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[i习作temp] Issue51 [Jet小组}第三次作业 求砖猛拍 [复制链接]

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发表于 2008-2-3 18:26:02 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Issue51
"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

Needs and interests 混为一谈?
第三段论述混乱 似乎可以借鉴专才-通才的文章


It is widely accepted that education is an important and useful way to assist a nation being proper as well as to help individual's career being successful. So how to educate effectively is a question which receives much attention. There is no doubt about that interests and needs can prompt students. Thus, many people believe our education should be designed totally according to students’ desires in order to be effective. However, it is an arbitrary conclusion. Although interests and personal needs can encourage students, taking only these factors into accounts will bring problems to both the individuals and the society.

I admit that interest is the best "teacher" under many conditions. After all, people are more willing to do what they like. And so people's potential and inspiration can be inspired when they put their hearts in them. Just imagine what would happen if Picasso was forced to study science or Einstein was pushed to learn painting-we are much likely to lose a great painter along with a great scientist. Actually, it is personal interests that drive Einstein continued to study physics when he was working in the patent office in Swiss. Similarly the individual needs also play important roles in promoting the process of learning. Hence, when an education plan is set, it is necessary to consider the interests and the needs of the people who will receive it.

Yet, students can hardly count all the knowledge that will need in future. Generally speaking, there may be two trends: the students would probably avoid learning the courses which are hard or which they dislike but otherwise essential; or they would only choose the courses about the area they like, but overlook others. These two trends are both dangerous. The reality shows us that success needs not only deep understanding in one specific area but also wide acquaintances over many disciplines. And it is why our society set both fundamental education and higher education-students are asked to learn fundamental and essential knowledge in the former, and then they are able to study the very area they like in the latter. Besides, the resolving of question often needs knowledge of different disciplines. If we allow the students only study the narrow knowledge they want to master, they cannot resolve the complex problem in true-life.

Another thing to which we should pay attention is the aim of receiving education is far more than just acquiring knowledge. The International Commission on Education for the Twenty-first Century concluded that education bases upon four pillars: learning to know, learn to do, learning to live together and learning to be. The tragedy happened in Virginia Tech call us education cannot be equal to learning to know. Students should also learn how to communicate, how to work together and how to live in the society. These aims can hard by reached only by individual's interest and needs-they demand the guide by students' parents, teachers and the whole society.

And finally, there are some restrictions which limit the development of education, so that we are not able to fulfill everyone's needs. For example, in developing countries like China, the education expenditure is too short to make sure every child will receive education and no mention that meet each student's require.

In sum, we should find a balance between the individual interest and need and the reality of society rather than just consider one-sided. It is the best way that makes our education more effective.

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沙发
发表于 2008-2-3 23:52:03 |只看该作者
It is widely accepted that education is an important and useful way to assist a nation being proper as well as to help individual's career being successful. So how to educate effectively is a question which receives much attention. There is no doubt about that interests and needs can prompt students. Thus, many people believe our education should be designed totally according to students’ desires in order to be effective.(感觉有些啰嗦,而且可以放到后面的BODY里面) However, it is an arbitrary conclusion. Although interests and personal needs can encourage students, taking only these factors into accounts will bring problems to both the individuals and the society.

I admit that
admittedlyinterest is the best "teacher" under many conditions. After all, people are more willing to do what they like. And so people's     potential and inspiration can be inspired when they put their hearts in them. Just imagine what would happen if Picasso was forced to study science or Einstein was pushed to learn painting-we are much likely to lose a great painter along with a great scientist. Actually, it is personal interests that drive Einstein continued to study physics when he was working in the patent office in Swiss.(好) Similarly (?) the individual needs also play important roles in promoting the process of learning.(如果没有例子支持,到不如去掉ALSO,而作为对上面例子的分析) Hence, when an education plan is set, it is necessary to consider the interests and the needs of the people who will receive it.
Yet, students can hardly count all the knowledge that will need in future. Generally speaking, there may be two trends: the students would probably avoid learning the courses which are hard or which they dislike but otherwise essential; or they would only choose the courses about the area they like, but overlook others. These two trends are both dangerous. The reality shows us that success needs not only deep understanding in one specific area but also wide            acquaintances over many disciplines. And it is why our society set both fundamental education and higher education-students are asked to learn fundamental and essential knowledge in the former, and then they are able to study the very area they like in the latter. (有点啰嗦,有点乱)Besides, the resolving of question often needs knowledge of different disciplines. If we allow the students only study the narrow knowledge they want to master, they cannot resolve the complex problem in true-life. (可以具体点)
【总的来说前面的2trend很好,后面可以直接从正面说明基础学科的好处,正反论证】Another thing to which we should pay attention is that the aim of receiving education is far more ? than just acquiring knowledge. The International Commission on Education for the Twenty-first Century concluded that education bases upon four pillars: learning to know, learn to do, learning to live together and learning to be. The tragedy happened in Virginia Tech call us education cannot be equal to learning to know. Students should also learn how to communicate, how to work together and how to live in the society. These aims can hard by reached only by individual's interest and needs-they demand the guide by students' parents, teachers and the whole society.(凭什么,为什么,希望解释说明下)

And finally, there are some restrictions which limit the development of education, so that we are not able to fulfill everyone's needs. For example, in developing countries like China, the education expenditure is too short to make sure every child will receive education and no mention that meet each student's require.In sum, we should find a balance between the individual interest and need and the reality of society rather than just consider one-sided. It is the best way that makes our education more effective.


