolis.

"In Megalopolis, the number of law school graduates who went to work for large, corporate firms declined by 15 percent over the last three years, whereas an increasing number of graduates took jobs at small, general practice firms. Even though large firms usually offer much higher salaries, law school graduates are choosing to work for the smaller firms most likely because they experience greater job satisfaction at smaller firms. In a survey of first-year students at a leading law school, most agreed with the statement that earning a high salary was less important to them than job satisfaction. This finding suggests that the large, corporate firms of Megalopolis will need to offer graduates more benefits and incentives and reduce the number of hours they must work."
字数：334          用时：00:30:00          日期：2007-11-7 12:43:41

In this article,the author recommends that the large,corporate firms in Megalopolis should offer more benefits and incentives and reduce working time in order to attract new graduates.This article is problematic in several respects.

To begin with,the author claims that the new graduates prefer the small firms to the large,corporate firms because the number of new graduates who work there declined by 15% in the past. But no evidence can lend support to this argument .First,this 15% decline does not mean that the total number of graduates working for the large firms over the last three years also declined all over the country.Perhaps the decline only appeared in Megalopolis.To the whole country,most graduates still like to enter the large,corporate firms.Second,even though the decline only appeared here,there is no guarantee that the large,corporate firms can not attract the personnel ,perhaps all the new gradutes in Megalopolis expect to enter the large,corporate firms,but the job opportunities decreased by 15%.

Additionally,the survey which is provided to indicate the occupational preference of the law school students only can undermine the author's recommendation. First,as be well known,the first-year students do not own severe occupational pressure.Moreover,their occupational aims might change during the following three years.Thus, their choices can not be representative of the graduates which face the great employment pressure.Second, it can not participate in this survey on behalf of other law schools as a leading law school.In sum ,the occupational preference of graduate the result of this survey can not reflect the occupational preference of overall pool of graduates that might seek employment in Megalopolis .

Last but not least,the recommendation relies on some false comprehensions concerning job satisfaction.Job satisfaction concerns many aspects of the employment including working environment,salary,well-being and occupational prospect and so on.If the large, corporate firms only offer graduates more benefits and incentives and reduce working hours,it is equal to raise their salary. In that case, the large corporate firms might not surpass the small firms in the aspect of job satisfaction yet .Then,they can not attract the new graduates as before.

In conclusion,the author’s argument can lend little support to his recommendation as it stands.To strengthen it,the author must present more evidence to convince me that graduates prefer small firms and modify his proposal which does not concern job satisfaction but only reward.

fuqdancerUID: 2270607

楼主的思路很清晰，逻辑关系也比较明了，意思表达得清楚明了，在45分钟内完成这样一篇文章，很厉害了，至少我现在还做不到。

还有就是可能水平限制，楼主的一些句子和表达我看得不太明白。

According to the speaker,competition is advantageous to the society.I have to admit that sometimes competition can further accelerate thing’s development.Nevertheless,I think competition is ultimately more detrmental than beneficial to society.

Admittedly,competition is an inborn character of human being.Since the  human being originated(觉得用from the very beginning of human history比较好),the human being community which consists of countless individuals always brims over with competition owing to Darwin's theory of evolution.It is absolutely decided by the regulation that the fittest（stronger）survive (不知道是不是适者生存的意思？因为不确定，所以觉得用stronger妥当点)and the weak(weaker) are weeded out.So,competition is a normal phenomenon and it tells human being how to live in the earthly world.

In addition,competition in the modern society not only makes people learn the survival skills but also improve the quality of our life.For instance ,competition in science makes the technology develop continuously.Similarly,competition in business urges the enterprises to produce more and more merchandises which own both excellent quality and low price. Then, our daily life becomes more convenient and comfortable due to these kinds of competitions .Even some advances of the human civilization are related to the competition in human being society.这句好像和前面逻辑关系联系不大。而且觉得后面好像少了点什么。如果能具些具体的例子在后面来证明advances in human civilization which are come from competition.就更完整了。

Aside from the foregoing two provisos, however, I fundamentally disagree with the speaker's opinion.As be well known（不太明白什么意思）,competition owns dual nature.These competitions happening in the world everyday bring our earthly society even our planet——earth tremendous detriment while they take some benefits to us.

For supporting examples,one is the military competition among different nations .It is seemed that all the adjacent countries will imitate this behaviour , if a country tests a new weapon（conduct a new weapon experiment） such as a nuclear bomb.And the  following armament competition which causes by those behaviours will endure for a long period finally .Except being a huge cost and the hidden war hazard,this (form of)competition is something of no worth(make no sense).Another analog is the industry competition.Many people might take it for granted that what brought by industry development must be a epoch of human civilization(不太明白). However, based on the 4th report of Intergovernmental Panel On Climate Change,from the industrial era,the producing and exploiting activities of human being have exhausted many natural resources, extincted lots of species and made the ecological environment worse than ever before ,just because of the avariciousness of the human being.Besides,the severe（increasingly） warming trend nowadays is also contributed by the human being mostly.To sum up,the similar examples are too numerous to mention individually.

In conclusion,the competitions exist in our human being community have spoilt our essential benefits largely.As a member of the inhabitants of this beautiful planet who own responsibility,human being must face their surrounding circumstance rationally and be engaged in their activities correctly.

