ARGUMENT147【Aero小组】第12次作业 by bigyan

bigyanUID: 2382427

In this argument, the arguer concludes that the sales of W video games is about to be reversed. To support this point, the author cites the fact that player are more interested in the games with lifelike graphic, which require the most up-to-date pc, and that W has introduced several such games with an extensive advertising directed at people 10 to 25 years old. However, the argument relies on a couple of specious assumptions, which render it unconvincing as it stands.
First and foremost, according to the survey, lacking more specific information about the ingredient of the objective, it is impossible to conclude that players prefer the games with lifelike graphic. Common sense and experience tell me that adultlesent are more interest in the video games than are older. If the number of the latter in the survey is a large part, then it is entirely possible that player in fact would like games with wonderful story and lower price. In short, whether the survey as the element is informative determines the correction of the conclusion.
Even assuming the reality of the survey, the fact that the company tries their best to advertise the games directed at people 10 to25 is the reason for the increase in need. One the one hand, given that most teenager need to ask dollar from their parents, it is good chance that whether their parents would like to satisfy the children’ want determines the sales to some extent; on the other hand, perhaps even it the teenager tend to play such games, perhaps they actually would not buy the product in the market. Without ruling out the possible scenarios, the author cannot convince me that the advertising campaign will help ensure the increment in sales.
Even assuming the success of the advertising campaign, the author asserts that the sales of the company are likely to dramatically in the future. However, common sense tells me this is not the case, and that the several other factors, such as the inflation, the competition with other huge company, also play a major role. It is entirely possible that the company shares the video games marker with another competing company whose product is design with top graphic as well. Thus, the hasty assumption is rather open to unconvincing.
In sum, the arguer unfairly comes to the conclusion that the sales would largely increase in the next few months. To strengthen it the author must enable me to clarity the something specific in the survey. To better assess the argument the author should carefully consider many other factors that have effect on the sales.     

liruixinsnakeUID: 2373729

In this argument, the arguer concludes that the sales of W video games is about to be reversed. To support this point, the author cites the fact that player are more interested in the games with lifelike graphic, which require the most up-to-date pc, and that W has introduced several such games with an extensive advertising directed at people 10 to 25 years old. However, the argument relies on a couple of specious assumptions, which render it unconvincing as it stands.

First and foremost, according to the survey, lacking more specific information about the ingredient of the objective, it is impossible to conclude that players prefer the games with lifelike graphic. Common sense and experience tell me that adultlesent are more interest in the video games than are older. If the number of the latter in the survey is a large part, then it is entirely possible that player in fact would like games with wonderful story and lower price. In short, whether the survey as the element is informative determines the correction of the conclusion.

Even assuming the reality of the survey, the fact that the company tries their best to advertise the games directed at people 10 to25 is the reason for the increase in need. One the one hand, given that most teenager need to ask dollar from their parents, it is good chance that whether their parents would like to satisfy the children’ want determines the sales to some extent; on the other hand, perhaps even it the teenager tend to play such games, perhaps they actually would not buy the product in the market. Without ruling out the possible scenarios, the author cannot convince me that the advertising campaign will help ensure the increment in sales.

Even assuming the success of the advertising campaign, the author asserts that the sales of the company are likely to dramatically in the future. However, common sense tells me（重复！） this is not the case, and that the several other factors, such as the inflation, the competition with other huge company, also play a major role. It is entirely possible that the company shares the video games marker with another competing company whose product is design with top graphic as well. Thus, the hasty assumption is rather open to unconvincing.
In sum, the arguer unfairly comes to the conclusion that the sales would largely increase in the next few months. To strengthen it the author must enable me to clarity the something specific in the survey. To better assess the argument the author should carefully consider many other factors that have effect on the sales.


能看出模版用的很到位 句型很丰富
但致命弱点是：所找的错误不是最关键的点！ 通货膨胀，竞争什么的 几乎哪道题都能整上，但是在能看出这道题特别的错误的话，一定要先指出后者！

比如，most up-to-date computers , 10-25 years old players, 等等




之前不好意思啊，这里粘贴错了但附件里的东西没错
建议下载附件看 是有颜色的

[ 本帖最后由 liruixinsnake 于 2008-2-13 22:46 编辑 ]

wenwenwen4444UID: 2377774

In this argument, the arguer concludes that the sales of W video games is时态 about to be reversed. To support this point, the author cites the fact that player are more interested in the games with lifelike graphic（survey和fact是有不同的）, which require the most up-to-date pc, and that W has introduced several such games with an extensive advertising directed at people 10 to 25 years old. However, the argument relies on a couple of specious assumptions（不是假设吧，是survey和根据survey的推广活动）, which render it unconvincing as it stands.

First and foremost, according to the survey, lacking more specific information about the ingredient of the objective, it is impossible to conclude that players prefer the games with lifelike graphic. Common sense and experience tell me that adultlesent（难道后面的the older就不是成年人了吗？应该是青少年比较喜欢才是） are more interest in the video games than are older. If the number of the latter in the survey is a large part, then it is entirely possible that player in fact would like games with wonderful story and lower price. In short, whether the survey as the element is informative determines the correction of the conclusion.
你是想质疑survey的可靠性，但是你没有具体细化到survey里哪方面可能影响到最终的result，比如样本的random（年龄结构，性别，数量。。。）啦等等。

Even assuming the reality of the survey, the fact that the company tries their best to advertise the games directed at people 10 to25 is the reason for the increase in need. One the one hand, given that most teenager need to ask dollar from their parents, it is good chance that whether their parents would like to satisfy the children’ want determines the sales to some extent; on the other hand, perhaps even it the teenager tend to play such games, perhaps they actually would not buy the product in the market.（你是想说即使他想玩这游戏他也可以不买，比如到有这个游戏的同学家玩？） Without ruling out the possible scenarios, the author cannot convince me that the advertising campaign will help ensure the increment in sales.
————这段是姑且承认survey是可信的，来质疑接下去的宣传并不一定有效，比如没钱买（这里你应该点出up-to-date computer)、去别人家玩。
我认为质疑得不够深入，草草带过的感觉，可以详细些。
Even assuming the success of the advertising campaign, the author asserts that the sales of the company are likely to dramatically increase in the future. However, common sense tells me this is not the case, and that the several other factors, such as the inflation, the competition with other huge company, also play a major role. It is entirely possible that the company shares the video games marker with another competing company whose product is design with top graphic as well. Thus, the hasty assumption is rather open to unconvincing.——这个理由我没想到，是说survey和宣传两方面都没有错，但是还有其他factors（比如商家间竞争，整个经济萧条等）影响sales。

In sum, the arguer unfairly comes to the conclusion that the sales would largely increase in the next few months. To strengthen it the author must enable me to clarity the something specific in the survey. To better assess the argument the author should carefully consider many other factors that have effect on the sales.

总的说来明显的逻辑错误都找到了，但是叙述地太笼统，尤其是对survey的质疑，应该细化细化再细化，多用几个if嘛。。。