给个建议:如果说了,就要尽量展开去说,争取说投



还有,提纲。。。


[ 本帖最后由 wy86917 于 2008-2-4 00:18 编辑 ]
不抛弃,不放弃

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板凳
发表于 2008-2-4 00:32:45 |只看该作者
It is widely accepted that education is an important and useful way to assist a nation being proper(prosperity) as well as to help individual's career being successful. So how to educate effectively is a question which receives much attention. There is no doubt about(去掉about) that interests and needs can prompt students. Thus, many people believe our education should be designed totally according to students’ desires in order to be effective. However, it is an arbitrary conclusion. Although interests and personal needs can encourage students, taking only these factors into accounts(account) will bring problems to both the individuals and the society.

I admit that interest is the best "teacher" under many conditions. After all, people are more willing to do what they like. And so people's potential and inspiration can be inspired when they put their hearts in them. Just imagine what would happen if Picasso was forced to study science or Einstein was pushed to learn painting-we are much likely to(we would ) lose a great painter along with a great scientist. Actually, it is personal interests that drive(drived) Einstein continued (continue)to study physics when he was working in the patent office in Swiss. Similarly, the individual needs also play important roles in promoting the process of learning. Hence, when an education plan is set, it is necessary to consider the interests and the needs of the people who will receive it.


Yet, students can hardly count all the knowledge that will need in future. Generally speaking, there may be two trends: the students would probably avoid learning the courses which are hard or which they dislike but otherwise essential; or they would only choose the courses about the area they like, but overlook others. (一是回避难的和自己不喜欢的,二是只选自己喜欢的?我觉得这只是说法不一样实质是一样的,不能看作两种选择趋势,不知你是否赞同喔)These two trends are both dangerous. The reality shows us that success needs not only deep understanding in one specific area but also wide acquaintances over many disciplines. And it is why our society set both fundamental education and higher education-students are asked to learn fundamental and essential knowledge in the former, and then they are able to study the very area they like in the latter. Besides, the resolving of question often needs knowledge of different disciplines. If we allow the students only study the narrow knowledge they want to master, they cannot resolve the complex problem in true-life.

Another thing to which we should pay attention is the aim of receiving education is far more than just acquiring knowledge. The International Commission on Education for the Twenty-first Century concluded that education bases upon four pillars: learning to know, learn to do, learning to live together and learning to be. The tragedy happened in Virginia Tech call us education cannot be equal to learning to know. Students should also learn how to communicate, how to work together and how to live in the society. These aims can hard by reached only by individual's interest and needs-they demand the guide by students' parents, teachers and the whole society.  提出了不错的观点,但是没有证明针对个人需要和兴趣的教育做不到这一点。

And finally, there are some restrictions which limit the development of education, so that we are not able to fulfill everyone's needs. For example, in developing countries like China, the education expenditure is too short to make sure that every child will (can)receive education and no(not to) mention that meet each student's require.

In sum, we should find a balance between the individual interest and need and the reality of society rather than just consider one-sided. It is the best way that makes our education more effective.

对于这一道题目,我的看法是个人兴趣和需要不能混为一谈,个人需要不仅仅只是主观需要,还包括客观需要。不是what the individual want 而是what the individual really need whether he or she concede or not. 这个是我写的i51,欢迎你们拍哦
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=797452&page=1&extra=page%3D1#pid1771383917

[ 本帖最后由 zephyrqq 于 2008-2-4 00:35 编辑 ]
6G成功~~

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地板
发表于 2008-2-4 16:06:22 |只看该作者
怎么变成jet小组的了?~~

It iswidely accepted that education is an important and useful way to assista nation being proper as well as to help individual's career beingsuccessful. So how to educate effectively is a question which receivesmuch attention.[值得学习的开头,对题干的把握很到位啊~~学习中~] There is no doubt about [删掉] that interests and needs canprompt students. Thus, many people believe our education should bedesigned totally according to students’ desires in order to beeffective. However, it is an arbitrary conclusion. Although interestsand personal needs can encourage students, taking only these factorsinto accounts will bring problems to both the individuals and thesociety.[鼓励一句话的论点]


