Iusse50第四次作业【Jet小组】

cascadeUID: 2454141

ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
I strongly agree with the speaker’s conclusion that it is good for the faculties in the universities to work outside the academic word. However, at the same time, it is unrealistic to force all faculties have the experience of employment outside, for the reason that not all faculties are suitable to the real works. Therefore, my attitude towards this topic is that it is necessary to inspire the faculties who are doing research in practical fields to participate outside works, but as to researchers who only works in pure theoretical world it is unfair to compel them to spend time on practical works.

In the first place, the reason why I partly support the speaker’s opinion is that it is helpful even necessary for a researcher who works in applied science to experience the practical work. For one reason, practical work can inspire the researchers’ interest and broaden their views. Because all the researches serve for practice, so the real works will provide the teachers the newest results of researches which may give them new ideas and give rise to their interests. For another, a researcher who works for applied science must know the trends of the technology which can be reflected in companies which are producing the related products. If an applied field researcher refuses to observe the trends and acts blindly, his or her research achievements will also be refused by practical world.

In addition, in order to accelerate the speed of the research achievements changing to products, it is necessary for researchers to cooperate with the companies which also commit to explore new technologies to develop their products since the researchers in universities have more resources than companies. First, nearly the most new experimental equipments are owned by universities. Second, there are many other related fields’ researchers can provide their advice when it comes to the problem which cannot be explained in one’s own fields. Besides, through the professors who cooperate with companies, the students can reach the newest things easily by being assistants of the professors.

Admittedly, however, the researchers who study in pure theory science are not suitable to work in real works outside academic world, because their studies cannot be applied in practical regions. Take the scientists who research in prehistoric creatures for example, their work is meaningless to the companies which commit to change the result achievements to products. However, their work has important effects for human beings to known about the mysteries of prehistoric creatures. For these subjects, research is responsible for human’s thirst for knowledge but not practical technique.

In sum, the faculties in universities who study in applied science should experience a work outside the academic world because their researches have strong relationship with the practice. Otherwise their studies will come to a dead end, as a result of waste of money and time. However, we should not forget the truth that the researchers who study in theory science are the exceptions, for the reason that the aim of their work is not for practice.



[ 本帖最后由 cascade 于 2008-2-13 19:12 编辑 ]

x6xUID: 2180130

ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
I strongly agree with the speaker’s conclusion that it is good for the faculties in the universities to work outside the academic word. However, at the same time, it is unrealistic to force all faculties （ to ） have the experience s of employment s outside, for the reason that not all faculties are suitable to the real works. （考虑到后面是观点，前面最好用叙述客观事实的句式，像：The speaker holds the opinion that... 背景事实+个人论点 是最好的开头段模式） Therefore, my attitude towards this topic is that it is necessary to inspire the faculties who are doing research es in practical fields to participate outside works, but as to researchers who only works in pure theoretical world it is unfair to compel them to spend time on practical works. （主题段写的很好，背景明确，论点清晰）

In the first place, the reason why I partly support the speaker’s opinion is that it is helpful even necessary for （ a researcher 与后文一致）researcheres who works in applied science to experience the practical work. For one reason, practical work can inspire the researchers’ interest s and broaden their views. Because （ all 避免与后文exceptions自相矛盾） for the teachers whose researches serve for practice, （ so ） the real works will provide t （ teachers ）them the newest results of researches which may give them new ideas and give rise to their interests. （How?可以进一步阐释，或者举个例子，否则这段观点性的话多了些） For another, a researcher who works for applied science must know the trends of the technology which can be reflected in companies which are producing the related products. If an applied field researcher refuses to observe the trends and acts blindly, his or her research achievements will also be refused by practical world. ( 两个refuse对应的很好 )

In addition, in order to accelerate the speed of the research achievements changing to products, it is necessary for researchers to cooperate with the companies which also commit to explore new technologies to develop their products since the researchers in universities have more resources than companies. （主题句简洁为好，原因可放在下文） First, nearly （ the ） most of  the new est experimental equipments are owned by universities. Second, there are many other related fields’ researchers who can provide their advice when it comes to the problem which cannot be explained in one’s own fields. Besides, through the professors who cooperate with companies, the students can reach the newest things easily by being assistants of the professors.

