COMEON-----作文小组 qawsed 8.28作业

qawsedUID: 2359935

Modern society has become more complex, so it is essential for the young people to have the ability to plan and organize. （2007.7.21,技术进步与成功类）
写的很郁闷，感觉没话说，又超了很多时，愁啊愁

Since the complex society is very crucial for people's individual development and progress, it is necessary and beneficial for the young people to be involved in the ability learning concentrated on plan and organize. I have several reasons to discuss it.

Admittedly, no free dinner exists in the world. A person who has no keen version at his own developmental way will be desperately followed behind because At the beginning of the running line, he is completely sentenced to the looser. Therefore, in the complex society, young people belongs to the group who have congenital advantages to make progress and more time to analyze various aspects, so to learn the ability to plan and organize is the first step toward triumph.  

Moreover, when competition becomes more furious, young people would better realize the future developing trend of the society and confirm the real interests in his mind---that is to learn the ability to plan. Everyone in a particular society recognize social roles: doctor, political leader, judge, store clerk, officer and so on. For a young people, before he steps into the society, he should contribute himself in the deep thinking and anticipation of that which field of working fits him most and does that field have a good development in future. For example, young people who are eager to become the prospective banker of Chinese Bank are more likely to notice correlated news in early age and learn specific knowledge such as society, statistic analysis, economy etc in school life. When it comes to the time for applying for jobs, advantages in the professional background will comparably bring you the priority.

Furthermore, under the high pressure of competition, to organize is the basic and necessary ability for the survival. If technology brings work high efficiency and quality, it also blows a strong wind of competition for all the employees. Firstly, Keep absorbing new knowledge happening around the world is essential. Secondly, balancing the relationship of work members is also desirable, since team works best when they consist of people who respect and help each other harmoniously.

In conclusion, it is necessary and beneficial for the young people to learn the ability to learn how to plan and organize. These are all the perspective elements to thrive for the championship.

laureljiaUID: 2440618

Since the complex society is very crucial for people's individual(individual's) development and progress, it is necessary and beneficial for the young people to be involved(这个词在找个替代的吧,好像没有involve in ability这种表达) in the ability learning concentrated on(这样表达好像有点不清楚,直接改成to如何?) plan and organize. I have several reasons to discuss it(for discussion?).

Admittedly, no free dinner exists in the world. A person who has no keen version at his own developmental way will be(删掉) desperately followed behind(lag behind) because At the beginning of the running line, he is completely sentenced to the looser. Therefore, in the complex society, young people belongs to the group who have congenital advantages to make progress and more time to analyze various aspects, so to learn the ability to plan and organize is the first step toward triumph.(这段开头说了没有计划的后果,之后就直接是结论了,逻辑关系似乎没说清楚,我觉得可以把你的最后一句改成主题句调到前面去)  

Moreover, when competition becomes more furious, young people would better realize the future developing trend of the society and confirm the real interests in his mind---that is to learn the ability to plan. Everyone in a particular society  recognize (这个词用的好,学习)social roles: doctor, political leader, judge, store clerk, officer and so on(看了后面的觉得这句话可以省略,在最后加上一句点题的话). For a young people, before he steps into the society, he should contribute himself in the deep thinking and anticipation of that which field of working fits him most and does that field have a good development in future. For example, young people who are eager to become the prospective banker of Chinese Bank are more likely to notice correlated news in early age and learn specific knowledge such as society(sociology), statistic analysis, economy etc in school life. When it comes to the time for applying for jobs, advantages in the professional background will comparably bring you the priority.

Furthermore, under the high pressure of competition, to organize is the basic and necessary ability for the survival. If technology brings work high efficiency and quality, it also blows a strong wind of competition for all the employees. Firstly, Keep absorbing new knowledge happening around the world is essential. Secondly, balancing the relationship of work members is also desirable, since team works best when they consist of people who respect and help each other harmoniously.(觉得吸收知识和人际关系不能直接证明plan的重要性,感觉好像缺了根线把他们连在一起)

In conclusion, it is necessary and beneficial for the young people to learn the ability to learn how to plan and organize. These are all the perspective elements(?particular elements?) to thrive for the championship.

观点很不错,但是论证的时候还要多注意.要把你举的例子和论点串起来,给他们说明白.不过这篇文章确实不太好下手,我的这篇字数贼少贼少,还超时!:mad: 我们继续加油!