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zhuzhuorUID: 2452739

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1001storyUID: 2516918

In this memo, the author points out that the five best-selling cheeses at the newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses. The author also points out that a recent survey conducted by Cheeses of the World magazine reveals its subscribers' increasing preference for domestic cheeses. On the basis of this line of reasoning the author suggests to discontinue stocking the varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses in order to improve profits in all of the stores. This memo contains several critical flaws, which render it convincing.

A threshold problem involves that the sales data from the newest store may differ from the overall summary of all the stores. Perhaps the newest store is located in the region where lots of foreigners live. The foreigners may prefer to buy the cheeses produced in their homelands so that the selling of imported cheeses is improved. It is entirely possible that at the stores in other regions the five cheeses may not be sold as well as at the newest store. The author should consider the overall sales data, or treat different stores in certain distinct ways in order to better the sales(这个错误就不说了啊)

The author also assumes unfairly that the result of the survey by Cheeses of the World magazine could reveal the attitudes and interests of customers. Perhaps most of the subscribers of Cheeses of the World magazine are the sellers of cheeses, just like the author, or the producers of cheeses. The local producers of cheeses should support the domestic cheeses certainly. On the other hand, there may be only few people participate in the survey, so the final result might not be able to show the overall wishes of customers. Without the details of the survey conducted by the magazine, the author cannot convince me.

Finally, even if the author can substantiate all of the foregoing assumptions, the author's assertion that concentrating primarily on the selling of domestic cheeses will improve profits is still unwarranted. Maybe the imported cheeses are much expensive so that the profits of selling the imported ones last year may be more than the domestic ones' although less of them have been sold.（只说价格高不能证明利润大，提下成本如何哈！） Under this circumstance, discontinuing stocking imported cheese would reduce the profits in all of the stores.

In sum, the author's conclusion is unpersuasive as it stands. To strengthen it, the author should provide more details of the sales data of cheeses over the last several years and the survey conducted by Cheeses of the World magazine, and the author should provide better evidence that the profits of selling same amount of domestic cheeses are not less than the imported ones.

你的ARGUMENT进步很快，简洁没有多余的话，以后千万不要粗心啊！