帮忙看看啊，大虾们！

swingopenUID: 2473270

Different types of music can be heared almost everywhere and everytime. Every day when we go along the streets, we can hear lots of music. When we open TV, we may hear some songs. On the way to work or school, we may sing songs ourselves.
We need music because it plays a vital role in our daily life. First, music can relieve us when we are tired or in bad mood . When I am blue, I would listen to music to make myselfer more stronger to face the difficulties in life. Secondly, music is a way to express our emotions. Some people even creat songs themselves. Thirdly, music is a method to entertain ourselves. We can see many youngs and olds go out to sing songs in bars in weeekend.
Traditional music has existied a long time in a country and international music is popular in the world now. I don’t think traditional music is more important than international music. International music can be heard everywhere because it absorbs essence from many countries traditional music and is accepted by people from every country. Traditonal music can also be popular when it makes some innovations and be liked by most people in the world. Traditon music  is the base of  international music we are creating now. We need both these two kinds of music.

[ 本帖最后由 forbeck 于 2008-3-29 13:01 编辑 ]

wengzhangzzUID: 2326392

When we open TV，你牛的，你把电视都打开了。。。。。。turn on the TV......

wengzhangzzUID: 2326392

firstly
secondly
first
second

forbeckUID: 2297645

很多用词，词性。。。。。。。。。。

感觉很中国口语化。。。。。

H-KevinUID: 2182070

作文互改活动:--TEAM WORK ,团队精神
希望作文修改的板油，最好不要等待别人主动给你修改，
建议你先修改论坛上别人的作文，然后把自己的作文链接留下给对方互改
如果你不愿意修改别人的作文，别人可能也有同样的想法
一份耕耘一份收获，强调互改，互相学习
寸有所长，尺有所短。不要顾忌自己水平低