Issue185【0806G desperado小组】第2篇

gaojiehahaUID: 2149729

------题目------
Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.
------正文------464 words
提纲：丑闻能暴露演说者和改革者不会暴露的问题，因此它是有用的。丑闻大多由大众媒体暴露，大众媒体对丑闻的暴料要有选择性和客观性。
1 丑闻能发现问题，解决问题（会计类丑闻）
2 害怕丑闻所以注意提高形象。
3 但有时丑闻会使大家忽略更重要的事情

In this era of rapid mass media's universal and informational technology's advancement, scandals, once was a new word decades years ago, gradually get into our daily life and is familiared by us progressively. Scandals is recognized useful for that it could reveal problems in ways that speaker or reformer could not. Nevertheless, sometimes scandals would let people to neglect more important things.

Scandals is good to supervise the society or the community to move, progress and develop towards a healthy and correct direction. It is known that scandals is a publicized incident that brings about disgrace or offends the moral sensibilities of soceity. With the report of scandals, we would take our attention on problems of society or community that otherwise would neglect, and then coutribute to a social effect to solve the relevant problems. One of the paradigmatic example is the Enrongate scandal. At the beginning of the scandal, the America suffer one of the greatest crashes in corporate and economic history, thousand of employees are dismissed, decades of billions dollars became nothing. However, in retrospect the scandal forever increased the strength of financial scutiny and accountability to which public officials are held, thereby maintaining a significant and lasting benefit to our society. Since the American high classes could be entangled and involved in the Enrongate scandal, no public speaker or reformer could stand out to uncover this problem til scandal is revealed.

Additionally, most areas start to improve their public performances for fearing of scandals. For negative effects of scandals, such as reputation lose, credit danger, financial difficulities and so on, people take the scandals seriously. In this aspect, scandals act as an alarm reminding people to think twice before act, especially when any of the great temptation arrived. For example, since the president Clinton sex scandal is exposed, the American presidents after him will aviod such kind of thing happen by abstinence.  Although kinds of scandals are still surging out, undoubtly, scandals' appearance restrains many might-have-been scandals.

Despite scandals can focus our attention to certain social problems, sovle the relevant problems, and avoid some problems in our society, scandals sometimes aviod us from achieveing more important informations. Scandals are everywhere, if we do not exclude some scandals which do not have much sense, we will be immersed in the information of scandal ocean. In other words, other far more important issues will be overlooked. For an instance, mass media's numerous reports of movie star's sex scandals would make no sense and diverse people's attentioness from community safety, healthy problems and so on.

In sum up, whether in business, politics, or other areas, scandals could give an impetus to social develpoment from another perspectives other than public speakers' and reformers'. However, effective selection of good scandals is also important.

hongdanUID: 2228730

In this era of rapid mass media's universal and informational technology's advancement, scandals, once was a new word decades years ago, gradually get into our daily life and is familiared(改为become familiar with us是不是更好？) by us progressively. Scandals is（are） recognized useful for that it could reveal problems in ways that speaker or reformer could not. Nevertheless, sometimes scandals would let people to（去掉to） neglect more important things.

Scandals is（are） good to supervise the society or the community to move, progress and develop towards a healthy and correct direction. It is known that scandals is a publicized incident that brings about disgrace(disgracing) or offends(offending) the moral sensibilities of soceity. With the report of scandals, we would take our attention on problems of society or community that otherwise would neglect, and then contribute to a social effect to solve the relevant problems. （改成这样使不能更好些With the report of scandals, we will focus our attention on problems, either of society or community, that otherwise would neglect. Accordingly, a social effect will be imposed and contribute to the effective solvent of the relevant problems）One of the paradigmatic example is the Enrongate scandal. At the beginning of the scandal, the America suffer one of the greatest crashes in corporate and economic history, thousand of employees are dismissed, decades of billions dollars became nothing. However, in retrospect the scandal forever increased the strength of financial scrutiny and accountability to which public officials are held, thereby maintaining a significant and lasting benefit to our society. Since the American high classes could be entangled and involved in the Enrongate scandal, no public speaker or reformer could stand out to uncover this problem til(till) scandal is revealed.(这个例子好！)

Additionally, most areas start to improve their public performances for fearing of scandals.（这个想法好！） For negative effects of scandals, such as reputation lose, credit danger, financial difficulities and so on, people take the scandals seriously. In this aspect, scandals act as an alarm reminding people to think twice before act, especially when any of the great temptation arrived（什么意思看不明白，JENNY能解释一下吗？）. For example, since the president Clinton sex scandal is exposed, the American presidents after him will aviod such kind of thing happen by abstinence（这个词组的意思是什么呀，不明白）.  Although kinds of scandals are still surging out, undoubtly, scandals' appearance restrains many might-have-been（这个词很好，学习了） scandals.

