Issue51 [Jet小组}第三次作业 ,写了好久。。。

hao3361UID: 2405848

我第一次完整的写Issue，写了近三个小时，首先不太会破题，参考了好多人的提纲，确定了提纲又不大能写出东西，一点一点往出挤，还参考了两篇网友的范文，倒数第二段是我完全抄的例子，因为我实在想不出写什么了，望大家给点意见，你们骂我都行，请留言！！

TOPIC: ISSUE51 - "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
WORDS: 530          TIME: 02:51:38          DATE: 2008-2-4 3:49:13
提纲：
中立观点
1 首先发展兴趣很重要，能促进学习动力
2  一旦兴趣没有被挖掘，很可能导致人生的失败
3  然而，不能过分强调兴趣，基础学科的建设也很重要
4  有时 ，才能比当初的兴趣更重要


Apparently, when the education is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, it will be quite effective. But there is no need for us to emphasize the interests too much, which would bring counterproductive effects both on the students and the society.

There is the saying "interest is the best teacher", which strongly illustrate that how important the interest is in figuring a person. If a student who find her interests in a field, she will have a passion and more hard work which will lead to a successful career and a sense of achievement, no matter how difficult it is going to be. On the contrary, if a person has a little interest in a subject, then she will become much easier to give it up when she is trapped in the morass. Furthermore, it is common sense in our classrooms when students find the lessons repulsive, they are bound to lose their momentum in learning and the efficiency is predestined to decline. Thus it is indispensable for educators to inspire their interests of learning and motivate them to pursue the more abstruse and advanced knowledge. Therefore, designed the curricula to meet the individual needs is always effective.

If a student  miss the chance to discover he or she real interest during the year in school or colleges because of some other realistic factor such as salary and family pressure, he or she may not have the opportunity to be successful. What would happen if Chopin went to law school and Bohr has studied medicine?

However, overemphasis on interests might be counterproductive. Any learning of individual courses need a basic knowledge background. If you like history, you should have language skills to understand the historic materials; If you prefer to science, you'd better do well in maths. So a certain courses should  be compulsory to students no matter what occupation they will engage in while early specifically design will do harm to their future development. A better solution will be to supply the same basic curriculums and at the same time give them a large spectrum of optional courses and activities where they may  find their real interests and learn the skills as well as pleasure.

Further, in some cases, one's capacity is much more important then his or her interests. This is especially true when one does not well in his favored field but has a gift to do some other things. Take the outstanding Russian mathematician Kolmogorov for example. He is a leading figure in the history of twentieth century's mathematics. When he was only a child, he was absorbed in the history books and magazines. However, his first  paper on history in university got bad appraisal for the reason that he listed only one evidence to buttress his conclusion. After being aware that one correct evidence rather than three or more is enough in mathematics, he changed his major to math and make amazing contributions in this area.

In conclusion, we should find a better balance between the interests which need more specifical design and the basic education which may lead to a higher capacity. It is unrealistic to ignore any one of them..

huangli711UID: 2451421

TOPIC: ISSUE51 - "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
WORDS: 530          TIME: 02:51:38          DATE: 2008-2-4 3:49:13
提纲：
中立观点
1 首先发展兴趣很重要，能促进学习动力
2  一旦兴趣没有被挖掘，很可能导致人生的失败
3  然而，不能过分强调兴趣，基础学科的建设也很重要
4  有时 ，才能比当初的兴趣更重要


Apparently, when the education is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, it will be quite effective. But there is no need for us to emphasize the interests too much, which would bring counterproductive effects both on the students and the society.简明扼要，挺好的。

There is the saying "interest is the best teacher", which strongly illustrate that how important the interest is in figuring a person. If a student who find her interests in a field, she will have a passion and more hard work， which will lead to a successful career and a sense of achievement,（wich 引导限定性定语从句，用逗号隔开，或者用that 不用逗号） no matter how difficult it is going to be. On the contrary, if a person has （a,a little 代表还有一点，little 表示否定含义哦） little interest in a subject, then she will become much easier to give it up when she is trapped in the morass. Furthermore, it is common sense in our classrooms when students find the lessons repulsive, they are bound to lose their momentum in learning and the efficiency is predestined to decline. Thus it is indispensable for educators to inspire their interests of learning and motivate them to pursue the more abstruse and advanced knowledge. Therefore, designed the curricula to meet the individual needs is always effective.

If a student  miss the chance to discover he or she real interest during the year in school or colleges because of some other realistic factor such as salary and family pressure, he or she may not have the opportunity to be successful. （这里缺少逻辑论证，+because hardly one can focus his attention on what he thought boring, no say work hard on it.）What would happen if Chopin went to law school and Bohr has studied medicine?

However, overemphasis on interests might be counterproductive. Any learning of individual courses need a basic knowledge background. If you like history, you should have language skills to understand the historic materials; If you prefer to science, you'd better do well in maths. So a certain courses should  be compulsory to students no matter what occupation they will engage in while early specifically design will do harm to their future development. A better solution will be to supply the same basic curriculums and at the same time give them a large spectrum of optional courses and activities where they may  find their real interests and learn the skills as well as pleasure.

Further, in some cases, one's capacity is much more important then his or her interests. This is especially true when one does not well in his favored field but has a gift to do some other things. Take the outstanding Russian mathematician Kolmogorov for example. He is a leading figure in the history of twentieth century's mathematics. When he was only a child, he was absorbed in the history books and magazines. However, his first  paper on history in university got bad appraisal for the reason that he listed only one evidence to buttress his conclusion. After being aware that one correct evidence rather than three or more is enough in mathematics, he changed his major to math and made amazing contributions in this area.

In conclusion, we should find a better balance between the interests which need more specifical design and the basic education which may lead to a higher capacity.(比较级后面应该有比较的对象阿) It is unrealistic to ignore any one（用either是不是更好一点？） of them.

思路挺清晰的，但是我认为句子之间还有段落之间的逻辑关系还需要更多的连接词来充实~（个人意见哦）

[ 本帖最后由 huangli711 于 2008-2-7 15:51 编辑 ]

ilabcUID: 2298724

大概看了一下，觉得你的文章很干净。语句虽然不华丽但意思表达很清楚，没有什么语法错误，看得顺。第二段里的连接词让段落结构很清楚。
开头有问题，你的开头就是你的观点。但我看到appearntly之后，以为你的观点是disagree。
个人认为你第一和第二的分论点可以合起来写。
从你的提纲看，你认为effective就只有interest这一个内容.但其实并不是这样，可以打开思路想想别的。
最后一个分论点可以改成兴趣需要寻找更好些。

一家之言，仅供参考阿