issue212 today is the day 第六次作业 by tingtingjenny

tingtingjennyUID: 2431377

OPIC: ISSUE212 - "If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it is justifiable."

Does the worthy goal enjoy the prerogative to be attain by any means of method? The speaker content so, yet I believe whether a goal is worthy and the justice of the pathway is a controversial issue need multiplicity perspectives. the importance of highlight certain regulation in competing interests is necessary in attain the worthy goal.

To begin with, weather a goal is worthy is not a easily distinguished issue. Young people in modern society for instance, often share different point of view toward their lives, some people believe that to acquire a job after undergraduate study is most important since we have already learned enough knowledge to afford their future work, and to help in construction in society as they display individual quality. Others, on the other hand, deeply in mind that to continue graduate study would be better for their further development, even though this choice might expend more times and money, the goal of display individual quality on campus are no doubt regard as the worthy goal by the later group, yet might totally deride as unworthy by the former group, conversely, the later are possibly quarrel the former’s goal. Therefore, the worthy goal is different from one people to the other, yet, none of them could be easily questioned.

Besides, the pathways used to attain any assuming worthy goal are also hard to be regard as justifiable or not. In contemporary sophisticated social economy situation and circulation,  there could hardly purely justifiable that could be applied to each individuals, everyone has individual opinion and attitude, some people believe the suicide choice make by sever patients could help release family financial burden, and also help in decreasing patients suffer, therefore are regard as justifiable. Yet, large proportion of population believed this choice might release the patients suffer and family burden, it would also cause to abuse of doctors authority and therefore have potential threaten toward medical moral and ethic. Thus, whether suicide choice in medical is a effective way to reduce social economy burden or a way lead to corrupt medical ethical and morale standards is actually hard to determine.

Admittedly, there must exists certain standards to help establishing a peaceful and positive social development. For instance, in economy area, business employers are not allowed to acquire injustice profits by hiring underage employees, nor could they be forced to work in unhealthy condition or overtimes. Otherwise, they attain the goal to create more profits is undermined and are accused. Similarly, in scientific areas, any seemingly far-reaching significant scientific goals should be attained by justice and reasonable logical deduction, were scientist overlook the importance of precise and purity of science research, any assumed success are injustice and unjustifiable, Korea scientist Huang yuxi, who forged his embryo research results not only destroyed individual quality but also diminished the profiled of Korea scientific area.

To sum up, every coins has its two side, the query about weather a goal is worthy or not or the solution’s justice often are not easily determined; there also exist problems that need strict standards striking for mass populations profits and truth. Human beings already attain some conformity with this problem, yet there are more need to experience carefully evaluation and consideration.

紫薇花开UID: 2461167

OPIC: ISSUE212 - "If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it is justifiable."

Does the worthy goal enjoy the prerogative to be attain by any means of method? The speaker content so(content为Vt,So为Adv,这样似乎不很合适) yet I believe whether a goal is worthy and the justice of the pathway is a controversial issue (此前句中已有动词IS,所以添加that定语从句)need multiplicity perspectives. the importance of highlight certain regulation in competing interests (与上面犯一样的错误添which)is necessary in attain the worthy goal.

To begin with, weather a goal is worthy is not a easily distinguished issue. Young people in modern society for instance, often share different point of view toward their lives, some people believe that to acquire a job after undergraduate study is most important since we have already learned enough knowledge to afford their(与前面的WE人称似乎不对照) future work, and to help in construction in society as they display individual quality. Others, on the other hand, deeply in mind that to continue graduate study would be better for their further development, even though this choice might expend more times((time 不可数名) and money, the goal of display( displaying)individual quality on campus are( is ) no doubt regard(regarded) as the worthy goal by the later group, yet might totally deride as unworthy by the former group, conversely, the later are possibly quarrel the former’s goal. Therefore, the worthy goal is different from one people to the other, yet, none of them could be easily questioned.(次段及全文共同存在whether的问题,该词为连词  而非关系代词所以不能连接从句 由作者自己改吧)

Besides, the pathways used to attain any assuming worthy goal are also hard to be regard(regarded) as justifiable or not. In contemporary sophisticated social economy situation and circulation,  there could hardly purely justifiable(justifiable为Adj怎么可以引导从句) that could be applied to each individuals, everyone has individual opinion and attitude, some people believe the suicide choice make(made) by sever patients could help release family financial burden, and also help in decreasing patients suffer, therefore are regard as justifiable. Yet, large proportion of population believed this choice might release the patients suffer and family burden, it would also cause to abuse of doctors authority and therefore have potential threaten toward medical moral and ethic. Thus, whether suicide choice in medical is a effective way to reduce social economy burden or a way lead to corrupt medical ethical and morale standards is actually hard to determine.

Admittedly, there must exists certain standards to help establishing(establish) a peaceful and positive social development. For instance, in economy area, business employers are not allowed to acquire injustice profits by hiring underage employees, nor could they be forced to work in(under更合适) unhealthy condition or overtimes. Otherwise, they attain the goal to create more profits is undermined and are accused. Similarly, in scientific areas, any seemingly far-reaching significant scientific goals should be attained by justice and reasonable logical deduction, were scientist overlook the importance of precise and purity of science research, any assumed success are injustice and unjustifiable, Korea scientist Huang yuxi, who forged his embryo research results not only destroyed individual quality but also diminished the profiled of Korea scientific area.

To sum up, every coins has its two sides, the query about weather a goal is worthy or not or the solution’s justice often are not easily determined; there also exist problems that need strict standards striking for mass populations profits and truth. Human beings already attain some conformity with this problem, yet there are more need to experience carefully evaluation and consideration

评:  本文 有几处明显的语法错误', 动词时态,  名词复数以及WHETHER的用法问题

2  本文开头不拘一格  和精采  然而后面有较多的语法错误

3.  总体上有一定的连贯性但各段的内容上不够连贯

4.  有一定的分析能力,但作者的主张似乎没有得到完全阐述(multiplicity perspectives 得以阐述,但regulation 并没有涉及)

5.有一定的句式多样性