Issue48 求拍 请留下你的习作链接，必回拍

summersyuUID: 2352969

TOPIC: ISSUE48 - "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by

the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
WORDS: 294          TIME: 00:38:41          DATE: 2008-3-7 22:52:50

It has been a controversy for a long time that whether significant events and historical trends were made by the famous few or groups of ordinary people. In  

my obeservation, history was created by both of them, neither of which could be neglected with certitude. (So I agree with the assertion with reservation.)

Thus, constructing a balance in the research study of history is not only important but also necessary.

1. 名人重要
To begin with, if looking back to the science history, we will figure out that profound inventions and scientific discoveris were nearly all attributable to

the key individuals, such as  Galileo,Isaac Newton, Edison, Albert Einstein and so on. There is no deniable that their names should be emphasied and

immortalized in history. In given sufficent perspectives to other fields, like art or politics,we will not be surprisingly to find the similar result as in

science field. For instance, Da Vinci excelled at portraiture and his painting of Mona Lisa remains the most famous portrait ever done. But Da Vinci as also

a skilled architect and engineer. Moreover, when it comes the social transform or significant event, the pivotal role of the elites will even more highlight.

When India attained independence, Mahatma Gandi was honoured the title of Father of Nation regarding his persistant leadership in the attainment of India's

freedom by using non-violence principles. Winston Churchill, a very competent prime minister whose speeches gave immense courage to the entire nation, insist

on leading British people to fight against Nazi until success. In sum, learning key historical figures can greatly inspire us to achieve great things

ourselves as the old saying-the strength of paradigms are boudless.
2. 普通人重要
However, over-emphasis on the key individuals may lead to a negative effect on the study of history. First of all, it is impossible and somewhat ridiculous

to say that the few individuals can present the whole society. One notable example immediately comes to my mind-the Great Wall. Though it it regarded as one

the of ancient miracles in world today that attracts tourists from all over the world, it was the comeout of indescrible hardwork of innumerous ordinary

people and even more, lots of people died of it. Some significant events caused by key individuls may intensively hampered the interest of common people

which should not be neglected in history study. Secondly, in political field, even if the elites do represent the interest and will of populace, they can not

succeed without the adhere support of ordinary people. Just see the examples mentioned above, India would have been impossible to achieve freedom without the

sacrifices of martyrs who followed tightly after Mahamtma Gandi while the Britain would have been unable to defend itself without the sacrifices of soldiers

on the battle field.

3.总结
To sum up, most famous individulas are widely mentioned in history because of their superb achivements in different fields and they set up paradigms for us

to learn. Yet, the groups of people who spared enormous efforts altogether to bring the vision of elites to fruition.

[ 本帖最后由 lastangel 于 2008-3-9 01:57 编辑 ]

zephyrqqUID: 2260290

It has been a controversy for a long time that whether significant events and historical trends were made by the famous few or groups of ordinary people. In  my obeservation,[改成 As far as I am concerned吧，history是很难就你的观察来判断的，你就二十岁左右，历史几千年，你怎么能凭你的观察来来评说呢，这个太有难度了。] history was created by both of them, neither of which could be neglected with certitude. (So I agree with the assertion with reservation.) Thus, constructing a balance in the research study 重复了，这两个词用一个就可以of history is not only important but also necessary.

1. 名人重要
To begin with, if looking back to the science history, we will figure out that profound inventions and scientific discoveris were nearly all attributable attributed to the key individuals, such as  Galileo,Isaac Newton, Edison, Albert Einstein and so on. 第一句最好还是写个主题句，概括你这一段的大意。你第一句就开始就举例子了。你可以这样改一下[To begin with, it is undeniable that the famous few should be emphasied and immortalized in history. If we look back to the science history, we would figure out that the important events and trends  were nearly all attributable attributed to the key individuals, such as  Galileo,Isaac Newton, Edison, Albert Einstein and so on, for their significant discoveries or inventions, or both. In given sufficient...]There is no deniable that their names should be emphasied and immortalized in history.In given sufficent perspectives to other fields, like art or politics,we will not be surprisingly to find the similar results situations as in science field. For instance, Da Vinci excelled at portraiture and his painting of Mona Lisa remains the most famous portrait ever done. But Da Vinci as also a skilled architect and engineer. 你举例达芬奇可以，但是你这个例子阐述得和题目没有什么关系，你只说了达芬奇有名有才，没有说历史怎么记录他创造了什么trend，什么event。Moreover, when it comes the social transform or significant event, the pivotal role of the elites will would be even more highlighted. When India attained independence, Mahatma Gandi was honoured the title of as Father of Nation regarding for his persistant and successful leadership in the attainment of India's freedom by using non-violence principles.History remembers Winston Churchill, a very competent prime minister whose speeches gave immense courage to the entire nation,because he insisted on leading British people to fight against Nazi until success.注意这里的例子又和history有点脱节了。 In sum, the famous few contributed greatly to histrical events and trends and learning key historical figures can greatly inspire us to achieve great things ourselves as the old saying-the strength of paradigms are boudless.这个in sum感觉是说另外一回事情去了。你中间少了一个过渡：名人对历史很重要，应该受到历史研究的重视。
2. 普通人重要
However, over-emphasis on the key individuals may lead to a negative effect on the study of history. First of all, it is impossible and somewhat ridiculous to say that the few individuals can present the whole society. One notable example immediately comes to my mind-the Great Wall. Though it it regarded as one the of ancient miracles in world today that attracts tourists from all over the world, it was the comeout of indescrible hardwork of innumerous ordinary people and even more, lots of people died of it. Some significant events caused by key individuls may intensively hampered the interest of common people which should not be neglected in history study. Secondly, in political field, even if the elites do represent the interest and will of populace, they can not succeed without the adhere support of ordinary people. Just see the examples mentioned above, India would have been impossible to achieve freedom without the sacrifices of martyrs who followed tightly after Mahamtma Gandi while the Britain would have been unable to defend itself without the sacrifices of soldiers on the battle field.

3.总结
To sum up, most famous individulas are widely mentioned in history because of their superb achivements in different fields and they set up paradigms for us to learn. Yet, the groups of people who spared enormous efforts altogether to bring the vision of elites to fruition.

我的作文已经考完，前一段时间积压的事情非常之多，最近很忙。本来想帮你改完的，不过，今天在外面跑了一整天，筋疲力尽，时间太晚，实在坚持不下去了，就只给你改了一下前面两段，不好意思。不过，我希望对你有所帮助和启发。祝你成功。

[ 本帖最后由 zephyrqq 于 2008-3-9 11:12 编辑 ]