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[活动] 批改作文,谢谢大家拉!!! [复制链接]

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发表于 2008-4-19 13:46:06 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
题目是:agree or not:the ability of speaking well is more important than the ability of writing well

There is a general discussion over people's ability in modern society. One of the questions under debate is whether the ability of speaking well is more vital than the ability of writing well. The information I've collected in the recent years leads me to maintain that to examine one is more crucial than the other, we should give perceptive insights into further details, for both of them hold a significant position in our life.

In the first place, on no account can we deny the value of fluent and clear oral expressions. For one thing, modern society is a truly high-paced and intense environment. People suffer from various survival stress and working pressure in myriad ways. Consequently, it is imperative that people should communicate with their family and friends to express their feeling and thoughts. In fact, speaking serves as a bridge between people, which enhance mutual understanding and alleviate our burden. For another thing, the characteristics of today’s job require us to give a representation in public more frequently such as introducing the work plan to your subordinates, sharing experience with your colleagues and so on. Accordingly, we feel obliged to enhance the ability of speaking in order to do a job with skill and ease. There is no denying that speaking well before many people will develop your higher level of self-confidence and strong will, which may put you in a favorable position in the competitive job market.

While we emphasize the weightiness the ability of speaking well, the ponderance of writing will never be ignored or rejected. Due to the explosive of information in the modern society, it is necessary to reserve some valuable information for a long time. Without doubt, one with the ability of writing well will be qualified of such a task very well. Furthermore, writing materials proves more logical and systematical, compared with the oral expressions.

From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw a conclusion that it is rather superficial to simply say that one is bound to more significant than the other. People nowadays are required to master both of the abilities as well as apply them to their real work and life, which make them more easeful and efficient.


[ 本帖最后由 hyacinth 于 2008-4-19 14:43 编辑 ]
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沙发
发表于 2008-4-20 21:12:37 |只看该作者

回复 #1 emma811 的帖子

没人顶自己顶吧 :(

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板凳
发表于 2008-4-22 06:04:36 |只看该作者
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-828555-1-1.html
既然写的是同一主题,为什么不互相交流一下,尝试互改呢。:)

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发表于 2008-4-22 23:51:48 |只看该作者
There is a general discussion over people's ability in (TODAY‘S)modern society. One of the questions under debate is whether the ability of speaking well is more vital than the ability of writing well. The information I've collected in the recent years leads me to maintain that to examine (WHICH) one is more crucial 【than the other】, we should give perceptive insights into further(FURTHER有点突然) details, for both of them hold a significant position in our life.

In the first place, on no account can we deny the value of fluent and clear oral expressions.(个人认为不错) For one thing, modern society is a truly high-paced and (AN)intense environment. People suffer from various survival stress and working pressure in myriad ways. Consequently, it is imperative that people should communicate with their family and friends to express their feeling and thoughts. In fact, speaking serves as a bridge between people, which enhance(S) mutual understanding and alleviate(S) our burden. For another thing, the characteristics of today’s job require us to give a representation in public more frequently such as introducing the work plan to your(OUR) subordinates, sharing experience with your(OUR) colleagues and so on. Accordingly, we feel obliged to enhance the ability of speaking in order to do a job with skill and ease. There is no denying that speaking well before(IN FRONT OF) many people will develop your higher level of self-confidence and strong will, which may put you in a favorable position in the competitive job market.

While we emphasize the weightiness (OF)the ability of speaking well, the ponderance of writing will never be ignored or rejected. Due to the explosive of information in the modern society, it is necessary to reserve some valuable information for a long time. Without doubt, one with the ability of writing well will be qualified of such a task very well. Furthermore, writing materials proves more logical and systematical, compared with the oral expressions.

From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw a(THE) conclusion that it is rather superficial to simply say that one is bound to more significant than the other. People nowadays are required to master both of the abilities as well as apply them to their real work and life, which make them more easeful and efficient.

限时完成的话应该算是还可以了,优点是词汇很丰富,像ponderance weightiness significant,一个important 也没有,佩服
观点也基本明确
有几个语法错误,结构上也稍有欠缺。比如speaking的优点说的比writing多很多
一些个人意见,水平有限,仅供参考。
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发表于 2008-4-23 11:18:02 |只看该作者

回复 #4 satisfy123 的帖子

万分感谢!!!我会再改进,因为写writing的时候发现时间比较紧张了,来不及构思了,呵呵:cool:

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发表于 2008-4-23 15:17:23 |只看该作者
你现在已经有了自己固定的写作模式.结尾比上一篇文章也明显提高了很多.
那词汇量还是一如既往的丰富.;d:

我觉得你的主要问题还是在论据上. For another thing, the characteristics of today’s job require us to give a representation in public more frequently such as introducing the work plan to your subordinates, sharing experience with your colleagues and so on. 这个是在举例子.但是还不够.the ability of speaking well是很空的. 但是放到public representation这个情景里,它就有了具体的意义了.比如它自由发挥的空间很大,而且需要演讲者随机应变,不要觉得好像这些跟"说"没什么关系,正因为public speak难度大,才反应了说对我们的重要性,才回应了题目.而这种重要性是需要你自己去强调的.当然这仅仅是我的思考模式,和你交流一下.;)

我呢,是觉得,例子其实一抓一大把,看你如何让它为自己所用.

还剩一周时间.我的建议是最好能单独练习elaboration.可以试试扩句,或者闲下来的时候想想JJ里出现过的题目自己是什么观点,可以用什么例子.

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RE: 批改作文,谢谢大家拉!!! [修改]
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批改作文,谢谢大家拉!!!
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