【08火箭小组】第二次作业issue130

chibiUID: 2477825

ISSUE：
130"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

提纲：
How children are socialized在决定社会未来上起一定程度的作用。
How children are socialized不是决定社会未来的全部因素。
我们已经在一定程度上学会怎么教育孩子，但是还存在不足之处。

The speaker asserts that the destiny of society is determined by how children are socialized today, and we have not yet learned how to raise children. In my view, the speaker unfairly generalizes. To some degree, how children are socialized today could determine the destiny of society. However, many other aspects play equal or more important role in determining the future of society. In addition, we have learned how to raise children in some ways, but it still leaves much to be improved.   

Admittedly, how children are socialized plays an extremely important role in determining the destiny of society. It is undeniable that children today will take charge of society in the future. Thus it would be a crucial task to socialize children. As is often the case, children who are not well educated or have unhappy childhood are more likely to be anxious, mean-spirited, aggressive, and demonstrate not so good social skills when they grow into adults. In contrast, children who are well educated and have happy childhood are prone to be well-developed, stable adults who lead our society to a brighter future.  

Nevertheless, whether a society would be prosperous or not arise from many other aspects, not only from how children are socialized. No matter how children are socialized, the increasing competitive job market might still increase; war would be still unavoidable among countries, and there would be still some people suffering from hunger, poverty and so on. Some social problems could not be totally solved just by socializing our children in an even ideal way. There are many indispensable factors closely related to the destiny of society, for example, the development of science and technology, the diplomatic policy, a system of a society, the help from good nature, and so on.

Furthermore, we have learned how to socialize our children in some ways. We set up an education system from their childhood to adults which tell them how to define what is truth, how to think critically, how to make a beneficial decision, and so on. However, there is a tendency that an increasing number of people have realized that we still have much to do to raise children in a better way. Most of children feel that they spend too much time in doing tedious and boring homework, and they are under too heavy pressure of study and exams. Some children even commit to suicide because they couldn’t bear the pressure. Some knowledge learned in childhood would not be used throughout their entire life. Some students who already graduate from universities or colleges might still confuse with their career and future. Nowadays we are living in a world that has increasingly focused on turning everyone into money-pursuer, which also exercise a great influence on our children and the system. Therefore, a better long-term solution and a more effective system would be imperative to meet the demands.

To sum up, how children are socialized is not the only factor but a vital part of determining the destiny of society. We have learned how to raise children to some extent, but we still have a long way to go.

byysUID: 2294038

The speaker asserts that the destiny of society is determined by how children are socialized today, and we have not yet learned how to raise children. In my view, the speaker unfairly generalizes及物动词. To some degree, how children are socialized today could determine the destiny of society. However, many other aspects play equal or more important role in determining the future of society. In addition, we have learned how to raise children in some ways, but it still leaves much to be improved.   

Admittedly, how children are socialized plays an extremely important role in determining the destiny of society. It is undeniable that children today will take charge of society in the future. Thus it would be a crucial task to socialize children. As is often the case, children who are not well educated or have unhappy childhood are more likely to be anxious, mean-spirited, aggressive, and demonstrate not so good social skills when they grow into adults. In contrast, children who are well educated and have happy childhood are prone to be well-developed, stable adults who lead our society to a brighter future.  
B1：社会化重要。
Nevertheless, whether a society would be prosperous or not arises from many other aspects, not only from how children are socialized. No matter how children are socialized, the increasing competitive job market might still increase; war would be still unavoidable among countries, and there would be still some people suffering from hunger, poverty and so on. Some social problems could not be totally solved just by socializing our children in an even ideal way. There are many indispensable factors closely related to the destiny of society, for example, the development of science and technology, the diplomatic policy, a system of a society, the help from good nature, and so on.
B2：社会发展需要许多因素共同作用。
Furthermore, we have learned how to socialize our children in some ways. We set up an education system from their childhood to adults which tell them how to define what is truth, how to think critically, how to make a beneficial decision, and so on. However, there is a tendency that an increasing number of people have realized that we still have much to do to raise children in a better way. Most of children feel that they spend too much time in doing tedious and boring homework, and they are under too heavy pressure of study and exams. Some children even commit to suicide because they couldn’t bear the pressure. Some knowledge learned in childhood would not be used throughout their entire life. Some students who already graduate from universities or colleges might still confuse with their career and future. Nowadays we are living in a world that has increasingly focused on turning everyone into money-pursuer, which also exercise a great influence on our children and the system. Therefore, a better long-term solution and a more effective system would be imperative to meet the demands.
B3：我们的教育有一些成就但也不足，强调不足。
To sum up, how children are socialized is not the only factor but a vital part of determining the destiny of society. We have learned how to raise children to some extent, but we still have a long way to go.
这篇文章语言很流利，结构也很鲜明。唯一不足的地方在于B1，B2论述的例证有些泛泛，如果有更具体的例子会好很多。

ssg334UID: 2502461

我不是小组成员，对文章浅说几句：
语言很好了，unfairly generalizes的用法是正确的。
我只仔细看了让步段，先说不社会化的缺点，在on cotrast一下。建议是说缺点时可以罗列一下，如on the one hand等，显得清晰些。拙见哈