Despite scandals can focus our attention to certain social problems, sovle(solve) the relevant problems, and avoid some problems in our society, scandals sometimes aviod us from achieveing（achieving）more important informations(information). Scandals are everywhere, if we do not exclude some scandals which do not have much sense, we will be immersed(范文里常用bogged down，呵呵。换换或许更好) in the information of scandal ocean. In other words, other far more important issues will be overlooked. For an instance, mass media's numerous reports of movie star's sex scandals would make no sense and diverse people's attentioness from community safety, healthy problems and so on.

In sum up, whether in business, politics, or other areas, scandals could give an impetus to social develpoment（development） from another perspectives(perspective) other than public speakers' and reformers'. However, effective selection of good scandals is also important.
总体感觉，思路很清晰，各段的意思基本表达得很清楚。
这篇文章的例子很好，很典型。我觉得第二点“害怕丑闻所以注意提高形象。”这个思想很好，很值得借鉴。
可能这篇文章再把语言润色一下就更好了。
还有这篇文章的语法错误，比如单复数，拼写错误可能有些多了。
只能改这些了，写得很不错。



[ 本帖最后由 hongdan 于 2007-12-9 23:35 编辑 ]

gaojiehahaUID: 2149729

提纲：丑闻能暴露演说者和改革者不会暴露的问题，因此它是有用的。但有时候对丑闻的关注分散人们的注意力,浪费财力,对丑闻的报道要有选择性。
1 丑闻能发现问题，解决问题（会计类丑闻）
2 害怕丑闻所以注意提高形象。
3 但有时丑闻会分散大家注意力,使大家忽略更重要的事情,有时甚至浪费财力,对丑闻报道要有选择性


In this era of rapid mass media's universal and informational technology's advancement, scandals, once were new words decades years ago, gradually get into our daily life and become familiar with us. Scandals are recognized useful for that it could reveal problems in ways that speakers or reformers could not. Nevertheless, sometimes scandals would let people neglect more important things.

Scandals are good to supervise the society or the community to move, progress and develop towards a healthy and correct direction. It is known that scandals is a publicized incident that brings about disgrace or offends the moral sensibilities of soceity. With the report of scandals, we will focus our attention on problems, either of society or community, that otherwise would neglect. Accordingly, a social effect will be imposed and contribute to the effective solvent of the relevant problems.(喜欢hongdan改的这句)One of the paradigmatic example is the Enrongate scandal. At the beginning of the scandal, the America suffer one of the greatest crashes in corporate and economic history, thousand of employees are dismissed, decades of billions dollars became nothing. However, in retrospect the scandal forever increased the strength of financial scrutiny and accountability to which public officials are held, thereby maintaining a significant and lasting benefit to our society. Since the American high classes could be entangled and involved in the Enrongate scandal, no public speaker or reformer could stand out to uncover this problem till(til是胡麻的意思) scandal is revealed.

Additionally, most areas start to improve their public performances for fearing of scandals. For negative effects of scandals, such as reputation lose, credit danger, financial difficulities and so on, people take the scandals seriously. In this aspect, scandals act as an alarm reminding people to think twice before act, especially when any great temptation arrived（to hongdan:当大的诱惑来临时提醒人们三思而后行。不晓得英文表达的对不。有达人指出来吗？）. For example, since the president Clinton sex scandal is exposed, the American presidents after him will aviod such kind of thing happen.  Although kinds of scandals are still surging out, undoubtly, scandals' appearance restrains many might-have-been scandals.

Despite scandals can focus our attention to certain social problems, solve the relevant problems, and avoid some problems in our society, scandals sometimes aviod us from achieving more important information(单复同形). Scandals are everywhere, if we do not exclude some scandals which do not have much sense, we will be immersed/bogged down in the information of scandal ocean. In other words, other far more important issues will be overlooked. For an instance, mass media's numerous reports of movie star's sex scandals would make no sense and diverse people's attentioness from more urgent things, such as community safety, healthy problems and so on.

In sum up, whether in business, politics, or other areas, scandals could give an impetus to social development from another perspective other than public speakers' and reformers'. However, effective selection of good scandals is also important.

单复数，拼写错误多

It is known that scandals is a publicized incident that brings about disgrace or offends the moral sensibilities of soceity.
带来不光彩或触犯社会道德标准的公开事件.disgrace和offends the moral sensibilities of soceity是2个并列

[ 本帖最后由 gaojiehaha 于 2007-12-10 05:41 编辑 ]

yzhxinerUID: 2422010

In this era of rapid mass media's universal and informational technology's advancement, scandals, once was a new word decades years ago, gradually get into our daily life and is familiared (with) by us progressively. Scandals is recognized useful for that(删去比较好) it could reveal problems in ways that speaker or reformer could not. Nevertheless, sometimes scandals would let people to neglect more important things.