Admittedly, however, the researchers who study in pure theory science are not suitable to work in real works outside academic world, because their studies cannot be applied in practical regions. Take the scientists who research in prehistoric creatures for an example, their work is meaningless to the companies which commit to （ change ）turn the result s（of） achievements in to products. However, their work h as important effects for human beings to know （ n ） about the mysteries of prehistoric creatures. For th o se subjects （For subjects like that） , research is responsible for human’s thirst for knowledge but not practical technique.


In sum, the faculties in universities who study in applied science should experience a work outside the academic world because their researches have strong relationship with the practice. （上段刚用了becuse句型，这段最好换一种表达） Otherwise their studies will come to a dead end, as a result of waste of money and time. However, we should not forget the truth that the researchers who study in theory science are the exceptions, for the reason that the aim of their work is not for practice.

文章结构很清晰, 整理出来如下：
I strongly agree with the speaker’s conclusion that ... However, at

the same time, it is...Therefore, my attitude towards this topic is that...

In the first place, the reason why I p...is that...For one reason,...For another, ...

In addition, in order to ...it is necessary...First,... Second,...Besides,...

Admittedly, however, ...

In sum,...
此外，你的行文逻辑也很清晰


需要提高的有：
1） 复杂句式的语法的准确性
2） 单复数
3） 论证方式多样化
4） 细节问题（如主题句不要太长，句式变换）


考虑到全文清晰的结构和逻辑，本文写的很不错 .



[ 本帖最后由 x6x 于 2008-2-9 21:59 编辑 ]

ilabcUID: 2298724

ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."


I strongly agree with the speaker’s conclusion(claim) that it is good for the faculties in the universities to work outside the academic word(world). However, at the same time, it is unrealistic to force all faculties have the experience of employment outside, for the reason that not all faculties are suitable to the real works. Therefore, my attitude towards this topic is that it is necessary to inspire the faculties who are doing research in practical fields to participate outside works, but as to researchers who only works in pure theoretical world it is unfair to compel them to spend time on practical works.

In the first place, the reason why I partly support the speaker’s opinion is that it is helpful even necessary for a researcher who works in applied science to experience the practical work. For one reason, practical work can inspire the researchers’ interest and broaden their views. Because all the researches serve for practice, so the real works will provide the teachers the newest results of researches which may give them new ideas and give rise to their interests. For another, a researcher who works for applied science must know the trends of the technology which can be reflected in companies which are producing the related products. (2个非限制性的定语从句套从句，这个结构不好,)If an applied field researcher refuses to observe the trends and acts blindly, his or her research achievements will also be refused by practical world.

In addition, in order to accelerate the speed of the research achievements changing to products, it is necessary for researchers to cooperate with the companies which also commit to explore new technologies to develop their products since the researchers in universities have more resources than companies. First, nearly the most new experimental equipments are owned by universities. Second, there are many other related fields’ researchers can provide their advice when it comes to the problem which cannot be explained in one’s own fields. Besides, through the professors who cooperate with companies, the students can reach the newest things easily by being assistants of the professors.

Admittedly, however, the researchers who study in pure theory science are not suitable to work in real works outside academic world, because their studies cannot be applied in practical regions. Take the scientists who research in prehistoric creatures for example, their work is meaningless to the companies which commit to change the result achievements to products. However, their work has important effects for human beings to known about the mysteries of prehistoric creatures. For these subjects, research is responsible for human’s thirst for knowledge but not practical technique.

In sum, the faculties in universities who study in applied science should experience a work outside the academic world because their researches have strong relationship with the practice. Otherwise their studies will come to a dead end, as a result of waste of money and time. However, we should not forget the truth that the researchers who study in theory science are the exceptions, for the reason that the aim of their work is not for practice.


基本思路清晰，观点明确。
就是在论证第二个方面的时候篇幅有点少，让你这篇中性观点的文章显得有些不平衡。
题目中提到In order to improve the quality of instruction，学术外的活动和教育质量的关系的讨论应该再多一些。
用词可以再到位一些，newest results of researches 就是latest development (improvement)of teachnonlogy，real work可以是social activities, practical work等。research in practical fields 就是research in engineering

一家之言，仅供参考