COMEON作文小组------macross 9月5日作业

macross_36UID: 2306285

The extended family which means the grandfather and grandmother, the uncles and the cousins are an important part of a whole family. It has long been put into qualm in deciding whether this kind of family is becoming less significant. In my perspective, the extended family's importance has not decreased for the following essential reasons.
The main reason for my assertion is that the grandparents' significance is palpable. Grandparents, who are the parents of our father and mother, are experienced persons. Their experience taught them how to lead a better life. It is crucial for us to learn from them about how to communicate with others, how to deal with things maturely and how to face difficulties. Naturally, they are willing to teach us about these lessons. That is the significance of the grandparents.
Another essential reason involves the help from the extended family. As far as I am concerned, the more family members we have, the more help we could get from them. Grandparents, cousins and uncles are our relatives, they would not ignore the troubles we encounter. Sometime, they play an essential role in dealing with our problems. Take my experience for instance, my parents are doing business abroad. It is troublesome for them to take care of me for everything. Once I got badly hurt when playing basketball, it is my uncle that brought me to hospital to help me pass the difficulty. Thus, help form extended family should be an important aspect.
Admittedly, the inferiority always goes with priority. There are undeniable disadvantage factors about the extended family. On one hand, with the fast development of the society, we begin to have the so called "generation gaps" with our grandparents. It means that we sometimes cannot understand what they told us to do and not to do. On the other hand, extended family members may be far from where we are living. Thus they may not bring their help immediately.
To sum up, the extended family is still important nowadays for the reason that although there are some disadvantages, the benefits it can bring obviously carry more weights than its drawbacks.

Word Count: 355
这个题目不好写哎。

moyukaUID: 2497564

The extended family which means the grandfather and grandmother, the uncles and the cousins is an important part of a whole family. It has long been put into qualm in deciding whether this kind of family is becoming less significant.(我觉得应该和第一句交换位置，这样更加通顺。)In my perspective, the extended family's importance has not decreased for the following essential reasons.
The main reason for my assertion is that the grandparents' significance is palpable. Grandparents, who are the parents of our father and mother, are experienced persons. Their experience taught them how to lead a better life . Also It is crucial for us to learn from them about how to communicate with others, how to deal with things maturely and how to face difficulties. Naturally, they are willing to teach us about these lessons. That is the significance of the grandparents. （可以多写点例子）
Another essential reason involves the help from the extended family. As far as I (am) concerned, the more family members we have, the more help we could get from them. Grandparents, cousins and uncles are our relatives , they would not ignore the troubles we encounter. Sometimes, they play an essential role in dealing with our problems. Take my experience for instance, my parents are doing business abroad. It is troublesome for them to take care of me for everything. Once I got badly hurt when playing basketball, it is my uncle that brought me to hospital to help me pass the difficulty. Thus, help from extended family should be an important aspect.

Admittedly , the inferiority always goes with priority. There are undeniable disadvantage factors about the extended family. On one hand, with the fast development of the society, we begin to have the so called "generation gaps" with our grandparents .It means that we sometimes cannot understand what they told us to do and not to do.(怪怪的，感觉像我们听不懂年纪大的人说什么。) On the other hand, extended family members may be far from where we are living. Thus they may not bring their help immediately.
最后应该有个总论支持第一段吧，Though we may have generation gap with the extended family or they are living to far to offer us frist time help,we can not ignore the benefit we can get from them, neither can we ignore happiness that only family time can bring to us….blabulalal………..  我觉得能用的动词的还是尽量不用名词，读起来会比较顺一些，也没有刻意复杂化的嫌疑。

[ 本帖最后由 moyuka 于 2008-9-6 19:01 编辑 ]

macross_36UID: 2306285

谢谢修改！
总结段咋没贴上，我晕。

qawsedUID: 2359935

The extended family which means the grandfather and grandmother, the uncles and the cousins is an important part of a whole family这个开头有些问题，开头就把自己限制在了祖父祖母上面去，限制了后面论述的范围，另外大家庭也不只定义与祖父母啊~
和你第三段描述的the more family members we have，直接冲突了。
再有就是后面的楼上给你改的It means that we sometimes cannot understand what they told us to do and not to do.(怪怪的，感觉像我们听不懂年纪大的人说什么。)
lz参考下，加油！