有能人能帮我订正我的essay吗？

lovedorothyUID: 2250613

一共三篇，帮忙修正一下语法和格式吧，谢谢~！！！
1。

We Are Not Just Fucked Up

According to the order of nature, we can learn that we were shaped by the unity of spermatozoon from father and ovum from mother. A famous poet, Phillip Larkin, claims in his poem “This Be the Verse” that a child is just a result of this irresponsible coition. In the first two sentence of Larkin’s Poem, “they fuck you up, you mum and dad/ they ” (lines 1-2), Larkin uses vulgar words which indicate the way that children shaped is dirty and erotic which is unwanted for the parents. In my opinion, it also can be considered as children are always messed up by their parents although they are not intended to do that. There are almost no parents who don’t want to teach their children on the right way and never let them go through the fault, but they do sometimes let their children go through the wrong way because they also have some faults which have not been realized by them yet and they are so unconsciously about what they have done. With these faults, they don’t have enough ability to teach their children using the right way but they still teach the children only because they think that they are parents, thereby they have the obligation and right to teach their children. Furthermore, as the time passes, the children will create some faults by themselves as their parents do too.
Then Phillip Larkin emphasizes, “But they were fucked up in their turn” (line 5), indicates that the faults of the parents are given by their parents. It shows that the passing fault is an endless cycle that is given by the earlier generations. After that, Larkin lampoons those early generations as starchy and antiquated by describing their unfashionable clothes and complains that they spend time on blaming the life and each other rather than raising their children wholehearted and it is transmitted to the later generations one by one.
In the last part of the poem, Larkin compares the cycle of the transmission to the coastal shelf indicating that the cycle of transmission is endless. Like the sand on the beach which is becoming more and more by the tide’s driving, the transmitting faults are also being developed; as the moving of tide never stops, the sand will be deeper all the time, so the faults in transmission will not stop. Moreover, Larkin suggests “And don’t have any kids yourself” (line 12) -- the only way in his mind to get out from this endless cycle.
This poem makes me think about a similar article called “parents” I have read several of days before in which have the writer Thich Nhat Hanh also talked about the transmission from parents to children. Both of Larkin and Nhat Hanh point out that there are always some endless bad cycle of the transmissions as Larkin emphasizes in his poem, “They fill you up with the faults they had/ And add some extra, just for you” (line 3-4), and “But they were fucked up in their turn” (lines 5); while Nhat Hanh mentions in his article, “ There is a continuation in the transmission of seeds, and their father and mother might have gotten those seeds from their grandfather and grandmother” (71).
However, they still have some ideas which make their points of view become dissimilar.
Firstly, we can learn from Larkin’s sentence, “But they were fucked up in their turn/By fools in old-style hats and coats” (lines 5-6), in which Larkin seriously indicates the bad cycle of transmissions from the early generations by vituperating and lampooning about the early generations; while Thich Nhat Hanh’s illustrates that children should be not only thankful to their early generations but also to understand the early generations with forgiveness because everything they have now is from the early generations.
Secondly, through Larkin’s poem “Man hands on misery to man/It deepens like a coastal shelf” (line 9-10) which indicate that the cycle of transmitting the faults is endless, we can find out that Larkin’s attitude is totally passive. He thinks that this cycle of transmission of faults can only be deeper and deeper rather than considering it as this cycle can be fixed by people. Nevertheless, in Nhat Hanh’s article, gives an opposite idea of this cycle by telling a story of a little boy. The boy was once angry at his father because his father always shouts at him when he fell down. But three years later, he found out that he would also do the same thing to his little sister if he doesn’t rule his anger and, his father was just a victim of suffering from his own parents. Hence he practiced to control his anger and also let his father do the same practice. At last, he went out from this cycle of fault’s transmission successfully. This story shows that the cycle of fault transmission is not endless all the time. Although most of time, people have to get the fault from their parents unintentionally, they can still find the way to stop and fix this cycle.
Finally, Larkin gives a suggestion, “And don’t have any kids yourself” (line 12), which shows the only way to get out of the faults transmission is to stop multiplying. But since as human kind, we cannot stop multiplying if we don’t want to be extinct. Thereby, Nhat Hanh gives a positive idea of stopping this fault transmission — realizes the fault, and, with people’s willpower, love and patience, stops it from transmitting to the next generation.
As far as I considered, I strongly agree with Nhat Hanh’s point of view. I was raised up by my grandparents when I was a little girl. I used to cry a lot and deuced hate them because they always fight loudly without any concern about my existence. One summer vacation, I let my little niece out to play in the park with some of my friends. We were sitting together and talking happily. Without any signs or evidences, a girl in another class who was let by my friend began to decry me on the breaking up of me and my ex-boyfriend with some of the grimy words. Therefore I was so angry that I scrapped with her loudly. When I turn my head once, I saw that my little niece was looking at me with the tears in her eyes. Suddenly, I saw my childhood in the shadow of her and felt extremely regretful because I knew that I was becoming my grandparents whom I hated most. Thus I stopped fighting with that girl and apologized to my niece. Also, I promised that I wouldn’t scrap with anyone to make others terrified. I count ten seconds every time before becoming uncontrollable angry, then I get the time to consider whether it is worthy to be angry or not. Today, I can easily control my anger without hurting anyone. Although my experience is just a little story, it can still reflect that as human beings, we can stop the transmission of the faults by ourselves step by step. If I didn’t realize that I was doing the same thing as my grandparents did, I would probably transmit this fault to my kids some time later. Luckily, I found the way to stop the cycle and escaped from it. In my opinion, there is no one who doesn’t have the ability to stop the fault, it’s just depends on people’s mind. If one is heart-searching, tolerant, and willing to pay the patience and love, for what reason can’t him stop the transmission of the fault?