Scandals is good to supervise the society or the community to move(没看明白), progress and development towards a healthy and correct direction. It is known that scandalsis（are 主语是负数，宾语是单数） a publicized incident that brings(及物动词后面不需要介词吧)about disgrace or offends the moral sensibilities of soceity. With the report of scandals, we would take our attention on problems of society or community that otherwise（这儿要有个主语吧）would neglect, and then coutribute to a social effect to solve the relevant problems. One of the paradigmatic example is the Enrongate scandal. At the beginning of the scandal, the America suffer one of the greatest crashes in corporate and economic history, thousand of employees are dismissed, decades of billions dollars became nothing. However, in retrospect the scandal forever increased the strength of financial scutiny and accountability to which public officials are held, thereby maintaining a significant and lasting benefit to our society. Since the American high classes could be entangled and involved in the Enrongate scandal, no public speaker or reformer could stand out to uncover this problem til scandal is revealed.

Additionally, most areas start to improve their public performances for fearing of scandals. For negative effects of scandals, such as reputation lose, credit danger, financial difficulities and so on, people take（over?）the scandals seriously. In this aspect, scandals act as an alarm reminding people to think twice before act, especially when any of the great temptation arrived. For example, since the president Clinton sex scandal is exposed, the American presidents after him will aviod such kinds of thingshappening by abstinence.  Although kinds of scandals are still surging out, undoubtly, scandals' appearance restrains many might-have-been scandals.

Despite scandals can focus our attention to certain social problems, sovle the relevant problems, and avoid some problems in our society, scandals sometimes avoid us from achieving more important information. Scandals are everywhere, if we do not exclude some scandals which do not have much sense, we will be immersed in the information of scandal ocean. In other words, other far more important issues will be overlooked. For an instance, mass media's numerous reports of movie star's sex scandals would make no sense and diverse people's attentioness from community safety, health problems and so on.

In sum up(in sum or to sum up?), whether in business, politics, or other areas, scandals could give an impetus to social develpoment from another perspectives other than public speakers' and reformers'. However, effective selection of good scandals is also important.

文章条理清楚，语言上还需修改


[ 本帖最后由 yzhxiner 于 2007-12-10 08:13 编辑 ]

yzhxinerUID: 2422010

In this era of rapid mass media's universal and informational technology's advancement, scandals, once was a new word decades years ago, gradually get into our daily life and is familiared (with) by us progressively. Scandals is recognized useful for that(删去比较好) it could reveal problems in ways that speaker or reformer could not. Nevertheless, sometimes scandals would let people to neglect more important things.

Scandals is good to supervise the society or the community to move(没看明白), progress and development towards a healthy and correct direction. It is known that scandalsis（are 主语是负数，宾语是单数） a publicized incident that brings(及物动词后面不需要介词吧)about disgrace or offends the moral sensibilities of soceity. With the report of scandals, we would take our attention on problems of society or community that otherwise（这儿要有个主语吧）would neglect, and then coutribute to a social effect to solve the relevant problems. One of the paradigmatic example is the Enrongate scandal. At the beginning of the scandal, the America suffer one of the greatest crashes in corporate and economic history, thousand of employees are dismissed, decades of billions dollars became nothing. However, in retrospect the scandal forever increased the strength of financial scutiny and accountability to which public officials are held, thereby maintaining a significant and lasting benefit to our society. Since the American high classes could be entangled and involved in the Enrongate scandal, no public speaker or reformer could stand out to uncover this problem til scandal is revealed.

Additionally, most areas start to improve their public performances for fearing of scandals. For negative effects of scandals, such as reputation lose, credit danger, financial difficulities and so on, people take（over?）the scandals seriously. In this aspect, scandals act as an alarm reminding people to think twice before act, especially when any of the great temptation arrived. For example, since the president Clinton sex scandal is exposed, the American presidents after him will aviod such kinds of thingshappening by abstinence.  Although kinds of scandals are still surging out, undoubtly, scandals' appearance restrains many might-have-been scandals.

Despite scandals can focus our attention to certain social problems, sovle the relevant problems, and avoid some problems in our society, scandals sometimes avoid us from achieving more important information. Scandals are everywhere, if we do not exclude some scandals which do not have much sense, we will be immersed in the information of scandal ocean. In other words, other far more important issues will be overlooked. For an instance, mass media's numerous reports of movie star's sex scandals would make no sense and diverse people's attentioness from community safety, health problems and so on.

In sum up(in sum or to sum up?), whether in business, politics, or other areas, scandals could give an impetus to social develpoment from another perspectives other than public speakers' and reformers'. However, effective selection of good scandals is also important.

文章条理清楚，语言上还需修改

yzhxinerUID: 2422010

晕阿，我明明用红色标注的，发上来就变成黑色了