I admitthat interest is the best "teacher" under many conditions. After all,people are more willing to do what they like. And so people's potentialand inspiration can be inspired when they put their hearts in them.Just imagine what would happen if Picasso was forced to study scienceor[science] Einstein was pushed to learn painting-we are much likely to lose agreat painter along with a great scientist. [值得学习的例子]Actually, it is personalinterests that drive Einstein continued to study physics when he wasworking in the patent office in Swiss. Similarly the individual needsalso play important roles in promoting the process of learning. Hence,when an education plan is set, it is necessary to consider theinterests and the needs of the people who will receive it.[这个转折稍显无力度,与其强调固定的教育计划,不如强调前面例子中的人的特殊性。他们只是少数能凭借兴趣完成教育并获得成果的人。]

Yet,students can hardly count all the knowledge that will need in future.Generally speaking, there may be two [加个main吧,因为还有很多其他的趋势] trends: the students wouldprobably avoid learning the courses which are hard or which theydislike but otherwise essential; or they would only choose the coursesabout the area they like, but overlook others. These two trends areboth dangerous. The reality shows us that success needs not only deepunderstanding in one specific area but also wide acquaintances overmany disciplines. And it is why our society set both fundamentaleducation and higher education-students are asked to learn fundamentaland essential knowledge in the former, and then they are able to studythe very area they like in the latter. Besides, the resolving ofquestion often needs knowledge of different disciplines. If we allowthe students only study the narrow knowledge they want to master, theycannot resolve the complex problem in true-life.
这一段,道理已经讲明白了,剩下的就是举例证明,仅凭兴趣会导致哪些问题,一个例子就够了。

Anotherthing to which we should pay attention is the aim of receivingeducation is far more than just acquiring knowledge. The InternationalCommission on Education for the Twenty-first Century concluded thateducation bases upon four pillars: learning to know, learn to do,learning to live together and learning to be.[这句实在是权威得要死啊,背也要背下来~] The tragedy happened inVirginia Tech call us education cannot be equal to learning to know.Students should also learn how to communicate, how to work together andhow to live in the society. These aims can hard by reached only byindividual's interest and needs-they demand the guide by students'parents, teachers and the whole society.
有个问题需要阐明的是,个人兴趣很有可能也是想多交朋友,或者旅游什么的,而不仅仅是需要。
作者的意思是一些必须学习的知识可能既不是个人兴趣范畴,也不是个人需要范畴,但是事实上,作者列举的例子可能都是有人感兴趣的。
(不知道我说清楚没有~欢迎交流)


Andfinally, there are some restrictions which limit the development ofeducation, so that we are not able to fulfill everyone's needs. Forexample, in developing countries like China, the education expenditureis too short to make sure every child will receive education and nomention that meet each student's require.

In sum, weshould find a balance between the individual interest and need and thereality of society rather than just consider one-sided. It is the bestway that makes our education more effective.[一句话就解决了本来需要一段话来阐述的关于教育有效性的问题,不知道好还是不好阿~]

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
个人总结:
很喜欢作者的用词和表达,看起来很舒服哈~
作者在段落中的论点稍微有点弱,不是很突出。
结尾的建议段落最好展开吧,因为对题干的论述有帮助。


[ 本帖最后由 Rainy1423 于 2008-2-4 17:37 编辑 ]

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发表于 2008-2-4 17:41:27 |只看该作者
Yet, students can hardly count all the knowledge that will need in future. Generally speaking, there may be two trends: the students would probably avoid learning the courses which are hard or which they dislike but otherwise essential; or they would only choose the courses about the area they like, but overlook others. These two trends are both dangerous. The reality shows us that success needs not only deep understanding in one specific area but also wide acquaintances over many disciplines. And it is why our society set both fundamental education and higher education-students are asked to learn fundamental and essential knowledge in the former, and then they are able to study the very area they like in the latter. Besides, the resolving of question often needs knowledge of different disciplines. If we allow the students only study the narrow knowledge they want to master, they cannot resolve the complex problem in true-life.


我想说一下段的观点和内容的问题
观点是students can hardly count all the knowledge that will need in future,不能掌握所有知识
然后应该写为什么不能掌握,或者带来的危害之类的
然而后文写到了学生的两种应对方法,和这个社会需要深度学习和广度学习,最后写到解决方法就是要学习所有的知识,不然……
我觉得这段有点问题。






顺便说说我的想法
我觉得我写作的时候总是回因为英文的表达而影响自己的思路,其实想的好好的就是一些成英文就没有词了,所以我觉得还是提纲用中文的写号
而其每一段的中心和论证方法写清楚,这样就不会出现不知道说什么的情况了
没词写的时候会经常从各个地方找理由,就会出现上面主题不清晰的情况了!
加油吧,也许用中文写一两片gre作文可能对你有用!
祝你好运!

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RE: Issue51 [Jet小组}第三次作业 求砖猛拍 [修改]

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