lovedorothyUID: 2250613

Toys, the Dream of Childhood

Toys are sometimes considered as small and useless things which are just made for children to kill their free time. However, when related to the culture, they are not just toys anymore. Through these sundry small toys, people can understand the huge amount of different cultures of the country. Some of toys are made to memorize the folk stories, while others teach people the habits of a country. One of my birthday gifts I received from my classmate is a very traditional Chinese electronic music box. There was a glass ball on the top of this music box; I could see there was a couple standing on the bridge which is made of magpies; a beautiful yellow full moon was hanging behind them. When I turned the power on, there would be a Chinese rhythm fly out which is pleasant to listen to. This music box mainly tells an old romantic Chinese folk story about a weaver girl and a cowherd.
Long time ago, there was a boy, clever, diligent and honest. Orphaned at an early age, he was very poor. However, he adopted an abandoned old buffalo, which proved to be very loyal and relieved him a lot from the hard labor in the fields. Villagers from far and near came to know him by the name of the Cowherd. At the same time, the youngest of the seven celestial princesses had grown tired of the privileged but secluded life in the heavenly palace. She sneaked out and descended onto the earth and to the sudden happiness of the Cowherd with whom she had secretly fallen in love all along in heaven. They married and had a lovely boy and a girl. While the Cowherd worked in the fields with his old pal the buffalo, the heavenly princess weaved at home to help support the family. Villagers all admired her excellent weaving skill and started learning from her. She was now well-known as the Weaving Girl. The family lived moderately but peacefully and happily until the girl‘s celestial royal family found her missing and traced her to the village. The Celestial Empress was in such a wrath that she gave her daughter only two choices: to go back home or see her husband and children destroyed. She had no choice but to leave. The old buffalo suddenly began to speak to the bereaved and now astonished young man, saying that he was dying in no time and asking him to use his hide as a vehicle to catch up with his wife. And off he sailed to heaven taking his young son and daughter in two baskets carried by a shoulder pole. Fearing that the young man would catch up, the empress took out her hair spin and drew a big river across the sky, known to the Chinese as the Silvery River (the Milky Way in the West). She wanted to separate the family forever. However, all the magpies in the world, deeply touched by the story, came to their rescue. Each year, on the seventh day of the seventh month, they would flock together to form a bridge so that the family may enjoy a brief reunion.
When I learned the story from this music box, my heart was so deeply touched. And I even cried for this couple as they can only be together once a year. After that, I got to know how important love and loyalty is and how happy I am for I would not be separated from my parents and family who can meet them once a year. I learnt to believe in true love although people now rarely believe it and treasure my life from this story the music box told me.
Toys also have some other good affection to children. First of all, toys can increase the intelligence of children. There is an old styled toy named tangram which is made of seven pieces of different shaped wooden boards. The basic shape of these wooden boards is a triangle and the way to play it is to throw those wooden boards in to confusion, then let the player to resume them to a triangle. It sounds very easy to play, but if give a try, people will know that it is even difficult for an adult to play. Sometimes when I got blocked from my school work, I like to play it for a while to make my mind relaxed even though I’m already an adult now.
Toys can also develop children’s responsibility. Toys are children’s beloved friends without live. Thereby they cannot talk nor do anything as they want. Thus they need the love and care from their owner and best friend, children. Being with love, children have the responsibility to take care of their toys carefully just as when I was a little girl, I always help my toys to take shower and build them a little “home”. This affection of toy will also show on the later life of the children. With those experiences of taking care of toys, these future adults will easily to know how to take care of others with their love and true heart.
Finally, toys help people to save their best memory of childhood. As I mentioned before, I have received a fluffy bunny as my early age’s birthday gift from my mother right before she left me and my father. It was a really popular one at that time. I shared it with my friends and they were all jealousy at me. Soon with this pretty bunny, every child among our community became my friend as all of them wanted to touch my bunny. As I lost my mother, every one of my friends came to console me and give me the strength. Although it seems silly today, but no one can doubt that it is such a sweet time for me. When I try to recall those old time memories occasionally, it can always make me smile.
However, toys today still have some negative aspects as well. The creative of toys is losing. When people go to the toys market, all they can see is just the same styled toys without any innovation at all. The toy’s duty is helping children out of tomfoolery, yet now toys have became the thing which bored children as well.
Some of the colorful toys seem beautiful and graceful, but no one realized that there is a big danger hided under the colorful skin of the toy! My little cousin who is only five years old was diagnosed to have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. He used to play with his lots of colorful toys but now he is forbidden to play with them by his parents. The reason why his parents forbidden him to play those toys is not they want to punish him but the colorful and good looking toys is the criminal which caused him to have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder! Look at the colorful skin of the little trains and cars, you may say they are beautiful and cute. However the painting of the toys sometimes contains a huge amount of lead that causes children to get lead poisoning. And the lead poisoning is the main criminal of the Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder! Parents want their children to be happy so they spend a lot of money on the toys, but they can never imagine that instead of the love to their children, toys turned to another face and poisoned their children.
Therefore, in order to give a good life to children and maintain their best memories of childhood, I believe that toys must be produced safely and high quality, also with creativity. That is what toys should be, and must be.

