COMEON作文小组------yuanhu124 8月31日作业

yuanhu124UID: 2444317

今天把时间抛到一边，根据前几次的练习，这次主要练习的是结构和词语，希望自己可以在这样面有所提高。请帮忙修改的战友多多指点！

Some optimistic people believe that traditional energy like fossil fuels will soon be replaced by new energy forms, such as solar energy, wind energy and nuclear energy. Though it is definitely much more efficient and green for the using of new energy, frankly to say, I can not agree with these pollyanna. I will demonstrate some primary viewpoints here in the following paragraphs.

The main problem in the application of the new energy lies in the development of technology. Up to the present, we human beings have not completely control the mass application of new energy. It is still in the period of experiment, and there is no doubt a long way to go. Though we have established hundreds of new energy stations, such as wind energy stations and nuclear energy stations, the proportions of the usage of new energy is still low. In addition, we should notice that only a few developed countries handle the technology of the application of new energy. Most of the countries in the world can not afford the costs for the research and utility of new energy. All of these problems need to be solved by the development of technology.

Furthermore, the application of new energy is not only a problem of technology, but it is also a troublesome issue associated with economy and polity. From ancient time to the present, especially from the nineteenth century, the exploiting and using of old energy is the main foundation and agent of the economical growth. It is not so easy to replace old energy with the new. What's more, the application of new energy needs deep international corporations of countries around the world. How could we successfully put off the discriminations and prejudices on the differences between nations, races and religions? It is really a huge project to undertake.

Rome was not built in a day. To myself, I totally wish the day when the new energy replaces the old would come earlier as soon as possible. However, we all should keep calm on the prospect of new energy. There is a long, long way for us to go.

woaichixiguaUID: 2450470

Some optimistic people/optimists believe that traditional energy like fossil fuels will soon be replaced by new energy forms, such as solar energy, wind energy and nuclear energy. Though it is definitely much/far more efficient and green( green只有两个意思,一个是绿色,一个是没经验,你想表达的是哪个呢?) for the using of new energy, frankly to say/to be frank or frankly speaking, I can not agree with these pollyanna. I will demonstrate some primary viewpoints here in the following paragraphs.

,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USA)m*AlN_+Q
The main problem in the application of the new energy lies in the development of technology. Up to the present, we human beings have not completely control the mass application of new energy. It is still in the period of experiment/ still in the experimental phase, and there is no doubt we still need a long way to go. Though we have established hundreds of new energy stations/ though hundreds of new energy stations had already be established, such as wind energy stations and nuclear energy stations, the proportions of the usage of new energy is still low. In addition, we should notice that only a few developed countries handle/ is handling the technology of the application of new energy. Most of the countriesin the world/while most deveolping countries  can not afford the costs for/involved in the research and utility/utilization of new energy. All of these problems need to be solved by the development of technology.

,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USA1l([dd*^{        u
Furthermore, the application of new energy is not only a problem of technology, but it is also a troublesome issue associated with economy and polity/policy. From ancient time to the present, especially from the nineteenth century, the exploiting and using of old energy is the main foundation and agent of the economical growth. It is not so easy to replace old energy with the new. What's more, the application of new energy needs deep/firm international corporations of/among countries around the world. How could/can we/people successfully put off the discriminations and prejudices on the differences between nations, races and religions? It is really a huge project to undertake.|
留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE'm6E$I)Ci
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寄托家园3e~/qxolb
Rome was not built in a day. To myself/as for me, I totally wish the day when the new energy replaces the old would come earlier as soon as possible. However, we all should keep calm on the prospect of new energy. There is a long, long way for us to go.

书面文字多用一点被动语态会比较好
有些词语的意思有点误用，比如那个green，我猜你是想表达绿色的意思，但是green在美语里面的绿色没有咱中国人那个绿色的意思
总的来说思路还是清晰的，感觉多用点例子会比较好
加油加油哦～～

chineseladyUID: 2403976

124，昨天我的作业被你改，你好责任滴！改了好多呢 我有时候很马虎的 那两个单词是我写的不对 也欢迎你今天也来看我的作业 如果有时间的话，谢谢你:handshake 加油一起:loveliness:

yuanhu124UID: 2444317

谢谢woaichixigua的修改，很中肯！有几个地方是我平时用惯了的地方，经过这么一改，的确要好很多！
PS：待会去学习chineselady的作文。