强夫UID: 2156262

In this article,the author recommends that the large,corporate firms in Megalopolis should offer more benefits and incentives and reduce working time in order to attract new graduates（不只是吸引，是要将失去的学生吸引回来，我个人觉得应该换个说法）.This article is problematic in several respects.

To begin with,the author claims that the new graduates prefer the small firms to the large,corporate firms because the number of new graduates who work there declined by 15% in the past. But no evidence can lend support to this argument .First,this 15% decline does not mean that the total number of graduates working for the large firms over the last three years also declined all over the country.Perhaps the decline only appeared in Megalopolis.To the whole country,most graduates still like to enter the large,corporate firms(这里有个很大的问题，人家本来就是提议在M地的大公司改变策略，没有提到关于全国的大公司需要这种改革措施).Second,even though the decline only appeared here,there is no guarantee that the large,corporate firms can not attract the personnel ,perhaps all the new gradutes in Megalopolis expect to enter the large,corporate firms,but the job opportunities decreased by 15%.

Additionally,the survey which is provided to indicate the occupational preference of the law school students only can undermine the author's recommendation. First,as be well known,the first-year students do not own severe occupational pressure.Moreover,their occupational aims might change during the following three years.Thus, their choices can not be representative of the graduates which face the great employment pressure.Second, it can not participate in this survey on behalf of other law schools as a leading law school.In sum ,the occupational preference of graduate the result of this survey can not reflect the occupational preference of overall pool of graduates that might seek employment in Megalopolis .

Last but not least,the recommendation relies on some false comprehensions concerning job satisfaction.Job satisfaction concerns many aspects of the employment including working environment,salary,well-being and occupational prospect and so on.If the large, corporate firms only offer graduates more benefits and incentives and reduce working hours,it is equal to raise their salary. In that case, the large corporate firms might not surpass the small firms in the aspect of job satisfaction yet .Then,they can not attract the new graduates as before.

In conclusion,the author’s argument can lend little support to his recommendation as it stands.To strengthen it,the author must present more evidence to convince me that graduates prefer small firms and modify his proposal which does not concern job satisfaction but only reward.

我认为你在句子，语言上没有什么问题。但是我感觉相对不好的就是这篇文章表现出的跟北美范文很大程度上的相似性，主要是指逻辑缺陷上的，你的指出的缺点没有错，但是就是跟范文没有什么区别，以至于有时候觉得不看都晓得你要说什么理由，希望下次能更好！

fuqdancerUID: 2270607

ARGUMENT2
In this letter ,the committee recommends that homewners in Deerhaven Acres should landscape and paint their houses in order to raise values. However,the assumptions in this letter only render this recommendation wholly unpersuasive as it stands.（值得学习一下的精彩的表达）

Firstly,this recommendation relies on an  unsubstantiated assumption that average property values in Brookville have risen after the homeowners there implement that set of restrictions.No convincing evidence shows that the property values there indeed rose .Thus,this argument lacks thorough credibility.
Secondly,even though the properties in Brookville have become more valuable,which is,of course an unwarranted assumption.(不太明白为什么做这个让步，感觉和后面的攻击点逻辑关系不强)We also can not exclude this possibility that the increasing of the values derives from some other reasons but not the adoption of that set of restrictions.For example,there is no guarantee that the Brookville community is located in the central region of the city and the property values there rise quickly in recent years due to the development of real estate market of this city. In that case, the embellishment of the properties were not responsible for the increase in Brookville property values.
Finally,if the committee in Deerhaven Acres wants to raise the property values surely ,it must take more considerations of this matter.First, the location of Deerhaven Acres and the pattern of the properties there may be greatly different from those of Brookville Community. So, that set of restrictions might not be appropriate to the former,even though the increase in Brookville property values is certainly attributable to the implementation of those restrictions. Second, the committee should wildely solicit opinions from the homeowners about the concrete scheme of embellishment.Otherwise,the new exterior appearance might make people unsatisfactory and spoil the property values of the whole community.
To sum up,the committee can not justify its recommendation on the basis of the scant evidence presented in this letter.To convince me that those restrictions are still suitable to the Deerhaven Acres community,the committee must show clear evidence that the properties in Deerhaven Acres bear a close analogy to those in Brookville and the embellishment in Brookville surely makes the values increase erenow.
总的来说，各个逻辑攻击点，楼主都攻击的比较全面。提一个小的意见，在攻击每个逻辑错误点的开头最好直陈错误，这样结构会比较清晰，后面围绕攻击点也比较好展开。

强夫UID: 2156262

觉得你的issue比arg写的有意思，把例子单独列出一段的写作方式很少见，我觉得很不错啊～～～只是这样每次例子都要很充分。但是我觉得你前两点的例子有点笼统，没有实例支持感觉就是纯理论的说。如果你不同意前面应该把前两个合到一起写，不同意的理由可以再多写点，这样构成两点更好，这样会显得比较丰满，因为你不同意貌似就是对环境的影响，那个人呢，你在上面的竞争优点都提到了个人似乎应该点一下对个人的影响，比如会造成完美主义者心态之类