COMEON作文小组------yuanhu124 8月27日作业

yuanhu124UID: 2444317

中午才看到COMEON小组的作文活动，我也加入吧！以下是第一篇小组作文，请战友拍之。我也会尽快完成相应修改任务！

Movies and televisions have more positive or negative effects on young people's behaviors.

In contemporary society, the industry of communication and medium is so advanced that televisions have nearly come into every family, and people can go to cinema more easily than ever before. Most of the young people like to see television programs and movies. However, what effection do the movies and televisions indeed bring to the youth? It is positive or negatve? To my opinion, it causes many bad habits and wrong values to the young people, whose intellects are not mature enough to resist.

A large amount of movies and television programs which are filled with violence can effect the teenagers unconsiously. In the young people's daily lifes, they may follow the actors' behaviors to handle some others directly by fighting, and even some cruel actions. Sometimes, they just thing themselves as one of the actors in the film, who is good at Kongfu. Take a piece of recent news for example, a high school student once quarreled with one of his classmates. In the way home, the student called in some others to beat his classmate. When asked why he did this, the student said he just follow his ideal in the film.  

What's more, the industry of movies and televisions creats a culture of consumerism which lead the young people to a wasteful value. The adertisements in the television convince the youngster that things that once thought to be luxuries are now necessities. Young people asked their parents to buy them many new clothes, shoes and some other things, while the old are not worn out. What's worse, if parents do not match their children's extra requirements, they may steal or rub money just as what showed in the movies and televisions.

Though there are also many bennifits of movies and televisions for the young people, we should see that the subculture of the new generation which is affected by the industry of comunication and medium has bring many new problems to us. Movies and televisions are two-edaged. Nowadays, we should pay much more effert to cultivate the young people, in order to make them learn what is the real beauty and good.

namejoeUID: 2373013

Movies and televisions have more positive or negative effects on young people's behaviors.|留学|签证|TOEFL|GRENV&\iNw4[9nD
留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USA4KDK7?Ts
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In contemporary society, the industry of communication and medium is so advanced that televisions have nearly come into every family, and people can go to cinema more easily than ever before. Most of the young people like to see television programs and movies. However, what effection do the movies and televisions indeed bring to the youth? It is positive or negatve? To In my opinion, it causes many bad habits and wrong values to the young people, whose intellects are not mature enough to resist.--开头一定要简洁,突出重点,这也是ETS喜欢的写法,建议以后开头直接了当,一目了然.

A large amount of movies and television programs which are filled with violence can effect the teenagers unconsiously. In the young people's daily lifes, they may follow the actors' behaviors to handle some others directly by fighting, and even some cruel actions. Sometimes, they just thing think themselves as one of the actors in the film, who is good at Kongfu. Take a piece of recent news for example, a high school student once quarreled with one of his classmates. In the way home, the student called in some others to beat his classmate. When asked why he did this, the student said he just follow his谁的? ideal in the film.  

GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USA JQs%t PL {`
What's more, the industry of movies and televisions creats a culture of consumerism which lead the young people to a wasteful value. The adertisements in the television convince the youngster that things that once thought to be luxuries are now necessities. Young people asked their parents to buy them many new clothes, shoes and some other things, while the old are not worn out. What's worse, if parents do not match their children's extra requirements, they may steal or rub money just as what showed in the movies and televisions.寄托家园)]/~ \$M:m]t
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Though there are also many bennifits of movies and televisions for the young people, we should see that the subculture of the new generation which is affected by the industry of comunication and medium has bring many new problems to us. Movies and televisions are two-edaged. Nowadays, we should pay much more effert to cultivate the young people, in order to make them learn what is the real beauty and good.

总体结构还是很完整,但在句式以及表达上还略显不足,建议多看看ETS官方范文,可以模仿模仿.

yuanhu124UID: 2444317

谢谢修改！
现在我一共还没写几篇作文，还有很多地方需要加油啊！以后多指教了！