COMEON作文小组------tclrj 9月4日作业

tclrjtclrjUID: 2517750

今天没有超时，但感觉写的有点水，没发挥出水平……对付看吧唉，状态好差

Despite the truth that the usage of automobiles keeps raising all these years, I expect the number of them would slightly reduce in the following two decades, since there are tremendous changes taking place on the subjective aspect as well as objective aspect of people's life.

The changes taken upon the objective side for the reducing of the number of cars used is that there are various kinds of alternatives available nowadays, and what's more, the petroleum which conventional cars are fed by suffered the tough position of rising price and shortage of resource. The subways are expanding to every place where it's needed and able to build, the city trains which are subways above the ground are extremely capable to be built for tough terrain. Buses still a dominate means for citizens to reach almost every street of the city. Some may argue that cars are more convenient for individuals, but the raising petroleum price cannot be neglected easily for the populace. Many would rather walk a few miles to a bus stop than to spend huge money on gasoline.

A shift happened on the subjective aspect is that people are paying a closer attention on the environment protection and the convenience of others. The polluted air in the city, the urban heat island phenomena, and the rising occurrence of lung diseases alter citizens that our world as well as ourselves cannot bear that much car waste. Everyone should hold the responsibility to contribute some effort to change this situation. During the Olympic Games in Beijing, half of the automobiles are prohibited to work and some people choose to group themselves together in one car to go to work, most of them soon find this is good solution for reducing traffic jams in rush hours and also help to alleviate financial problems. This kind of mutually beneficial settlement encourages less car possession.

Though it's hard to say the number of automobiles will definitely decline in the following decades since the population and technology development are quite unpredictable, but it's obvious to everyone that the number of cars possessed per person will decrease undoubtedly. Anyway, a good start is half success.

[ 本帖最后由 tclrjtclrj 于 2008-9-4 20:38 编辑 ]

yangkeli22UID: 2360405

Despite the truth that the usage of automobiles keeps raising all these years, I expect the number of them would slightly reduce in the following two decades, since there are tremendous changes taking place on the subjective aspect as well as objective aspect of people's life.

The changes taken upon the objective side for the reducing of the number of cars used is that there are various kinds of alternatives available(这两个词意思重复了，楼主是想说有不同有交通工具吧) nowadays, and what's more, the petroleum which conventional cars are fed by suffered the tough position of rising of price and shortage of resource. The subways are expanding to every place where it's needed and able to build, the city trains which are subways above the ground are extremely capable to be built for tough terrain.（老实说，这句看的不太明白） Buses still a dominate means for citizens to reach almost every street of the city. Some may argue that cars are more convenient for individuals, but the raising petroleum price cannot be neglected easily for the populace这个词用的挺好的. Many would rather walk a few miles to a bus stop than to spend huge money on gasoline.

A shift happened on the subjective aspect is that people are paying a closer attention on the environment protection and the convenience of others. The polluted air in the city, the urban heat island phenomena, and the rising occurrence of lung diseases alter citizens that our world as well as ourselves cannot bear that much car waste. Everyone should hold the responsibility to contribute some effort to change this situation. During the Olympic Games in Beijing, half of the automobiles are prohibited to work and some people choose to group themselves together in one car to go to work, most of them soon find this is good solution for reducing traffic jams in rush hours and also help to alleviate financial problems. This kind of mutually beneficial settlement encourages less car possession.这段写的挺好，论述充分，例子又新

Though it's hard to say the number of automobiles will definitely decline in the following decades since the population and technology development are quite unpredictable, but（和前面的though相左） it's obvious to everyone that the number of cars possessed per person will decrease undoubtedly. Anyway, a good start is half success.

qawsedUID: 2359935

Despite the truth that the usage of automobiles keeps raising all these years, I expect (indicate好一点)the number of them would slightly reduce in the following two decades, since there are tremendous changes taking place on the subjective aspect as well as objective aspect of people's life.

The changes taken upon the objective side for the reducing of the number of cars used（ reduction of car usage） is that there are various kinds of alternatives available nowadays, and what's more, the petroleum which conventional cars are fed by suffered(has suffered) the tough position of rising price and shortage of resource. The subways are expanding to every place where it's needed and able to build这个可不要有点啰嗦了, the city trains which are subways above这地方有问题 the ground are extremely capable to be built for tough terrain. Buses (Bus is 这句貌似没谓语) still a dominate means for citizens to reach almost every street of the city. Some may argue that cars are more convenient for individuals, but the raising petroleum price cannot be neglected easily for the populace. Many would rather walk a few miles to a bus stop than to spend huge money on gasoline.这段说了汽车可能被取代，不过有点乱，你可以以一种排比的形式把subway,city train, bus连贯点表达出来，会显得工整些，还有就是主题句不明显，最好别用复合句，复合句可以用在后面的论证中。

A shift happened on the subjective aspect is that people are paying a closer attention on the environment protection and the convenience of others. The polluted air in the city, the urban heat island phenomena, and the rising occurrence of lung diseases alter citizens that our world as well as ourselves cannot bear that much car waste. Everyone should hold the responsibility to contribute some effort to change this situation. During the Olympic Games in Beijing, half of the automobiles are prohibited to work and some people choose to group themselves together in one car to go to work, most of them soon find this is good solution for reducing traffic jams in rush hours and also help to alleviate financial problems. This kind of mutually beneficial settlement encourages less car possession这段很棒！

Though it's hard to say the number of automobiles will definitely decline in the following decades since the population and technology development are quite unpredictable, but it's obvious to everyone that the number of cars possessed per person will decrease undoubtedly. Anyway, a good start is half success.
这个结尾很危险啊，lz要注意了啊！你要对自己的观点有个大是大非的倾向，不能左面也行右面也可能的，你这样就跑题了，注意注意啊！~一定一定要改正过来哦

tclrjtclrjUID: 2517750

嘿嘿，时间一限住语法错误飙多啊……好惨烈……

老想像ISSUE一样写两面，下次一定要狠心控制住了……谢谢两位的建议……

krasovskyUID: 2232937

弱问一下，是不是每天的作业应该有个总贴啊，然后大家分别发贴，再把自己的帖子的链接地址放到那个总贴里，然后跟据在总贴里楼上楼下的位置进行互改。

woaichixiguaUID: 2450470

排3楼的，除了结尾都很好

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