argument18【Chasing For "6" Score】第一次作业

木之灵景UID: 2427667

ARGUMENT18 - The following appeared in an editorial in a Prunty County newspaper.
"In an attempt to improve highway safety, Prunty County recently lowered its speed limit from 55 miles per hour to 45 on all major county roads. But the 55 mph limit should be restored, because this safety effort has failed. Most drivers are exceeding the new speed limit and the accident rate throughout Prunty County has decreased only slightly. If we want to improve the safety of our roads, we should instead undertake the same kind of road improvement project that Butler County completed five years ago: increasing lane widths and resurfacing rough roads. Today, major Butler County roads still have a 55 mph speed limit, yet there were 25 percent fewer reported accidents in Butler County this past year than there were five years ago."


中文提纲：

1. 在Prunty County 中，并没有提出在45mph限速的情况下是否还有别的原因导致车祸，如天气，路况等。（other conditions）
2. 适合于Butler County 的很多解决方案未必适合Prunty County 。（BC's not suitable to PC）
3. 就算BC适合PC，但也许还有别的更好的方式来改进PC.(other ways to improve PC)

[ 本帖最后由 木之灵景 于 2008-3-3 14:19 编辑 ]

棉花糖星星UID: 2324302

看附件～

fainting_robinUID: 2336582

. 在Prunty County 中，并没有提出在45mph限速的情况下是否还有别的原因导致车祸，如天气，路况等。（other conditions）
2. 适合于Butler County 的很多解决方案未必适合Prunty County 。（BC's not suitable to PC）
3. 就算BC适合PC，但也许还有别的更好的方式来改进PC.(other ways to improve PC)
提纲OK~
The editorial’s conclusion is that to improve Prunty Couty’s (PC’s) highway safety, we should restore our 55 mph speed limit on all major roads instead of 45 after the later failure in decreasing the accident rate, and we also should taken the road improvement project which is undertaken in Butler County (BC) five years ago. To support the conclusion, the editorial applies much evidence in the newspaper. However, close scrutiny of this evidence and of the editorial’s line of reasoning that they provide little credible support for the editorial’s conclusion.
   To begin with, the editorial shows PC should restore the 55 mph speed limit, for the drivers exceeding as well as the accident rate decreasing slightly. However, the author provides no other conditions, like roads and weather, when the 45 mph limit is carried out. It might be in the case that there was winter and the roads was slippery at that time,（我觉得这里在补上：所以冬季事故发率原本要比全年平均水平高一些，现在略微下降的结果，证明了限速起到了作用，这样这点才算表述完整） Without detailed factors of all kinds of conditions, the author fails to make me believe the conclusion that restore old 55mph is wise choice.
    The editorial also concludes that PC should undertake what BC did five years ago. That is to say PC should increase lane width and resurface rough roads. To support this argument the author cites under the 55 mph limit, the accident rate is 25% lower in past year than five years ago. It is possible that BC’s accident rate is still higher than PC’s, though it has decreased 25% in past years, or even more in this year（比较完以后还要联系上可能正是因为它的限速比PC高才导致了这种结果）. Absent information about the reliability and accuracy of the statistics, the author cannot convince me that PC should take BC’s protect.
    Though BC’s condition turns out to be true, it does not means that PC is absolutely proper to BC’s protect. Perhaps PC’s roads’ conditions are good enough so that need not to be improved, or what led to PC’s accident rate is because of other things like drive in drunken, etc. Lacking more detailed information of whether there are other reasons led to PC’s situation，the author fails to make me believe PC undertakes the BC’s improvement is reasonable.（你提纲里提到还有其他的方法改善，那么就该展开说。比如你提高可能是酒后驾车导致事故，那么就在给出需要采取的措施，比如加大监管惩罚力度，警察在路旁测试酒精浓度）
In conclusion, the editorial unconvincing as it stands. To strengthen the claim the author must show following information: first, there is no other conditions, under 45 mph limit, which has effort on accident rate in PC. Second, BC’s accident conditions are indeed lowered than PC’s after its improvements in roads. Third, PC’s road situations are indeed as same as BC’s as well as BC’s settlements are definitely suited to PC.
本文语言我没有细改，主要看你思路。因为阿狗语言可以部分的依靠膜版。
错误找的还是准的，顺序安排也可以，就是在具体攻击展开上还要下功夫。
可以去研读流星剑特训系列，好像群主有放在共享里。看看对6范文的分析，再有就是看咱们考高分中国GTER的习作，比北美容易学习。语言朴素到位阿。