[ 本帖最后由 lovedorothy 于 2008-5-15 01:13 编辑 ]

lovedorothyUID: 2250613

3。
Beijing, the Multi-ethnic City

Beijing is the place where I grew up. Known as the capital of China and the holder of 2008 Olympic game, Beijing is ranked as the 29th biggest city among the nation. It has an area of 16,801.25square kilometers. With its appropriate climate and great location, Beijing is one of the oldest cultural cities in China with no doubt. As early as a half million years ago, Peking man lived in Zhoukoudian, the southwestern suburbs of Beijing, started the earliest history of Beijing. Beijing first became a national capital during the Jin Dynasty (1115-1234) (Lu). Since then, Beijing has been the capital of several dynasties such as the Qin Dynasty and Ming Dynasty.
Nowadays, being as the capital of a fast developing country, Beijing becomes the “dream place” for people from every ethnic. With the population of approximately 17,430,000, the city of Beijing has been ranked as the 26th largest population among the nation. Being accounted as the 96% of the total population, Han Chinese is considered as the major nationality in Beijing. Otherwise, there are also some of minority nationalities in Beijing such as Manchu and Hui. This construction of multi-ethnical population is caused by both historically migration and the attraction from large modern city.
The population constructions of some of the dynasties are mainly ethnic minority, for example Mongolian in Yuan Dynasty and Manchu in Qing Dynasty. Both of these dynasties have established Beijing as their capital. Thus it brings a huge amount of people from minority ethnic to Beijing. After the dynasty changed several of times, those people from minority ethnic settled down and the generations after them began to see Beijing as their hometown.
Due to the fast economic growth in China, its capital Beijing has become one of the most attractive cities in the world. The economic growth brings more opportunities of making money; especially the Olympic game which will be held in Beijing raises the working needs. The international media are very interested in the Beijing Olympics. Apart from the 21,600 overseas journalists that registered with BOCOG, another 10,000 are expected to come to Beijing in 2008. It will be the first time that this city sees more than 30,000 journalists from every corner of the world (Zhang). Moreover, Beijing also pays lots of attention to the people who are from minority ethnic group. The Panoramic Beijing Ethnic Minority Park has been built several years ago in order to teach the visitors about the cultures of minority ethnic in China. Thereby people from the entire nation come to Beijing; some of them are from minority nationalities, making Beijing a city of multi-ethnic.
I grew up in a big community where is for soldier’s residence. Those soldiers are from all corners of the land and they are from every ethnic group such as Nu and Zang. I was taught to respect them when I was young not only because they are the heroes during the period of war but also they gave their old lifestyle up and moved to Beijing kinless from their hometown. During that period, I learnt many different manners of other ethnic group so that I can use the right way to treat people from every different ethnic group. For example, most of my neighborhoods are from Hui nationality, thus I never mention anything about pig or pork with them because “people from Hui believe in Islam, as Muslims, they follow Islamic dietary laws and reject the consumption of pork, the most common meat consumed in Chinese culture, and have also given rise to their variation of Chinese cuisine” (wikipedia.org:). When someone talks about pig or eats pork in front of them, they will be angry for this his or her disrespecting.
