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[a习作temp] Argument194 冲刺小组第四次作业 [复制链接]

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发表于 2008-8-4 16:56:55 |显示全部楼层
This author recommends that all left-handed people should run a business. He claims that: (1) from the picture, there are 21 percent in 1000 businessmen that execute prominent business; (2) only 11 percent people are left-handed in the world. He also advises that right-handed people should learn the method which left-handed people used in the business. The argument suffers from several logical flaws and is therefore unconvincing.

First of all, the author concludes that left-handed people are more likely to success in business just because there are 21 percent in 1000 businessmen that execute prominent business in picture. One of my English teacher use the left hand write only, so may be a lot of people who are “left-handed” in pictures are like my teacher or they are ambidextrous.

Even if they are all left-handed and they received big success in the business, do they have the cause and effect relationship? If I agreed with this viewpoint, may be I could say that 90 percent prisoners are right-handed so we should make a extra education for all right-handed people, what a absurd conclusion? Moreover, may be the percent that the people who are left-handed win in the business are only 10, and it is fit the 11 percent that are the left-handed people in the world, because others are not use their unique ideas but receive the supports from their family.

Even if these left-handed people have super method to win in commerce, the author can not unfairly claims that all left-handed people are all fit for trading. The author must convince me that his conclusion is correct.

Should all right-handed people study from the left-handed people? The author ignore that there are 79 percent people who are right-handed and do well in business, they must have good idea about how to run their enterprise which is unique to he left-handed’s. Even they can learn from the left-handed people, may be they can not use it, unless they do everything by their left hand, and to be a left-handed people.So right-handed people would be well advised to imitate the business practices exhibited by left-handed is unnecessary.

In sum, the argument is logically uncorrectable. To strengthen it the augur must prove that the people who use their left hand in the photo are left-handed people, they success because their unique method. I need the author give reasons to illustrate that all left-handed people want to run a business and can success on it. At last, I also need the author prove that the left-handed executive really have particular measure and it could be accepted by the right-handed people.
提纲:
1 有问题
2 根据照片不能确定他是左撇子,可能仅用左手写字(就像我的一个英语老师),也可能左右开弓。
3 因为他是左撇子,而且做生意成功了,所以左撇子做生意成功。没有必然联系。而且可能这成功的左撇子里一半是因为其他原因(比如家族)成功而不是靠自己的特殊理念,剩下的一般正好是10.5%,和之前的11%吻合。
4 左撇子就该做生意。哪来的证据显示他们喜欢做生意,而且准赢?
5 右撇子学习左撇子。作者忘了有79的成功者是右撇子吧?他们一定有他们的方法,而且左撇子的理念他们可能学不了,除非他们现在做什么都用左手。
6 总结

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发表于 2008-8-4 23:14:06 |显示全部楼层

回复 #1 Mryan 的帖子

This author recommends that all left-handed people should run a business. He claims that: (1) from the picture, there are 21 percent in 1000 businessmen that execute prominent business; (2) only 11 percent people are left-handed in the world. He also advises that right-handed people should learn the method which left-handed people used in the business. The argument suffers from several logical flaws and is therefore unconvincing.

First of all, the author concludes that left-handed people are more likely to success in business just because there are 21 percent in 1000 businessmen that execute prominent business in picture.
(可适当套用北美范文的攻击语句,攻击思路) One of my English teacher use the left hand write only, so may be a lot of people who are “left-handed” in pictures are like my teacher or they are ambidextrous.

Even if they are all left-handed and they received big success in the business, do they have the cause and effect relationship? If I agreed with this viewpoint, may be I could say that 90 percent prisoners are right-handed so we should make a extra education for all right-handed people, what a absurd conclusion? Moreover, may be the percent that the people who are left-handed win in the business are only 10, and it is fit the 11 percent that are the left-handed people in the world, because others are not use their unique ideas but receive the supports from their family.(没看懂 是说调查结果不可信么? 应注意语言表达方式)

Even if these left-handed people have super method to win in commerce, the author can not unfairly claims that all left-handed people are all fit for trading. The author must convince me that his conclusion is correct.

Should all right-handed people study from the left-handed people? The author ignore that there are 79 percent people who are right-handed and do well in business, they must have good idea about how to run their enterprise which is unique to he left-handed’s. Even they can learn from the left-handed people, may be they can not use it, unless they do everything by their left hand, and to be a left-handed people.So right-handed people would be well advised to imitate the business practices exhibited by left-handed is unnecessary.

In sum, the argument is logically uncorrectable(无法改正(或纠正、校正)的,不能补救的,不能修复的)(改为unpersuasive). To strengthen it the augur must prove that the people who use their left hand in the photo are left-handed people, they success because their unique method. I need the author give reasons to illustrate that all left-handed people want to run a business and can success on it. At last, I also need the author prove that the left-handed executive really have particular measure and it could be accepted by the right-handed people.
你写的Argument没有语法错误 逻辑没有问题  根据我同学的经验字数越多越好(issue和argument都是)

[ 本帖最后由 aqquu 于 2008-8-4 23:20 编辑 ]

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发表于 2008-8-5 10:02:42 |显示全部楼层
This author recommends that all left-handed people should run a business. He claims that: (1) from the picture, there are 21 percent in 1000 businessmen that execute prominent business; (2) only 11 percent people are left-handed in the world. He also advises that right-handed people should learn the method which left-handed people used in the business. The argument suffers from several logical flaws and is therefore unconvincing.

First of all, the author concludes that left-handed people are more likely to success in business just because there are 21 percent in 1000 businessmen that execute prominent business in picture. One of my English teacher use the left hand write only, so may be a lot of people who are “left-handed” in pictures are like my teacher or they are ambidextrous.(可以对in picture 进行批驳,也许这些人只是为了照相而被要求用左手拿笔摆的姿势)


Even if they are all left-handed and they received big success in the business, do they have the cause and effect relationship? If I agreed with this viewpoint, may be I could say that 90 percent prisoners are right-handed so we should make a extra education for all right-handed people, what a absurd conclusion (加it is)? Moreover, may be the percent that the people who are left-handed win in the business are only 10, and it is fit the 11 percent that are the left-handed people in the world, because others are not use their unique ideas but receive the supports from their family.(按照你的提纲,这个例子可以写得更详细,清楚一些)

Even if these left-handed people have super method to win in commerce, the author can not unfairly claims that all left-handed people are all fit for trading. The author must convince me that his conclusion is correct.

Should all right-handed people study from the left-handed people? The author ignore that there are 79 percent people who are right-handed and do well in business, they must have good idea about how to run their enterprise which is unique to he left-handed’s. Even they can learn from the left-handed people, may be they can not use it, unless they do everything by their left hand, and to be a left-handed people.So right-handed people would be well advised to imitate the business practices exhibited by left-handed is unnecessary.(这一段写的好)

In sum, the argument is logically uncorrectable. To strengthen it the arguer must prove that the people who use their left hand in the photo are left-handed people, they success because their unique method. I need the author (加to )give reasons to illustrate that all left-handed people want to run a business and can success on it. At last, I also need the author (to)prove that the left-handed executives really have particular measure and it could be accepted by the right-handed people.

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RE: Argument194 冲刺小组第四次作业 [修改]

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