作文帖

jamesshen089UID：2364901

各位高手指点，斧正:)

Barron 6 Independent Writing

Question: Many people learned a foreignlanguage in their own country; others have learned a foreign language in thecountry in which it is spoken. Which is better? Give advantages of each andsupport your viewpoint


When it comes to a better place to learn aforeign language, people always face dilemma to make a choice between learningin their own country or in foreign country. Preferences towards this issue varyfrom individual to individual because many aspects should be taken intoconsideration, such as effectiveness, efficiency, idiomaticity and expense.Personally, I would like to vote for learning a language in the country whereit is spoken if I were faced with this issue. My argument for this point goesas follows.

The main reason why I make such decision isthat it is more effective and efficient to learn a language in the foreigncountry. It is obvious that one can easily master a language when he/she usesit everyday. A particularly striking example is that the son of my friend wentto US at the age of 10 from China.He can speak English fluently just after 6 months. However, many Chinese use 10years or more to learn English but still have trouble in speaking. According toa famous linguist, children below 12 can master a language when exposed toforeign language in a few months.

Moreover, there is also a more subtlereason we should consider. One is able to speak foreign language idiomaticallyjust as native speaker when he/she lives in a foreign country for some time. Itis a truth universally acknowledged because natives around he/she speak andwrite foreign language almost without errors in grammar, spelling andpronunciation. I can not find a better illustration that gives some light tothe view. The son of my friend can say some slangs after one-year living in U.S. that evenmy friend don't understand. In contrast, my friend sometimes speaks Chinglish,which often amuse others.

Of course, learning a foreign language in owncountry has advantages to some extent, just as a famous saying goes, “Everycoin has two sides". The expense of living in the own country is often muchlower than in foreign country. Not every one can afford study abroad. The lighterfinancial burden is the most important advantages of learn a foreign languagein own country. However, the merits of choosing to learn a language in foreigncountry overweigh the drawbacks, so the conclusion is evident by avoiding bias.

Taking into account all these factors, wemay safely draw the conclusion that it is wise to learn a language in thecountry where it is used if one can afford it. There is no denying thatlearning in foreign country will exercise profound influence on one'slinguistic ability.

hyacinthUID：2184492

When it comes to a better place to learn a foreign language [a better place放在这里似乎有点awkward], people always face dilemma to make a choice between learning in their own country or in [^a] foreign country. Preferences towards this issue vary from individual to individual because many aspects should be taken into consideration, such as effectiveness, efficiency, idiomaticity and expense. Personally, I would like to vote for learning a language in the country where it is spoken if I were faced with this issue [觉得这里有点重复罗嗦,前面已经用了personally了]. My argument for this point goes as follows.

The main reason why I make such decision is that it is more effective and efficient to learn a language in the foreign country. It is obvious that one can easily master a language when he/she uses it everyday. A particularly striking example is that the son of my friend went to US at the age of 10 from China. He can speak English fluently just after 6 months. However, many Chinese use 10 years or more to learn English but still have trouble in speaking. According to a famous linguist, children below 12 [我个人会选择用ten, six等表示数字.] can master a language when exposed to foreign language in a few months.

Moreover, there is also a more subtle reason we should consider. One is able to speak foreign language idiomatically just as native speaker when he/she lives [has been living] in a foreign country for some time. It is a truth universally acknowledged because natives around he/she [这个多出来的吧,删去] speak and write foreign language almost without errors in grammar, spelling and pronunciation. I can not find a better illustration that gives some light to the view [ can shed some light on this situation]. The son of my friend can say some slangs after one-year living in U.S. that even my friend don't [doesn’t] understand [这句语序调一下.that clause跟到slangs后面.定语从句需要紧跟着被修饰的词]. In contrast, my friend sometimes speaks Chinglish [你确定英语里是有这个词的?chinglish是否也是chinglish的一部分捏?:rolleyes: ], which often amuse others.

Of course, learning a foreign language in [one’s] own country has advantages to some extent, just as a famous saying goes, “Every coin has two sides". The expense of living in the own country is often much lower than in foreign country. Not every one can afford study abroad. The lighter financial burden is the most important advantages of learn [learning] a foreign language in [^one’s] own country. However, the merits of choosing to learn a language in [^a] foreign country overweigh the drawbacks, so the conclusion is evident by avoiding bias [觉得读着有点不顺]

Taking into account all these factors, we may safely draw the conclusion that it is wise to learn a language in the country where it is used if one can afford it. There is no denying that learning in [^a] foreign country will exercise profound influence on[thumb up~~;d: ] one's linguistic ability.

语言比较流畅,思路很清晰.
开头里所提到的四个aspects在接下来的三个段子中进行了分别的阐述. 文章真真正正的做到了my arguments are as follows.可见作者即使在写作的过程中,对文章的宏观结构仍然有良好的把握.;d:
美中不足的是,结尾时突然出现了模板的痕迹. 语言在表达上有些单一.

再多练习几篇应该可以向good迈进了~~;d: