issue56 【today is the day】 第二次作业 by revealing

revealingUID: 2507748

TOPIC: ISSUE56 - "Governments should focus more on solving the immediate problems of today rather than trying to solve the anticipated problems of the future."

Should governments place more emphasis on the present conditions? Which is more important, the immediate problems of today or the anticipated ones of the future? Obviously, people will find it almost impossible to come to an agreement on the highly controversial issue. In the last analysis, I am more inclined to support the title of the statement.

To begin with, it is unfortunate but true that the dark sides of our society are more exposed than ever before, with the development of era and the progress of human being. Problems range from unemployment and poverty to violence and crime, seriously shake the foundation of the stability of society. The settlement of these problems is the basis of development in the future. Like it or not, we must concede the fact if no today there is no tomorrow, so the immediate problems of today are more vital and more urgent to some extent. Moreover, sometimes, it is impossible to solve the problems tomorrow until we have worked out the problems today-especially some emergencies, such as the terrorist attacks on 11th October 2001 and the disastrous earthquake in China just on 12th May 2008; otherwise, there would be more problems following. To some extent, it is not they focus more on today rather than the future, but governments have to solve the immediate problems at first.

In addition, what is also worth noticing is that to win the favor of public governments throughout the world tend to focus on solving the problems of today. According to a recent study conducted by the sociology department of Peking University in China, about 86 percent of people who were surveyed indicate that they are more concerned about such immediate problems as housing, education and medical treatment at present but not the long-term ones. Just as one responder said (and I paragraph):”Our society is like a body and current problems are like acute diseases. Without treating timely, they will soon expand and aggravate, even destroy the mechanism and lead death.” Perhaps the analogical deduction is too simple to please a lot of people, but there is something profound in, something governments should pay more attention to. After all, immediate problems afflict and agonize majority of public mostly.

Nonetheless, as a famous saying goes,”going too far is as bad as going not far enough.” If governments take no account of tomorrow, the results of the future might cause more trouble and even some of the terrible consequences would be irreversible. For example, after the Industry Revolution, our technology and science keep advancing at an unceasing speed; our society is more developed than ever before; our lives are more comfortable than the past periods. However, we have to be in face of the serious environment pollution today. Again, the overexploitation of resources once leads to crises of energy today, and even war. And so on. Besides, the earth is not simply ours but also our descendants’. We have responsibilities to keep sustainable development. As a result, we should call for a balance between the immediate problems of today and the anticipated problems of the future.

To sum up, there are several other factors relevant to the issue under discussion, which, unfortunately, I have no time to explore in detail here. It is very likely that people will never be able to come to the same conclusion on the complex issue due to their different experiences and conflicting values. Nevertheless, public awareness of the major concerns addressed in the above argument will probably contribute to the thorough understanding of the challenging problem.

woyunUID: 2522051

Should governments place more emphasis on the present conditions? Which is more important, the immediate problems of today or the anticipated ones of the future? Obviously, people will find it almost impossible to come to an agreement on the highly controversial issue. In the last analysis, I am more inclined to support the title of the statement.

To begin with, it is unfortunate but true that the dark sides of our society are more exposed than ever before, with the development of era and the progress of human being. Problems range from unemployment and poverty to violence and crime, seriously shake(shaking) the foundation of the stability of society. The settlement of these problems is the basis of development in the future. Like it or not, we must concede the fact if no today there is no tomorrow, so the immediate problems of today are more vital and more urgent to some extent. Moreover, sometimes, it is impossible to solve the problems tomorrow until we have worked out the problems today-especially some emergencies, such as the terrorist attacks on 11th October 2001 and the disastrous earthquake in China just on 12th May 2008; otherwise, there would be more problems following. To some extent, it is not they focus more on today rather than the future, but governments have to solve the immediate problems at first.(这段后面论述不错，但第一句主题句可以在改一下，你写的意思是说我们社会暴露出越来越多的黑暗，但我认为应该是归纳成去解决这些问题的重要性之类，或者说是现在不解决会对将来带来很多危害等等的，因为这也是你这一段所论述的内容)

In addition, what is also worth noticing is that to win the favor of public governments throughout the world tend to focus on solving the problems of today. According to a recent study conducted by the sociology department of Peking University in China, about 86 percent of people who were surveyed indicate that they are more concerned about such immediate problems as housing, education and medical treatment at present but not the long-term ones. Just as one responder said (and I paragraph):”Our society is like a body and current problems are like acute diseases. Without treating timely, they will soon expand and aggravate, even destroy the mechanism and lead death.” Perhaps the analogical deduction is too simple to please a lot of people, but there is something profound in, something governments should pay more attention to. After all, immediate problems afflict and agonize majority of public mostly. 这段论述比较充实。
Nonetheless, as a famous saying goes,”going too far is as bad as going not far enough.” If governments take no account of tomorrow, the results of the future might cause more trouble and even some of the terrible consequences would be irreversible. For example, after the Industry Revolution, our technology and science keep advancing at an unceasing speed; our society is more developed than ever before; our lives are more comfortable than the past periods. However, we have to be in face of the serious environment pollution today. （这里可以分析一句，说是由于政府当时没有开始解决将可能产生环境问题，加点分析可以使例子更充实。）Again, the overexploitation of resources once leads to crises of energy today, and even war. And so on. Besides, the earth is not simply ours but also our descendants’. We have responsibilities to keep sustainable development. As a result, we should call for a balance between the immediate problems of today and the anticipated problems of the future.

To sum up, there are several other factors relevant to the issue under discussion, which, unfortunately, I have no time to explore in detail here. It is very likely that people will never be able to come to the same conclusion on the complex issue due to their different experiences and conflicting values. Nevertheless, public awareness of the major concerns addressed in the above argument will probably contribute to the thorough understanding of the challenging problem.（这个结尾虽然语言很好，但是太空洞了，缺乏实质的总结归纳。而且我好像在哪里见过，应该是某个老师搞出来的模板，用的太多很容易和别人一样。不过可以在考试没时间时直接套上~~ ）

总结一下：（由于我昨天才开始准备作文，所以自己了解的还很少很少，而且我市以AW4.0为目标的，水平非常非常有限，看你的这篇文章好多遍都找不出很多想说的，找出来的也只能参考   期待你的回改，呵呵）、
1．语言还不错，至少我看了好多遍都没发现什么语法错误，长短就结合也较好。
2．有些段落的主题句可以再修改一下，争取能做到对本段的高度概括，这样会清晰很多。
3．举完例子可以进行一点分析，这样可以呼应观点
4．结尾段最好能总结出一个自己的模板

revealingUID: 2507748

谢谢，我觉得你说的那几个问题都是我目前最需要解决的！一起加油啊！