My grandmother and some of her battle companions are from Qiang nationality who used to live in a province located at the southwestern of China called Sichuan. They are all the migrants who moved to Beijing with their army nearly fifty years ago. Every time she talks about her hometown, she always sighs with emotion. With the Qiang’s manners, she forbids her children to put their chopsticks across the bowl and never welcome the visitor when anyone in our family is sick. In my memory, she used to tell me that people from Qiang like to have party. Everyone from all over the village comes to celebrate together when the festival come. Qiang people are all very good at singing and dancing, thus it becomes the indispensable part of their party. Furthermore, Qiang people also have their own festival called “Nian festival” in order to thank their god to give them the great harvest which is in October 1st in lunar calendar. Today, we still celebrate this traditional festival in our family. I would call that time as one of the best times in our family. For my grandmother will make a sumptuous meal and call her old battle companions to our house to celebrate it with their traditional song and dance although they have not farm for almost fifty years.
Living in this multi-ethnical city Beijing has given me many ideas of how people from other ethnic groups live. With these knowledge of manners makes me know how to get alone and communicate well with people from other ethnic groups. As a result, living in this multi-ethnical community also influenced me sometime. I learned to speak many different kinds of accents of Chinese from my family and friends; I also get used to eat many of sapors such as Qiang and Miao nationality cuisines other than Beijing cuisine. Sometimes when I get in trouble, I’d like to follow the wisdoms of some minority ethnics. When I took the TOEFL exam first time, I always stopped at some of difficult questions. It influenced my grade seriously for I didn’t have enough time to finish the remaining exam. Later I talked to my grandmother for a long time. After that, I was aware of the reason why I failed in the exam from her. She uses wisdom of Qiang people when they are hunting----the reason why it is hard for the hunter to see the quarry in the forest is that he is in the forest. Yes, in a big forest, every quarry is just too small to see. I lost lots of my quarries because I concentrated too much on only one quarry and forgot others in the forest. With this awareness, I got a much better grade at the second exam undisputed.
Although I leaved Beijing for college to another country now, I still remember the way to discover the difference between different groups of people and treat them with appropriate way to make them comfortable. For it has been my sixth month since I came to the United States, I miss Beijing a lot. I miss the passionate people there and every kind of different and tasted cuisines; I miss the jewelry that my Zang ethnic friend made for me; I miss my Chaoxian ethnic neighbors teaching me Korean; I miss the song my grandmother and her battle companion sang and, I miss the feeling of home. There is the place where I was born and, the place where I belong.

Works cited
Wikipedia, “Definition of Hui”. Wikipedia.org
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hui_people>
Zhang, Juan. “Letting the world discover the real China.”
China Today Feb 2007:  P38
Lu, Rucai. “Beijing’s 850th anniversary as national capital.”
    China Today Dec 2003: P12